Today was bright and cold

Nov. 29th, 2025 08:03 pm
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[personal profile] conuly
I guess winter's finally here.

**************************


Read more... )

[pain] oh this book is bad

Nov. 29th, 2025 08:59 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

The terrible hyphenation one can reasonably attribute to a failure to invest in subject specialist proof readers (or possibly any proof readers at all, good grief).

The wildly ahistorical nonsense about the history of medicine? Less so. I begin to understand why there isn't a references section, and I've only made it as far as page 7 before needing to stop and shriek about it and also stare at a wall for a bit...

highlyeccentric: Arthur (BBC Merlin) - text: "SRSLY" (SRSLY)
[personal profile] highlyeccentric

From The Mandarin: Santow tips the bucket on AI slop

In a landmark speech delivered to the Sir Vincent Fairfax Oration in Sydney on Thursday, former human rights commissioner and now sought-after ethical adviser and academic Ed Santow delivered a serious wake-up call to assorted artificial intelligence cheer squad leaders and positivity meme flunkies.

Santow is positive about AI but also highly aware of its impact on societal functions, governance, and culture.

In a tightly woven speech that planted a deep stake in the necessity of the retention of knowledge and memory, Santow argued that “history matters on its own terms”, and its interpretation is also powering the next version of what we know as language models dip into the well.

“As AI disrupts our economy, politics, society and environment, I will make three arguments today:

AI might seem like it comes from the future, but it learns from the past, and so it also anchors us to that past.
Our history — or rather our choices about the versions of history that are recorded and remembered — influences how AI takes shape.
It is not enough that we expose AI systems to a ‘more accurate’ view of history; we must also draw the right lessons from history if we are to avoid repeating the mistakes and injustices of the past,” Santow said.
Exposure of AI to better feedstock is a difficult topic because, in large part, it assumes that the quality of inputs will self-correct problematic outputs. Yeah nah.

“Throughout history, we have built machines that are born like Venus — fully formed. When a car rolls off the production line, all it needs is a twist of a key or the press of a button, and it will work as intended. This is not true of AI,” Santow argued.

“AI systems start as ignorant as a newborn — perhaps even more so. A baby will search for its mother’s breast even before the baby can see. An AI system possesses none of a baby’s genetic instincts. Nothing can be assumed. All knowledge must be learned. The process of teaching an AI system — known as ‘machine learning’ — involves exposing the machine to our world.”

There’s a further problem, too, and it’s a systemic one. As internet pioneers like Vint Cerf noted, the great tech behemoth has trouble retaining both memory and history.

“The regime that should be in place [is] one in which old software is preserved; hardware can be emulated in the files so we can run old operating systems and old software so we can actually do something with the digital objects that have been captured and stored,” Cerf said in 2018.

“Think of all the papers we read now, especially academic papers that have URL references. Think about what happens 10, 20, 50 years from now when those don’t resolve anymore because the domain names were abandoned or someone forgot to pay the rent.”

That’s now happening.

But the warnings are at least a decade old.






I am wary of the about-face in my thinking on Large Language Models. Right through my time in lit academia, I was unusually positive about LLM and its uses in my field. I do not have the skillset, for instance, to work with or for Digipal, but I find their stuff REALLY COOL. It was something of a frustration to my mentors (and me, tbh) that the kind of literary scholarship I wanted to do just... didn't call for these kinds of digital tools. Even in the literary composition realm - while I encountered some truly un-informed uses of LMMs - I was significantly more willing than most literature scholars to believe that LLM linguistics could make findings as to authorship, at least on a "more likely than not" level.

