jack

When a final goal is only a tool to give you intermediate goals

2023-02-06T23:06:19Z

Despite intermediate goals often being a tool to reach a final goal, I was recently noticing a lot of different cases in life when the reverse was true.

Exercise

This is the one that got me thinking. I realised that I used to really often have a problem that if I was running or something, and try to "run fast for a bit", I'd almost immediately run out of motivation to continue, not from immediate discomfort, but from feeling like "I won't be able to keep this up long enough to matter, it's not worth it". When I started exercising regularly, I started with something like Couch to 5k, and really really relied on having a set target for the session, which I did everything I could to meet. I didn't think of that as a "thing", just that exercise was hard to maintain. (And I DID experience positive feelings in my body, unlike some people!)

Since I've been treated for adhd and a bit less stressed out by doing something that feels important that I used to be bad at, I feel like I am more able to say things like "lets see if I can maintain this pace for another 2 minutes" or "lets adjust the target" according to what feels like it will be useful and follow through on them, without falling into reinforcing "I MUST hit my original target, I MUST" or falling into "oh it feels hard, I'll reduce the target"

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I went open water swimming! It was incredibly nice.

2022-06-21T21:18:59Z

I went open water swimming! It was incredibly nice.

I cycled down to Grantchester meadows again, in swimming trunks and t-shirt I could whip off, and walked along to one of the new slips. I just walked right in, the water is so warm I barely needed any acclimitisation at all, it was so nice in the water I found it hard to leave.

I was bold and tried swimming from that slip up to the top of the meadows where Grantchester starts, and walked back, and it went sufficiently well that I then swam down to the *other* slip and walked back from that as well.

I wasn't sure about swimming along: most of the way it wouldn't be easy to get out, so even though it wasn't far, I was committed. And the bottom of the river is inconsistent: some places it's easy to stand up, some places it's deep mud, some places it's deep, and some places it's rather overgrown with ominously grasping plants with big leaves. But I knew that I could swim a fair distance in a managed pool, and in fact it was totally fine. Even a couple of field lengths felt a long way when you didn't quite know what to expect, but it was really satisfying.

It was about 500m between the two swims, which was short compared to what I normally do, but doing it all continuously was harder work too.

It turns out, when you're swimming outside, that breaks the magical barrier of talking to strangers, and also makes you look like like a really interesting person! A few people spoke to me, including four who'd brought a little table, table cloth, and little teaparty.

And I got talking to two: One, an engine driver who was out with his canoe (not on strike, on holiday), who attracted a set of ducks onto his canoe. One a retail worker from Duxford who'd come to swim and sunbathe in Grantchester for the day and helped me re-sunscreen after swimming.

I felt incredibly refreshed for a couple of hours not needing to do a lot of things.

I remembered the temporary ban on swimming, and I'm really glad there seems to have been some sort of compromise which makes it actually easier.

And I also keep meaning to tempt other people to come swim with me, but it's almost always something I do at short notice so it's hard to arrange.

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Friday Five: Outside

2022-06-15T08:03:36Z

https://thefridayfive.dreamwidth.org/110472.html

1. What kind of bugs do you see outside this time of year?

I really don't pay enough attention to recognise what comes out when. But I have enjoyed seeing more butterflies around generally, either because of more meadows nearby, or me paying more attention, or a recovery in populations. It's lovely to see them flitting around the garden. And others too, but I can't remember what.

2. What's your favorite food to eat outside?

Anything, in a way -- I quite like eating at an outside table even when conditions are perfect.

But specific outside food, I guess that mostly means picnic food: nice, fresh, sandwiches, nice crisps, veg, maybe dips, cold refreshing drinks. Especially after a trek. Or BBQ. Or spontaneous ice-cream.

3. How much rain is too much rain?

A light rain, I'll happily just accept, since I started carrying a baseball cap, and not wearing clothes pristine enough for it to make a difference. A torrential (for england) downpour is nice if you can watch from safety. It's not as much, how heavy, as when it goes on for too long

4. What are you celebrating this month?

My belated birthday celebration. Maybe making progress on healthcare admin. Getting some plans into place at work. Regular outside swimming. Improved productivity techniques. I need to do some more FUN things though.

