dybr
Feb. 27th, 2023 09:34 pmHad a 1-1 with Jacob, pretty short, everything's fine? everything's fine.
While I was working on my shit, tests stopped running, because there was not enough disk space in the postgres machine. Omfg. Wrote to our devops people or something. Karen answered that we can ssh in there and check.
Karen approved my stuff, except for a typo in an exception message, which she suggested to fix; I did. And kaboom, the tests in Jenkins all failed too. I mean, the integration tests.
I was in panic. Ok, I looked through the code.
Problems:
- these integration tests were not running for over a year;
- every test case creates a new db;
- dropping that db was in a wrong branch of the code, so they all stayed.
Fck. Ok, so... what I did. Wait, it was not easy.
I could not even ping the pg db. Why? No vpn. Why? FIIK, my AT&T was blocking it or something.
So I collected via my phone.
Then I had to extract the db password, which was hiding encrypted in a config file. For that, I knew how to do it, run the code in debugger, and voilà. But it did not run, IntelliJ was just hanging, taking 370% of my cores. Had to kill it, restart it, run the debugger, found the password, remembered it forever, and voilà.
So, what I did.
- installed psql (some ancient knowledge)
- found the trick how to do bulk `DROP DATABASE`
- dropped all 308 of those test databases.
Profit. But github did not recognize a rerun in jenkins, so I had to add another empty line in a .sql file, commit it, and profit.
Ok, I have just two days left to finish this functionality.
Oh, and by the way, I'm also on pager duty, answering and confirming all those "limits exceeded" failures.
What I will do. Check that the db deletion works. Maybe merge some test cases into bigger ones (not nice).
And tomorrow I'll have to finish this db preparation part (all tests are already there), because when it comes to prod, I really don't want to log in and start manipulating the prod db manually. No.
So, what do you think. I find it all funny and entertaining.
For a cat, with love
Dec. 6th, 2025 08:09 pm( Photo of a ramp for an elderly cat )
The conceptual origins of "brainwashing"
Dec. 7th, 2025 03:15 amWolfgang Behr, "Towards a Conceptual Prehistory of 'Brainwashing' / xinao 洗腦". (pdf here and here)
In Brigit Knüsel Adamec, Imbach Jessica, Justyna Jaguścik, Jessica Imbach eds., Re-Thinking Literary China, Essays in Honor of Andrea Riemenschnitter. [Welten Ostasiens / Worlds of East Asia / Mondes de l’Extrême Orient; 40] Berlin: DeGruyter-Brill, 2025, pp. 7-66.
Introduction
When concepts and topics start to become treated as the subject of scholarly studies on the history of culture or knowledge, it is often an unmistakable sign that they have become a little bit dusty and deprecated, mentally encapsulated in a narrative of the past. This is precisely what has happened to the topic of “brainwashing” over the last two decades. A whole series of authors have approached the concept no longer exclusively from the perspective of a sinister present or a threatening future, but with the historian’s backward gaze into the presumed period of “origins.” Others have been less concerned with the phenomenon itself, but with its medializations in film, art or computer games. That said, the “further prospects” chapters by authors interested in the history of the concept throughout the second half of the 20th century seem also in agreement that the practice of enforced thought control at the heart of the term’s denotation is bound to continue. Although the “decade of the brain” (1990–1999) has already been over for a quarter of a century, they unanimously predict new twists in the painful history of techniques of mind manipulation, situated somewhere between psychology, pharmacology and politics. They also point to radically new dimensions of coercive persuasion in the age of the globalized internet and the ongoing digitization of everyday, even intimate practices on social media, as well as the boom of legal and illegal psychoactive substances, whether man-made or engineered with the help of artificial intelligence. All of this is happening against the backdrop of an increasingly unstable world order following the unequivocal end of US hegemony, or, at least, its transatlantic commitments, the widely lamented economic and cultural decline of Europe – a continent which will constitute less than six percent of the world’s population at the end of this century. Not to speak of the internal polarization of “Western” societies in times of media fragmentation, ever increasing economic inequities and post-pandemic disruptions. It is also accompanied by the rapid export of “surveillance capitalism” more sinico to the young global south and the rapid rise of the equally unsettling neo-authoritarian and fascist movements in the old Atlantic north.
The linguistic, philological, and philosophical aspects of "heart", "mind", and brain and the historical facets of the problem of its purging, plus the religious, physiological, and psychiatric manifestations of "cleansing the heart-mind / soul / brain", are examined in great detail, much of it quite grotesque and bizarre, in the bulk of the paper. The paper concludes with a lengthy, eclectic bibliography (13 pages).
Professor Behr presented a summary of the paper with many illustrations at the 50th Anniversary Symposium of the European Ass. of Ch. Studies held at the Collège de France three weeks ago. The slides can be downloaded here.