In part, that is because in first-year English I was assigned some readings (in a sub-unit module on functional linguistics for literary studies) which looked at how forensic linguistics, focused not only on easily-identifiable dialect words but on patterns of "filler" words and sentence structure, had demonstrated throughout the 90s that Australian police were influencing interview records, particularly from Indigenous subjects, in ways which ranged from outright fabrication to shaping/skewing interview reports.** The case made by pragmatics is that individual speakers' uses of function words, sentence structure, etc, are shaped by context (e.g. are you or are you not a policeman), but can also, with sufficient corpus, be distinguished among individuals. I don't really see any reason to suppose that Billy Shakes is any more unique than the wrongfully convicted Mr Kelvin Condren, or that imitators of/collaborators with Billy Shakes would be less detectable to an algorithm than false police reports. Oh, there are other factors - can't use punctuation for early modern texts, because the printers did that part; medieval texts have layers of author, scribe, oral retellings and subsequent copyings, etc. I've never yet encountered such an identification that I'd hang my hat on as absolutely conclusive out of nowhere, but such studies never come out of nowhere and texts always have some context you can look at. Likely enough to work with? Sure.

I am very wary, therefore, of my current tendency to reskeet dunkings upon AI, sweeping statements about the "word association machine", etc. There are, in addition to fascinating historical uses of LLMs, very important practical ones! I would like to see those continue and be improved upon!***

I don't think I'm 100% wrong about generative LLMs producing "slop" at the moment, that's pretty clear. But I am concerned that I'm plugged in to a social media feed of academics and wonks who not only see all the current problems but also seem to be unaware of or walking back on the previously attested promising uses. So. I am not recirculating nearly as much as I read, and I am trying to weight my reading via sources like The Mandarin, rather than via Academics Despairing or other versions of the BlueSky Hot Take mill.

The article above says that Santow is "positive about AI". I rather wish it had covered what Santow is positive about, because from what they've quoted from him as to the things to be wary of, he seems to have a nuanced grip on things.

* A stand-out was a linguist using the out-of-copyright editions in the Corpus of Middle English Prose and Verse, apparently unaware how much editorial shaping went into them, or that they are not at all up-to-date, or, upon quizzing by one of my colleagues, that the poetic texts might predate the manuscripts and differ significantly from spoken English at the time of the manuscript composition while also not reflecting spoken English of the putative poem composition date.

** I don't have my 2005 syllabi to hand anymore, more fool me. I do not think that the article we were given was Diana Eades, "The case for Condren: Aboriginal English, pragmatics and the law", Journal of Pragmatics 20.2 (1993) 141-162, but it definitely cited that article and Condren's case. Condren is a QLD case and I think the article I read was about a cohort of WA police transcripts - but that article I just cited is useful in that it has a good-enough overview in the unpaywalled abstract to illustrate my point.

*** For instance, PHREDSS, the system which monitors presentations to NSW emergency departments and produces a read-out with alerts of Public Health Interest, is an LLM. You can find a fairly readable evaluation of its use in regional NSW in relation to large gatherings and public health disaster response on the Department of Health and Aging's website. What I know from my Sources in stats is that the surveilance model is designed specifically for how emergency departments use language and record presentations, and then even the simplest-seeming uses for public health are looked at by experts in both this kind of stats, and epidemology.
The example I was given by my Sources was "pneumonia": in 2020, every day our good friend PHREDSS delivered unto the NSW government its ED data, tagged by presenting condition and location. Pneumonia was a leading indicator for COVID-19 at the time. However, someone has to check and weed out the "person didn't actually drown but they got water on the lungs" kind of pneumonia. (Given what I now know about the frequency of aspiration risks in the elderly and people with chronic illnesses, it's not going to be the surfing accidents that are the main reason you need a human to look at it: it's that if you get a statistical spike in pneumonia admissions from aged care homes in X region, you could be looking at a viral outbreak or you could be looking at some systemic failure of care leading to a whole bunch of elderly people aspirating and it not being addressed appropriately, leading to pneumonia.) This 2015 article looks at the ED-side data capture problems relating to "alcohol syndrome", and whether such data has "positive predictive" value for public health, if this sort of thing tickles your brain.
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)
[personal profile] azurelunatic
The new dryer is just fine, except the top is ever so slightly slanted in a way that makes it a bad place to set your dryer balls.