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Cycling to Huntingdon and back

2022-05-02T11:11:56Z

Trying to expand my cycling as a source of serious exercise while I avoid running and maybe even long walks until I'm confident my knees are ok, yesterday I aimed for a 40 miles cycle, the longest ever for me.

I made a loop up to Huntingdon parallel to the A14, then back through St Ives and the busway.

I start off along King's Hedges Road, then along the heavily fenced cycle path between Histon Rd and Huntingdon Rd. Then dodge up to Girton, and slip out the bottom end onto the cycle path which runs parallel to the A14 all the way to Fenstanton. That path is the opposite of some -- well paved, lots of space, but not especially nice scenery. But because it's easy to just GO, it's quite a nice way to start. And I like seeing the random bits of untended scrubland around.

That passes Bar Hill and Cambridge Services if you need a stop, although I didn't.

Through Fenstanton, then onto a passable A-road (or narrow on-pavement path if you prefer) round to Hemingford Grey. Now we reach villages just off the Ouse, oozing picturesque. I stopped on a bench here for lunch. Then along to Hemingford Abbots which is equally picturesque but with much bigger houses.

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The Thicket: 13/10, perfect place.
St Ives: 9/10, nice place, easy to cycle, only occasional cars
Busway: 10/10, easy cycling, familiar, passes through nice places, WCs conveniently at Northstowe

Retrospective:

It was a nice day. I'd previously done 30+ miles and felt like I could do more if I just stayed out a little bit longer so I was fairly sure 40 miles would be ok, but I also felt like Huntingdon was a long way away and perhaps I was kidding myself. But it was about right: enough to push me a bit, but not enough to end up with a long painful slog home in the dusk. Hopefully I will keep it up.

I'm used enough to following the routes I didn't have much worry whether I'd find my way through. National Cycle Route 51 which I've followed E of Cambridge also comes this way, up the busway, and then at St Ives cutting across a bridge to join the route I took through Hemingfords and the signs were often helpful.

I feel achy today but in a mostly good way, my knees aren't sure but don't seem to have got worse.

I stopped at a lot of nice places for a bit of a read, if anything I want to make sure to keep that up, maybe even fit in more of it. I found a lot of nice places on the way.

I'm still not going very actually fast, but faster than I used to. I guess I hadn't dived into proper cycling gear, and I still have panniers for lunch and jumper etc, so I'm not as efficient as I could be, although at least my new bike is better for this than my old bike.

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This month wins

2022-04-16T15:48:31Z

This month wins:

Hourly brain self check-ins on many days
WD-40 to bike chain
Bought bike lube
Bought running top, shorts
Sorted piles of post
Parkrun time 37:33min (down below 40min)
Started new meds
Petted alpacas
Work appraisal
Set up weights on patio
Reprogrammed thermostate for summertime
Bought little animal clips to identify people's cups/glasses
Sorted bathroom stockpile and cabinet
Cleaned half of the kitchen and living room
Bought filing trays
Cleared nettles on drive
Went to Oxford and saw the shark
Lost pandemic legacy
Finished work project

When I put it like that, it sounds like I was pretty productive! But it's hard to persuade my brain until (maybe) enough areas of my life start feeling like they're under control that it starts to slowly get my brain used to the idea that I might be adulting ok even if I haven't done something incredibly useful in the last few minutes :)

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Half way down the stairs is the box where I fit

2021-10-26T19:29:00Z

Half way down the stairs is the box where I fit
There isn't any other box QUITE like it
If I'm not in box A, and I'm not in box B
Then when will I find just right the box for me?
The box that I fit
It isn't quite normal
It isn't quite weird
It isn't quite straight
And it isn't quite queered
But all sorts of funny thoughts run around in my head
And I don't fit in your box, I fit in my box instead

I wrote a poem! Adapted from A. A. Milne's "Halfway down the stairs is the stair where I sit"

It came out in a burst, trying to capture the feeling of finding the box where YOU fit, and not feeling like you just don't fit anywhere anymore. In this case, for potentially getting a diagnosis of ADHD (or autism).