Selected readings
- Sam Roberts, "Harriet Mills, Scholar Held in ‘Brainwashing Prison’ in China, Dies at 95", NYT (3/29/16) — available in MCLC (Modern Chinese Literature and Culture) Resource Center, The Ohio State University (March 2016)
- David Cowhig, "Has Google Translate Been Brainwashed with Xi Jinping Thought?" (1/17/21)
- Wolfgang Behr grants
cat health worries
Dec. 6th, 2025 09:13 pmSo,
At the exam, the vet told Cattitude that Kaja has not lost weight; if anything, she has gained an ounce or two. What's going on is, the cat has lost some muscle mass, which has led to some redistribution of her weight, and what Cattitude noted was that her legs were thinner. The vet said it was probably arthritis, drew blood to test for some more serious problems, and sent her home.
We got the results this morning, and they are reassuring: Kaja's kidney function, liver function, and thyroid are all fine. So is her blood sugar.
The email said we could have them do X-rays to check for arthritis, but that would require sedating the cat.
Or, they can assume it's arthritis, and give her monthly injections of a pain-killer to treat that, and see how she's doing in a few months.
The third choice is to just monitor the cat's health for now, and give her omega-3 supplements. We need to discuss the choices, but it's Saturday, and none of them involves "so call the vet and set this up right away."
Poem: "Portrait of the Artist Feeling Liminal"
Dec. 6th, 2025 08:25 pmMy lips strong red from wind's chaffing
I do not feel my middle age as any lessening
Here I am, a portrait of myself more vividly
Among old oaks I am still a hot young thing
Mind like a swallow sketching possibility on the wing
They say uncertainty ferments fear
I feel the old familiar thrill of stepping out of known into becoming
___

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
on the first roll of the dice
Dec. 6th, 2025 08:25 pmI also made another 2 lbs of candied pecans, so I have six jars filled and have to wash the other jars so they can also be filled.
Then I took a nap that felt way longer than it was, and so even though it's only like 8:20 I keep thinking it's 11:30 pm or something. Time is so weird.
*
you choose such a backward time
Dec. 6th, 2025 08:08 pmYesterday I walked past a bistro on my way to the gf's place that said "Wine fixes everything".
I am prepared to review their respective arguments, especially if said arguments are made via wine and ice cream.
***
Note that I said "walked" in that story, because I am WALKING again, no cane required. My physiotherapist is fucking magic. I'm still on a bit of a leash so I don't overdo it, but the gf's condo is a 25 minute walk from my house and not only did I walk there, I walked home after and my foot felt fine this morning.
Plans to set the entire world on fire may be temporarily placed on hold as a result.
***
Got my boosters last week. Spent most of my spare time for the next three days sleeping. My immune system calmed down eventually but the first day at work was kinda rough.
***
My dad is doing much better and his wife decided he doesn't need the hospital bed since it's a rental. She was planning to buy him a regular bed, but since I still have the Old Man's old bed frame in my storage locker I offered that one. My sister has a pickup truck, so the two of us hauled it over and set it up.
We're both encouraging her to look into moving to a condo but she's not really receptive to the idea. Thing is, she's also running out of the ability to take care of the place, especially since she's doing it alone and taking care of my dad at the same time. She already hires people to deal with the yard.
***
Still waiting on engineer.
***
( cut for the endless gauntlet of house shit )
***
I have the overwhelming desire to put together a playlist for my family's Xmas dinner. This desire was sparked by hearing Laibach's version of Jesus Christ Superstar on Twitch tonight.
C'mon, it would be hilarious.
Saturday 6 December 2025
Dec. 6th, 2025 05:49 pmEditor's note: Because of the high posting volume and the quantity of information linked in each newsletter,
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Write every day: Day 6
Dec. 6th, 2025 10:33 pmTally:
( Read more... )
Day 5:
Bonus farm news: We went and got four trailer-loads of manure from a nearby farm with horses. The ducks thought Christmas had come early (they love eating worms).
Three Print Editions Available for Pre-order
Dec. 6th, 2025 08:41 pmThe first is Spring Remains the Same (春如旧, pinyin: chun ru jiu) by Ruo Hua Ci Shu (若花辞树), a historical court intrigue novel with a cross-dressing main character. This is coming out from Taiwanese publisher morefate, and has a striking and unusual cover design. The web version of the novel can be read here.
The second is Our Happiness (属于我们的幸福, pinyin: shuyu women de xingfu), which collects two (novella-length?) contemporary romances, authored by Li Zi Li (李子李) and Ling Ling Ren (零零人) respectively. Li Zi Li seems to have a profile on Taiwanese webnovel platform Popo, which features a mixture of mostly danmei and yanqing works. I couldn't find much information about Ling Ling Ren on a cursory search. This edition is published by Caiyi Books.
The third is Whispers After the Spotlight (在流量引爆以后, pinyin: zai liuliang yinbao yihou) by Liu Li (琉璃), a contemporary romance between a cafe owner and an ex-YouTube star. This edition is published by Qianyu. Liu Li (author page here) writes across a range of romance and non-romance genres; her romance-focused titles are predominantly baihe, but there is also some danmei and yanqing. She previously published on JJWXC under the name Liu Li Xing Ren (琉璃星人), and has since terminated her relationship with them. However, a couple of her works (including a femslash fic for Jin Yong's The Heaven Sword and the Dragon Sabre (倚天屠龙记, pinyin: yitian tulong ji), can still be read there.