Have I mentioned that especially after Colonoscopy Week I've had more trouble than usual walking? I've been using my cane inside the house for the first time in quite a while, and I'm limited in how much I can carry without (more) pain. It sucks. Belovedest has set up the short ramp against the shortest outside stairs, and while going up it is Bad, going up the stairs without it is Worse. (Both outside doors have stairs.)

I wasn't available to assist with any of the Thanksgiving cooking. Belovedest did it themselves! Including: turkey, the epic tray of dressing, biscuits from the mix, and instant potatoes made the way that erases the taste of Box. (There was also salad available, but there's quite a bit of vegetable in the sausage-cornbread dressing.)

Today we had some roof inspectors. The inspection's free; the quote for fixing things up is *sigh* very much not free.

Update [me, health]

Nov. 28th, 2025 04:54 pm
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[personal profile] siderea
Very shortly after I posted my recent request for pointers on 3D printing education – a request which was occasioned by my getting excited over my new and improved typing capability courtesy of my new NocFree ergonomic keyboard and wanting to make it a peripheral – my shoulder/back went *spung* in the location and way I had had a repetitive strain injury a decade+ previously.

*le sigh*

I'm back to writing ("writing") slowly and miserably by dictation, because all of my other forms of data entry aggravate this RSI. (This explains how rambly and poorly organized the previous post was and this one too will be.)

I'm going to try to debug my ergonomics, but it remains to be seen whether I can resume typing.

Thanksgiving came at an opportune time, because it took me away from computers for a day. But I had wanted to get another post out before the end of the month. We'll see what happens.

So, uh, I had been going to post about how I have worked back up to something like 80%, maybe 90%, of my keyboard fluency on the NocFree. Eit.

Thanksgiving dinner

Nov. 28th, 2025 09:06 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

A little while ago [personal profile] angelofthenorth had offered to cook a thanksgiving dinner with some of my usual recipes.

Fuck thanksgiving as a concept, obviously, but an excuse for a fancy meal is always welcome.

So I found the handwritten notes-to-self that constitute my versions of pumpkin pie and scalloped corn, and she made those tonight with a delicious veggie haggis, roast new potatoes, turnips, carrots and parsnips, and what would've been mashed swede except we didn't mash it.

I helped, doing chores like chopping the pumpkin and washing dishes. It was fun. At one point when I was drying a mixing bowl and about to put it away, she said "we make a good team!" That was nice to hear!

Everything was delicious. It's so annoying that I stull have a headache that has come and gone all day, because I have no spoons to say more.

kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

Spotted in today's book, with just as much of a medical theme as you might reasonably expect:

... biopsy-
chosocial...

siderea: (Default)
[personal profile] siderea
I see that I didn't note last year's Annual Introverts Liberation Feast. Perhaps I wrote a draft that I never got around to posting. It was something of a grueling deathmarch. Because my physical disability makes me largely unable to participate in food prep or cleaning, it almost entirely falls on Mr B to do, and he is already doing something like 99% of the household chores, so both of us wind up up against our physical limits doing Thanksgiving dinner.

But the thing is, part of the reason we do Thanksgiving dinner ourselves to begin with, is we manage the labor of keeping ourselves fed through meal prepping. And I really love Thanksgiving dinner as a meal. So preparing a Thanksgiving dinner that feeds 16 allows us to have a nice Thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving, and then allows us to each have a prepared Thanksgiving dinner every day for another seven days. So this is actually one part family tradition, seven parts meal prep for the following week, and one part getting homemade stock from the carcass and weeks of subsequent soups. If we didn't do Thanksgiving, we'd still have to figure out something to cook for dinners for the week.
The problem is the differential in effort with a regular batch cook.

So this year for Thanksgiving, I proposed, to make it more humane, we avail ourselves of one of the many local prepared to-go Thanksgiving dinner options, where you just have to reheat the food.

We decided to go with a local barbecue joint that offered a smoked turkey. It came in only two sizes: breast only, which was too small for us, and a whole 14 to 16 lb turkey, which is too large, but too large being better than too small, that's what we got.
We also bought their mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and – new to our table this year – baked macaroni and cheese. Also two pints of their gravy, which turned out to be spectacularly good. We also got a pan of their cornbread (also new to our Thanksgiving spread), for which they are justly famous; bizarrely, they left the cornbread off their Thanksgiving menu, but proved happy to add it to our order from the regular catering menu when we called it in.