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Swimming

2021-08-15T20:05:06Z

I went swimming again, almost all afternoon at Jesus Green Lido.

I brought my goggles and for almost the first time I've been there the water was clear enough to see a long way. It was quite magical drifting underwater -- the natural light falling down, and dozens of small leaves hanging suspended stationary in front of you like a living box of light, instead of an empty skybox.

I swam ten good strokes underwater which as much as I usually ever manage, and swam down to the deepest point a few times.

And swam a proper mile.18 lengths, 1800 yards, none of this 1600 or 1700 approximation I end up converting yards to meters and back again :)

Sunday I cycled to Upware along the (broken) cycle route 11, first time I've tried to follow a national cycle route. Description on facebook.

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ADHD emotional dysregulation

2021-07-21T16:39:12Z

As often happens, a friend with experience with ADHD linked me to a quiz inspired by diagnostic questions. One question was "Do you often have difficulty completing tasks because of your own emotions" (or something like that) and I was like YES that's my entire personality. (Exaggerated for effect, that's not my only personality but it is defining a lot of my characteristic experiences.)

Another was "do you tend to give up on tasks that you find hard or confusing" and... yeah, that. Not intellectual things! But "no-one tells you what to do" things

To cut a long quiz short, I had medium levels of forgetfulness and inattention, low levels of impulsivity and forgetfulness, no developmental delays, but maxed out "Emotional Dysregulation" and "Inflexibility". So not classical ADHD but I DO fail to do things: https://www.idrlabs.com/adhd-spectrum/65-45-70-25-100-90-40/result.php

Aside

Obviously those are based on my quiz answers. Lots of the questions I yelled "COMPARED TO WHO?" and I wasn't being contrary -- genuinely the thing I want to know is, given my awareness of my own level of eg coping strategies for being late, is that typical, or high, or low?

I wasn't born knowing how much average people struggle with things! And even if you ask most people can't tell you! So went with best guesses. But assuming the "YES THAT'S ME" questions and the "I guess I do have coping strategies there" q I placed ok results prob mostly right

Continuation

My friend recommended the video "Why is it so hard to do something that should be so easy" by "How to ADHD" BY Jessica McCabe about adhd style emotional dysregulation and "climbing the wall of awful" and strategies that don't work. Short and v watchable: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Uo08uS904Rg

I don't want to be premature but that seemed to unlock answers to a lot of questions. I have a lot of friends with similar but different struggles and I seemed to fit in with them but some of my classic experiences didn't fit them and vice versa, so I didn't have a box for me

I like being in literal boxes, and I like being in metaphorical boxes when they're the right shape, but not when they're not. But this seemed right for me. Knowing seemed to help, even in a few days. And gives me an action plan. See how much knowing the things I need to watch fixes them. Possibly diagnosis helps. Possibly medicine helps.

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Wimpole to Orwell

2021-04-12T07:59:04Z

Photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?vanity=jack.vickeridge&set=a.10104003128715130

I extended my walk with a short leg joining up Wimpole Hall to Orwell, a nearby village, which joins to another long distance trail I criss-crossed before, the Greenwich Meridian Trail (running roughly south to London).

Now, along with my short walk from Waterbeach up the river to Bottisham Lock along the Fen Rivers Way (which goes from Cambridge to King's Lynn), that joins up bits of route all the way from Bottisham Lock along the river to Cambridge, and the through Cambridge past the CMS and West Cambridge Site to Coton, and on through the villages to Wimpile Hall and thence Orwell.

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I'M GOING TO GET VACCINATED!

2021-03-09T20:41:21Z

I've no idea why I'm apparently early in the queue, if my GP just had a surplus of slots, or if it's based on my weight, or something else.