All three titles can be pre-ordered via Feiqin. The latter two can also be pre-ordered via books.com.tw, which also carry the ebook versions.
Update to a fustercluck
Dec. 6th, 2025 12:59 pmMy brother has organized an ill-advised surprise party for my father's 75th birthday.
Our father is a complete introvert and also very exacting. He likes things to be a certain way, and gets tense and angry if everything is not perfectly to his taste. He hates loud places and large groups of people. Unfortunately, he's always used excessive alcohol to handle social engagements and gets belligerent when drunk.
Because of all of this, I was surprised when my brother, "James" told me that he'd planned a surprise birthday party of 30 guests for my dad at a new restaurant. The guest list includes the following extremely awkward confirmed attendees: our aunt (dad's semi-estranged sister) who is an overbearing religious fanatic none of us can stand; our mother (dad's ex-wife) who is resented by our dad and hated by our aforementioned aunt because of the divorce; and a number of neighbors who our dad has been feuding with off and on for the last 20 years.
I asked my mom why she was going along with this and she said James called in a big favor she owed him and she felt like she couldn’t say no, so he’s pulling out all the stops to make this happen.
I don't know how James could possibly think this is a good idea, except that he has a huge ego and believes this will be some fairy tale reunion where everyone will suddenly make nice. I don't mean that James is a bad guy but he has a tendency to steamroll over people and do things "for their own good." Every argument I've made against this party has prompted him to lecture me and act like he knows so much better because he's 7 years older than me.
It's true that my Dad can be difficult but I don't want him to feel ambushed on his birthday. If James keeps refusing to cancel should I warn my dad? Or do I just kick back with a glass of wine and watch the drama unfold?
( response and update )
Rec-cember Day 6: The Will Darling Adventures by KJ Charles
Dec. 6th, 2025 10:06 pmThis is a trilogy of historical m/m romances by KJ Charles, the queen of the genre. Now, anything penned by KJ Charles is a cut above anyone else's, imho, so if you haven't read anything of hers, you totally should. Characterisation, plot, intrigue, smut, excellent writing, her books have it all. The Will Darling Adventures are set in London in the 1920s. It's a spy/action series with an amazing love story at its heart, where the conflict is absolutely real and the characters have an emotional growth arc across the three books. It's the most satisfying kind of romance. You will fall in love with the two MCs, it's impossible not to. Once you've finished the books you'll be left wanting more, so here's some fic to tide you over. These are all Kim/Will, with a touch of DS/Archie, and won't make much sense unless you've read the books, I'm afraid. Btw, the audiobook version of the books, narrated by Cornell Collins, is just sublime.
the world is but a word. 1.6K words. Will was speaking with a customer when Sir Archibald Curtis walked into his bookshop. A lovely little vignette. Podfic availbale, though I haven't listened to it yet.
scrape out what's left (at the end of the year). 2.2K words. The drive to Holmclere was uneventful, leisurely, and most importantly: not completely overshadowed by one or both of them being framed for murder. At least it had that going for it. Lovely epilogue for the whole seriesscrape out what's left (at the end of the year).
one shade the more. 3.9K words.Perfect Will and Kim voice, their banter kills me.
The Pitt
detect my sudden existence on your sonar by Lirazel . 25K words Mel/Frank. Mel thought everything would get easier when he came back. Instead, it's a new kind of torture. This fic is, to me, the definitive take on Mel's POV. I'm not on the spectrum, I've little experience with people who are, so I may as well be talking out of my arse, but reading this story is just such an immersive experience, ti does such an excellent job of sucking you in and making you feel like you're living it all as Mel would. And the pining is exquisite. So good it's almost unbearable. Gah.
New story in anthology -- out now!
Dec. 6th, 2025 03:29 pmMurderfish is, as it says on the tin, an anthology of stories about murderous fish. (Its predecessors were Murderbirds and Murderbugs, which cracks me up every time I think about it.) Each story features a different kind of sea life, as well as very cool art of them all! I haven't read all the rest yet, but I'm excited to, and it looks like there are a whole lot of genres involved. My story, "In Sheets of Seaweed," is about a woman in the simultaneously privileged and precarious position of being a prince's mistress, who dreams increasingly of sharks calling to her; I called it my "shark selkie" story for a long time before I thought of a title, and in fact after. I'm very fond of this story, and I'm delighted it's found a home at last.
The ebook is available here and the paperback here. The audiobook is coming soon, but hasn't been unveiled quite yet.
Those are both Amazon links, though not affiliate ones. If you're like me and prefer to avoid buying things through Amazon, full support, but for the moment that's all I have. I've asked if it'll be available on other sites as well, and I'll update when I get an answer.