We used canned sweet potatoes in syrup and grocery store cubed stuffing (Pepperidge Farm). The sweet potatoes were fine but as is traditional I had a disaster which coated half the kitchen in sugar syrup. The stuffing was... adequate. Our big compromise to save ourselves labor was that we didn't do the big stuffing production with the chopped and sauteed fresh veggies. The place we got the prepared sides has a stuffing but it's a cornbread stuffing, which is not the bread cube version I prefer. We did add dried sage to it.

Reheating the wholly cooked smoked turkey did not go great. We followed the vendor's instructions – leave it wrapped in foil, put two cups of water in a bottom of the roasting pan, 300° F for two hours to get the breast meat to 165° F – which turned out to be in Mr B's words, "delusional". We used a pair of probe thermometers with wireless monitor, one in the thigh and one in the breast, and an oven thermometer to make sure the oven was behaving. The oven was flawless. The temperature in the thigh quickly spiked up while the breast heated slowly, such that by an hour in, there was a 50° F difference in temperature between the two. The thigh reached 165 in about 2 and 1/2 hours, at which point the breast was 117 ° F. By my calculations, given how far it had gotten in 2.5 hrs, at that temperature we'd need another hour and a half to get the whole bird up to 165° F (for a grand total of 4 hours) at which point the drumsticks would probably be shoe leather.

There was a brief moment of despair while we entertained heating the turkey for another hour and a half, but then decided to just have dark meat for Thanksgiving.

The turkey turned out to be 1) delicious and 2) enormous. Mr B carved at the rest of the bird for our meal prep and picked the carcass; I broke the carcass and other remains into three batches this year. There is going to be so much soup.

Mr B had the brilliant idea to portion the sides leftovers into the meal prep boxes before the dinner, so we dispensed two servings of each side into the casseroles we were going to warm them in, and portioned out the rest.

I had the brilliant idea of checking the weather and realizing we could use the porch as an auxiliary fridge for all the sides we had sitting there in the crockery waiting for the tardy turkey to be done so they could go in the oven. Also it was wine degrees Fahrenheit out, so that worked great too.

For beverages, Mr B had a beer, and I had iced tea and a glass of wine. Happily, the packie near the caterer's 1) has introduced online shopping for easy pickup, and 2) amazingly, had a wine I have been looking for for something like 20 years, a Sardegnan white called Aragosta, to which I was introduced to by the late lamented Maurizio's in Boston's North End. Why the wine is called "lobster" I do not know, but it is lovely. The online shopping did not work so happily; when we placed the order the day before (Tuesday), we promptly got the email saying that our order was received, but it wasn't placed until we received the confirmation email. Forty minutes before pick up time (Wednesday), since we still hadn't received a confirmation email, Mr B called in and received a well rehearsed apology and explanation that there was a problem with their new website's credit card integration, so orders weren't actually being charged correctly, but to come on down and they would have the order ready for payment at the register.

As is our custom, we also got savory croissants for lunch/breakfast while cooking from the same bakery we also get dessert. As is also our custom, we ate too much Thanksgiving dinner to have room for dessert, and we'll probably eat it tomorrow.

The smoked turkey meat (at least the dark meat) was delicious. I confess I was a little disappointed with the skin. I'm not a huge skin fan in general, but I was hoping the smoked skin would be delicious. But there was some sort of rub on it that had charred in the smoking process, and I don't like the taste of char.

The reason the turkeys I cook wind up so much moister than apparently everybody else's – I've never managed to succeed at making pan gravy, for the simple reason I've never had enough juice in the pan to make gravy, because all the juice is still in the bird – is that I don't care enough about the skin to bother trying to crisp it. There really is a trade-off between moistness of the meat and crispness of the skin, and I'm firmly of the opinion that you can sacrifice the skin in favor of the meat. The skin on this turkey was perfectly crisped all over and whoever had put the rub on it managed to do an astoundingly good job of applying it evenly. It was a completely wasted effort from my point of view, and I'm not surprised that the turkey we got wound up a bit on the dry side.