But I've been saying for months not to quibble, just take what's offered, so I must just take my own medicine. On Saturday! In Barnwell.

I'll be able to do things again. At some point. Very eventually. But maybe I'll feel it's responsible to do SOME more things before that, given our current high level of caution. But eventually, public face licking parties! :)

Many condolences to people who have come up unlucky in the queue, especially people who were more vulnerable to start with. That's a lot about the national situation that should have been different. But it's still nice to celebrate some victories whether or not the best victories

I've almost forgotten how to be excited by things. I'm trying to consciously remind myself. I can't have a party (yet), but I used all caps. Non-ironically!!

Go me! Go me!

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Jack and adventures in dishwasher unclogging land

2021-02-04T15:49:30Z

I feel really stupid that I live in a house and don't understand how to fix it (with either competence or money). But slow progress!

Dishes were clean. Bailed standing water out successfully. Unscrewed the filter drain bit at the bottom

I had the magic right size star screwdriver, so +1000 past Jack for buying a too extensive screwdriver set. Why are there so many different shapes of screw? WHY CAN'T THERE JUST BE ONE?

Took out a little basket, and some related bits. Really needed cleaning, vinegar plus soaking plus scrubbing made them a lot more palatable! That's the bit I've done before but should do more regularly

Actually those bits came out first, before I got to the screws. But once the screws are off, the larger filter drain component seems like it only comes off from underneath the dishwasher

Waggling the dishwasher out from under the counter looks possible but difficult

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Alpacaoids in Coton

2021-01-17T20:45:13Z

Alpacaoids at Coton!

Went for a muddy walk :) Think I went that way decades ago when it was a footpath behind the CMS, before a lot of the nice path was put in.

I cycled to West Cambridge site and walked along the cycle path bridge to Coton, dodging road works.

Near Coton church, looking very lively

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Infections falling, deaths still rising

2021-01-13T14:50:54Z

First good news, it looks like number of infections in UK (and London) have JUST started to fall. If so (and it's very early to be sure), that's some evidence lockdown #3 is working. I was genuinely scared it wasn't enough.

And genuinely scared that if it wasn't enough, the government would continue to double down on blaming people for exercising outside while infections climbed, and done nothing to address the most likely causes of infection (businesses and public transport where people HAVE to be indoors, but the guidance on how to minimise risks is outdated and unhelpful).

On the downside, deaths are still rising. Looks like it's worse than the first wave and hospitals will continue to struggle 🙁

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Birthday Party tomorrow (all online!)

2021-01-08T19:46:59Z

Birthday party tomorrow (Sat) evening (c.f. https://jack.dreamwidth.org/1128589.html)

There are a variety of 'rooms' present as zoom breakout rooms, discord channels, and pages in a google sheet.

Zoom link: [see locked post] (online from this evening)
Discord link: [see locked post] (feel free to comment now)
Sheets link: [see locked post] (feel free to post pictures now)

I will make the rooms in a hurry tomorrow, but expect "hang out and chat" but maybe also "post pictures of yourself dressed up", "no politics chat", "the bar area", "hi I don't know anyone", "anyone for games?" etc. Some will be more active in video, some on text and spreadsheet. Feel free to look by earlier, drop in briefly, or hang out all evening.

If you've never used zoom before, you may want to make sure you have it ready (using desktop client, web interface, or mobile app). It's pretty straightforward but the user interface can be weird. If you installed the desktop client six months ago, you may want to download the latest version (5.3 or later).

If you've never used discord before you should be able to use it in the desktop app, desktop web browser, or mobile browser, and use the link to join my server, but you may want to check the link works.

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10 things in 2020 (things 6-10)

2021-01-03T09:46:00Z

6. I tried out digital drawing for Drawtober, mostly using Krita (open source paint program), and did one drawing a day during the month. You should be able to see them on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10103380935724870&type=3 but ask me for a better link if you'd like.

I also wrote fanfic for the yuletide fanfic exchange (see previous post), and a few snippets and original fic. And experimented with making some board game designs including Pentacle-Assembling Demon Summoning game, Xenobotany game, Assassins Guild Annual DInner, etc.

7. We survived lockdown basically all year. We isolated from each other for two weeks at one point when it was the responsible thing to do, and probably it didn't make a difference but I'm glad we tried. We had evenings from the top and bottom of the stairs eating dinner and playing board games with each other electronically, like something out of a romantic drama. We had a lot of zoom and skype parties. We managed to visit each of our parents and a few other people outside, doing a day's drive without staying overnight. And saw the sea.

8. I tried out six different gyms, chose one, tried to set good habits, and then got set back by lockdown again and again. I am still trying to build a consistent improvement in jogging and weights, but I am making some progress there.

9. We continued our world film project from India to Japan, so less than one film a month, but it's been good to have in mind. At this rate we'll have finished in about 20 years :)

10. I continued on and off various projects to unfuck my brain reading some relevant books, trying to make time for some relevant exercises. I still don't have a good overview, but I feel like what I did was useful.

ETA: Link to fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/28297368 https://archiveofourown.org/works/28140054

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Ten things in 2020

2021-01-02T17:08:27Z

What happened in 2020? Well, eliding a bunch of pandemic stuff I could swear about for tens of thousands of words:

1. We had dinner at Midsummer House for our anniversary. We'd never been sure if it was quite worth it for vegetarians, but when we did it was very very very nice.

Also we got ourselves a breadmaker, which has been extremely useful all year. We really love having fresh bread on tap.

2. I started a new job at the beginning of the year, and pandemic has made everything kind of tiring and given other ups and downs, but overall it's gone very well.

3. I finished running an 18-month long rolelaying campaign, in the fabled Under-Labyrinth I invented, using DnD 5e rules. I also ran an adventure for our partners and their children set in a village on the back of one of the turtles in a big school-archipelago, where they're mentors to a young small island-turtle. And I ran a one-off for some friends from the ex-heffers rpg group.

I also played in a Descent into Avernus game (dnd 5e goes to mad max hell) run by one of the players from the campaign I was running. And one in a Mediterranean medieval faerie tale world run by an old friend from the Cambridge tolkien society. And one in a giant 3d magicpunk city ran by a nanowrimo friend.

4. I kept organising the Cambridge Poly Meet. It was really hard to keep the group going through lockdown. There's a lot I wished I could have done but didn't manage because my attention was elsewhere. But I kept it going.

5. I kept playing semi-regular bridge with Cambridge and London friends online (and also with other friends, partners, and Rachel's family). Spent a year playing Gloomhaven with Rachel and sometimes other partners. Intermittently returned to a long-running Stellaris game. Played a lot of Fortnite with partners' children and with Rachel. Played Penultima with SGO friends. Lots of so-pretty Hades. Steamworld Dig and other games on the new Switch. Other board games.

TBC.

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Fanfic I wrote for Yuletide!

2021-01-02T09:51:46Z

Time for author reveals!

I wrote: Interview with a University Snake Wrangler, expanding Snake Fight Portion of Your Thesis Defence into a student newspaper interview. The comments were very enthusiastic about it: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28297368

But that was just a treat, my main story was hase Wasps in the Library for Naomi Novik's Scholomance, with El being cosy and homely with her friends, and venturing into a dangerous segment of the library with Orion. It has All The Feels: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28140054

But I got more comments on the snake fight, probably because it's fun but short :)

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Cherry Blossom and Leather Chair Art

2020-11-01T11:11:16Z

Cherry Blossom portrait!

I really love how this one turned out, I'm proud of it. The layered leaf effects on the tree look amazing. I like the background too, although I wish I could get it as realistic as the tree with a similar amount of stylisation.

Leather chair

I like the style, I aimed for something I could use for a lightly-stylised style for board game design for "assassins guild annual dinner" game or games with a similar tone, and I think that worked well

Next time I could do shadows better, but this has a good feel

Other art

The other drawings I've been posting this month are on twitter: https://twitter.com/CartesianDaemon/media (scroll back to see pictures this month, most are uploaded drawings) and facebook: https://twitter.com/CartesianDaemon/media I love the dinosaur sunset one, but the sketch garden, the basking coo, and the swirly blue ghost are worth looking at too.