That said the smokiness was great. I thought maybe, given how strongly flavored the gravy was, it would overpower the smokiness of the meat, but that was not the case and they harmonized really nicely.

The instructions come with a very important warning that the meat is supposed to be that color: pink. It's really quite alarming if you don't know to expect it, I'm sure. You're not normally supposed to serve poultry that color. But the instructions explain in large letters that it is that color because of the smoking process, and it is in fact completely cooked and safe to eat.

(It belatedly occurs to me to wonder whether that pink is actually from the smoke, or whether they treated it with nitrates. You know, what makes bacon pink.)

The cavity was stuffed with oranges and lemons and a bouquet garni, which was a bit of a hassle to clean out of the carcass for its future use as stock.

The green bean casserole was fine. It's not as good as ours, but then we didn't have to cook it. The mac and cheese was really nice; it would never have occurred to me to put rosemary on the top, but that worked really well. The mashed potatoes were very nice mashed potatoes, and the renown cornbread was even better mopping up the gravy.

The best cranberry sauce remains the kind that stands under its own power, is shaped like the can it came in, and is perfectly homogeneous in its texture.

We aimed to get the bird in the oven at 3:00 p.m. (given that the instructions said 2 hours) with the aim of dinner hitting the table at 6:00 p.m. We had a bit of a delay getting the probe thermometers set up and debugged (note to self: make sure they're plugged all the way in) so the bird went in around 3:15 p.m. At 5:15 p.m. no part of the bird was ready. Around 5:45 p.m. the drumsticks reached 165° F, and we realized the majority of it was in not going to get there anytime in the near future. At this point all the sides had been sitting on the counter waiting to go into the oven for over a half an hour, so we decided to put them outside to keep while we figured out what we were going to do. We decided to give it a little more time in the oven, and to use that time to portion the sides into the meal prep boxes. Then we brought the casseroles back inside, pulled the bird from the oven and set it to rest, and put the casseroles in the oven. We microwaved the three things that needed microwaving (the stuffing, which we had prepared on the stove top, and was sitting there getting cold, the gravy, and at the last moment the cornbread). After 10 minutes of resting the turkey, we turned the oven off, leaving the casseroles inside to stay warm, and disassembled the drumsticks. Then we served dinner.

After dinner, all ("all") we had to do was cleaning dishes (mostly cycling the dishwasher) and disassembling the turkey (looks like we'll be good for approximately 72 servings of soup), because the meal prep portioning was mostly done. We still have to portion the turkey and the gravy into the meal prep boxes, but that can wait until tomorrow. Likewise cleaning the kitchen can wait until tomorrow. This means we were done before 9:00 p.m. That has not always been the case.

Getting the cooked turkey and prepared sides saved us some work day of (and considerably more work typically done in advance – the green bean casserole, the vegetable sauté that goes into the stuffing) but not perhaps as much as we hoped.

Turns out here's not a lot of time difference between roasting a turkey in the oven and rewarming one. OTOH, we didn't have to wrestle with the raw bird. Also, because we weren't trying to do in-bird stuffing, that's something we just didn't have to deal with. OTOOH, smoked turkey.

But it was still plenty of work. Maybe a better option is roasting regular turkey unstuffed and shaking the effort loose to make green bean casserole and baked stuffing ourselves a day or two ahead. We were already getting commercially made mashed potatoes. It would certainly be cheaper. OTOOH, smoked turkey.

This was our first year rewarming sides in the oven. We usually try to do the microwave, and that proves a bottleneck. This time we used our casserole dishes to simultaneously rewarm four sides, and it was great. Next time we try this approach, something that doesn't slosh as much as the sweet potatoes in syrup goes in the casserole without a lid.