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Drawtober

2020-10-25T21:23:58Z

I have been doing drawtober all month, trying to adapt to drawing on a computer instead of paper. It's been a strange journey, some things so much easier, some things a lot harder, but I really enjoyed some of my experiments.

Probably the most convenient place to see them is on facebook: Recent uploads and all my art. You should be able to see them without logging into facebook! If not, please comment and I'll have a fiddle. Or if anyone has a recommendation for a more reliable place to store images in albums, please suggest it.

I particularly liked the silhouetted dinosaur at sunset, the cow basking in a field of sunlight, the two superhero figures against dramatic color backdrops, the big wave, and the snowy foggy forest, and the swirly blue mist ghost.

There's some quite different techniques. The wave and forest were from Realistic Paint, a program that aims to simulate physical paints a lot more. The figures were made in Krita, a major open source digital paint program, drawing an outline (freehand or tracing a poser), using a tool to fill, and adding shades and highlights on a new layer which make it pop as a on-flat figure. The cow and dinosaur were made in Krita trying to emulate some of the techniques of realistic paint.

I found an old graphics tablet I never really used and it helped a lot with sketching well. The pressure sensitivity isn't working on this computer yet though, I don't know if that's worth debugging further.

Krita seems to asusme there's no point doing paint-y stuff unless you have a pressure sensitive graphics tablet, which makes sense, but seems strange. The colourful effects I made by using a combination of different brushes to put in colour and then smear it about to make texture, and I'm not sure if that's normal. I assume you CAN make a brush that does something similar to a paintbrush in Realistic Paint, but it doesn't seem to be the default and I'm not sure if I understand why.

But I have a cartoon-y style and paint-y style that both seem to produce results, so the month has been reasonably rewarding.

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Come have distanced coffee?

2020-09-09T22:02:07Z

How much have other people been socialising in person?

Now I consider it fairly safe, who else wants to come visit on our patio furniture for an hour or so (with optional masks and optional drinks)?

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Friday five: Superstitions and Favourite Pens

2020-08-17T17:28:18Z

What superstitions do you have?

I don't actually believe any supernatural things. I do have a certain amount of habits that could be superstition, like not jinxing an outcome by saying it's certain before it's been confirmed.

And I guess, some habits that just make me feel good, like running a set of tests several times, just to feel the reassurance that they're all passing. Or if a new test passes first time, deliberately breaking the code just to make sure the test exists.

What is your favorite pen to write with and why?

I don't have a special special pen that I always like to use, but I like having a plentiful supply of medium to good quality ballpoints so I can always rely on having a decent non-flaky pen when I want to write anything. Getting rid of miscellaneous doubtful pens and keeping a supply of ones I like using has made me feel more comfortable in my life.

In fact, that might be a trend with me. I tend to rarely have special things, perhaps from dislike that they will only last so long, or might get ruined. But I appreciate treating myself to a good baseline by having good ish things as a standard.

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Writing tips inspired by The Importance of Being Earnest

2020-07-19T22:14:17Z

1. The middle act should go in a NEW direction that's exciting and surprising, not be "and then some stuff happens you don't really need to know".

2. The character's concerns should be petty (for a comedy) or weighty (for a drama) but they themselves should take them seriously. The characters don't overreact. That would be forced. The characters react very naturally -- given the ridiculous nature of their hang-ups and predicaments.

3. Does the character shape the scene they're in? Does every line push the conversation in a new direction? Can no-one act without caring about what the character will think? Do they act with confidence even if stupidly? If so the character is probably interesting, and you can fit in as many interesting characters as you can.

4. What do you excel at writing? Stuff every scene chock full to the gills with that. What do you endlessly struggle with? Figure out how little makes the story suffer, and how much gets it to the end mostly ok.