But I think maybe as a good alternative, if we're going to portion sides for meal prep before we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner, we might as well just make up two plates, and microwave them in series, instead of troubling with the individual casseroles. This does result in our losing our option for getting seconds, but we never exercise it, and maybe some year we will even have Thanksgiving dessert on the same day that we eat Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanksgiving dinner is cooking

Nov. 27th, 2025 03:15 pm
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[personal profile] conuly
I put my chicken in the oven and fried up the chicken skins and - listen, I gotta say, of all the food items I've tried because I read about them, fried chicken skins are fucking amazing. I don't mind saying that they are, hands down, the most brilliant thing Jews have contributed to the world, and I do hope my various Jewish friends take that in the spirit it's intended, because omg. I don't care if I find out later that you guys invented the wheel, this is better. I am very thankful.

Anyway, we've got chicken, creamed spinach, possibly creamed corn, maybe beets of some sort, maybe couscous, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes (with marshmallows, contributed by a guest), stuffing, cornbread, cranberry sauce, and pies. I'm debating making some soup as well, buuuuuuut I think we may have enough food and not enough bowls. Oh, and there's green beans. Oh, and brussels sprouts and a salad.

(Maybe I should've made baked beans? I wonder if I have time to make baked beans. Oh, but the chicken is in the oven. Hm. Can you make not-baked baked beans? Is that a thing?)

Photo cross-post

Nov. 27th, 2025 01:50 pm
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[personal profile] andrewducker


It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
Original is here on Pixelfed.scot.

Pluribus 1.05

Nov. 27th, 2025 11:43 am
selenak: (Jimmy and Kim)
[personal profile] selenak
In which the Hive just needs space, okay?

Figures it would use the voice of Howard Hamlin to demand it… )
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

About 48 hours after stepping down from my previous volunteer position, I've as-formally-as-I'm-going-to taken up a new one.

The queer club I've written about a bunch, where I've made friends and felt part of a community again in a way that was so desperately needed and so good for me after The Other Events of March 2020, had been run by two people out of the goodness of their heart and very little else about two and a half years ago. It was only this summer that they started saying it'd be nice to have a little group of people to help do things like arrive early, set up the room we rent in the community center and stuff like that, and in the last few months a dozen or so of us have done various things (someone procures tea and biscuits, someone knows the code to get in, I am good at setting out tables and chairs and stacking them away again neatly at the end of the evening...)

It's reached the point where our two original organizers want to step back entirely from running things and just be regular attendees of the club, and a handful of us have offered to do that. So tonight those two and four of us had a video meeting for them to share the details of how to book the room, what the password is for the e-mail account, one of us taking over looking after the money, all that kind of stuff. Also when is the Christmas party going to be.

Of course I took notes and of course I tidied them up and circulated them immediately after the meeting.

For all I adore the two founders, I don't begrudge them their break before they can come back and make use of their projects and ideas because they don't have to run up every month and look after all the admin and stuff.

I love the vibe of this, everyone's happy to pitch in. At the Christmas party someone's going to teach us BSL "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" and we're going to wear cozy cardigans and have home-baked treats and maybe mulled apple cider [USian meaning of the word, it's a sober space too which is also great]. Onward and upward, queer club!

End of an era

Nov. 25th, 2025 11:23 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

I was so busy talking about other things yesterday that I entirely missed something I wanted to say.

It's been something like three and a half years...yes I just went and checked, March 2022, I know it wasn't long before I got offered the job I now have (which was May of that year) because it was important that I was still so-underemployed-I-basically-unemployed, pretty much working as a favor to the friends I was working for, and really struggling with job hunting and interviews.

That chance meeting with someone who I got along with so well and who was so complimentary to me meant so much.

Things quickly got complicated and then the rest of my life got more complicated -- I remember having phone calls about the CEO recruitment while I was in Bournemouth for the work conference that I basically abandoned halfway through to deal with the ticket office closure campaign, still the biggest thing I've dealt with at work, and I'd been there barely a year at the time.