5. Does this section sing? Does it make you want to know what happens next? Does it make you fall in love with the characters? Does it set up the events of the next page, the next scene, the end of the play? If not, can it do all those things? Not every scene has to be necessary, but as many as possible have to be great.

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I met people in real life

2020-07-18T22:16:59Z

I met up with some people from work. Outside, on parker's piece, distanced from each other. It was a very normal geek conversation. But I think it was the first time I'd met people purely socially other than close family since March. And the first time I'd used my bike lights. And the first time I'd taken my wallet out since not long after that, except for one delivery.

And... it felt completely normal, not at all like a massive shift. But even so it was a notable milestone. If the situation continued to get better, the next large benchmark would be hugging someone outside my household, but I don't know when.

I'm still quite unsure what I actually think is safe. I think meeting up with people outside is probably basically ok, although still better to do less often than more often. And wearing masks would be better if there's any room for doubt but is basically ok to go without. I'm avoiding shops because I can, although I would shop in person (with mask) if I needed to. I think crowded pub gardens are probably not ok, but quiet pub gardens are probably ok. I think wearing a mask on quiet pavements where you never need to go within 2m of people is probably not necessary but useful for encouraging mask-wearing as a norm. But I'm not sure about any of that -- what do other people think?

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Pandemic Diaries: 2-3 months in

2020-05-28T21:04:24Z

( Read more... )

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Covid: What will happen in the UK in May and June

2020-05-13T11:22:53Z

Several countries got the number of infected people almost back down to where they started, and are cautiously considering relaxing restrictions. This means they need to *quickly* lock down any areas with a new infection until they've traced and tested any contacts, but hopefully they will be able to do so.

I can't help but wish more countries had been able to jump to that point from the start without having an infection get out of control and need a more serious lockdown first. I guess that's similar to what Taiwan and New Zealand did?

Conversely the number of infected people in the UK has levelled off but not really gone down. And now the government is talking about relaxing restrictions. It seems like even sensible, desirable relaxations, or proposed future relaxations, will overall make people less cautious, which in this situation will make the number of infection go up again. Which will make it take that much longer to get down to a safe level again even if effective measures are found. So any plans or June need to be based on, "when the infection rate goes up, will the government reverse direction and lock down harder again? Or will they go on pretending everything is fine while the situation gets even more out of hand?"

I hope that's wrong. Fiends I trust to be sensible ARE talking about what will happen in June. I agree lockdown can't last forever. But where is it wrong? What will happen instead?

What would I do if I were in charge? My best guesses would be:

* Have regular announcements announcing advice stricter in some ways but less strict in others. E.g. allow people to go to the park with relatives 2m apart, but offer more precise restrictions in other areas to show "we need to take this seriously" not "ok, relax".
* Have different advice for different regions.
* Don't focus on the minutiae of people working from home and mostly not seeing people. Work out what's supposed to happen for the biggest obstacles, companies that need people to work safely, what guidance is there? People with children, don't wish away the problem, offer government support to work part time, or allow people to share childcare within a small, fixed group of families.
* Hand a big check to someone in the NHS and say "sorry we fucked up procurement for treatment and testing. go organise it however you would usually organise it".
* Have a series of milestones for relaxing lockdown. E.g. "infection rate below X", "test and trace infrastructure is working"
* Have a plan for phased return to normal life. Pay attention to the people for whom the current situation is most difficult. Make it transparent. You could just copy France's.
* Stop hinting contradictory things. Decide what the strategy is. Decide what messaging communicates that. Communicate that clearly through all channels, regular announcements, adverts. Force newspapers to communicate it clearly, and not to communicate confusing hints.

What happens after that? I don't have an "after" yet. My best guess is that a sufficiently effective test-and-trace infrastructure will slowly allow normal life to resume with local lockdowns when necessary. Or maybe some other scientific breakthrough. Probably not a vaccine, but maybe quick home tests. Or some research breakthrough in how it spreads and can be prevented. Etc.

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