I did present at the board and staff away day that summer about EDI; amid people who could really do finance and governance and stuff I felt like such a lightweight with my focus on inclusivity and lived experience and all that, but everyone was supportive and flattering about absolutely everything that I did as a member of that board of trustees. I learned a hell of a lot -- including getting my first experience of being on the other side of a job interview, so soon after I was lambasting them, which was really interesting and did end up useful at work where I've been part of a few recruiting processes since.

Around the new year, with the sad loss of Gary and the impending Trump doom and the potential to lose my job or face a much-changed workplace and my grandma in hospice care, I reached a point where something had to give and it turned out to be this. I e-mailed the new CEO and said I thought I'd have to step down. She was very kind and said that if I could hang on until the end of my term, which them understanding my reduced capacity, it'd make various things easier for them. Since this meant probably no more than attending a few online meetings and the occasional e-mail, I said I was happy to give it a try. I did make an attempt to meet them on this summer's away day, as I was in London that day anyway for work, but it didn't end up happening and that was fine.

Monday was the AGM at which I and the long-time treasurer stepped down: our terms had ended, his job was more demanding now, and I was sad to go but feeling sufficiently battered by the year that I know I made the right decision; I already feel bad that I wasn't able to give this more time and attention in 2025. The outgoing treasurer said his little piece and left the Teams meeting, and then I quickly burbled something about how much this has meant to me, how much I appreciated having been brought in (sadly the person who did so has not been able to be part of the organisation for some time themselves, so they were not able to hear me say this) and how much of a difference it had made to my

They also got me a free Audible credit as a leaving present, which is a perfect gift for me in that I like audiobooks, maybe not enough to faff around setting up an Amazon account (I had shared Andrew's, back in the day, so already lost access to years of Audible subscription that way, sigh), but the thought really does count. When I wrote back to the CEO to thank her/everyone for it, she replied not only being gracious about that but also saying "I was touched by what you said about the impact for you of becoming a trustee and wondered if you might be willing to write a paragraph that we might use when we’re recruiting trustees again or for our Trustees report? It would be great to capture as a quote if that’s possible?"

Yeah, I am very happy to write them a paragraph. Least I can do.

When Support Feels Like Suspicion

Nov. 26th, 2025 08:13 pm
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[personal profile] hmmm_tea

Universal Credit have asked for copies of our bank statements again. I understand these checks are supposed to be random, but the last time it happened the person dealing with it said it was unusual to have them so close together. They couldn’t give any guarantees, of course, but suggested it would probably be longer before we were asked again. Yet here we are…

Everything I’ve declared is accurate, so it’s not a major issue in that sense. Still, having someone go through all your bank transactions for the past few months feels strangely invasive. I suspect it’s the fluctuating nature of my freelance income that flags us up in whatever algorithm they use. Even so, it’s hard not to shake the feeling that you’re being viewed as inherently untrustworthy.

I never particularly wanted to rely on Universal Credit to cover the bills, but being a parent to a child who needs a lot of attention and a full-time carer to a disabled partner made it clear that my previous work wasn’t sustainable. Giving up full-time employment was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, and I genuinely don’t think I had another option at the time. Unfortunately, the political rhetoric around the benefits system often seems designed to paint anyone who needs support as somehow “lesser” than “normal hard-working people,” which doesn’t help.

From speaking with professionals, I’ve learned that most people in my situation wouldn’t try to work at all - it’s far from easy to do. I was lucky enough to have some options that fit around everything else, so I chose to keep working in some capacity. Now that my caring responsibilities are coming to an end, I’m glad I did - it should make returning to employment easier. Ironically, though, the care I’ve been providing for free for years will now have to be replaced by services funded by social care. It’s not exactly a saving for the state, but it comes from a different pot of money, and the amount is so small in the grand scheme of things I guess it's likely that won’t even register in the statistics they use.

 

We’re not on the smallest possible Universal Credit payment, but finances are still extremely tight. I have enormous respect for anyone managing on just the basic allowance - it must require remarkable budgeting. I genuinely don’t understand the narrative, pushed by parts of the media and some politicians, that people choose to claim this.