Heffers Superhero Session 1 (Part 2)

[jack]

Rusty: I check the computers. Can I access a general layout of the facility?
GM: Sure.
GM: Here's the main rooms, as I planned them.
GM: The basement is marked SECRET
Vapourwave: What's the most direct way there?
Vapourwave: As I'm effectively invulnerable in intangible form, I'll turn into gas and float straight there.
GM: OK.
GM: Also *rolls* *rolls*
GM: Previously unbeknownst to you all, a roaming blob monster from the extradimensional plane of custard was lurking on the ceiling and drops on Rusty as he pokes at the computer.[2]
GM: Rusty, fail a dex save.
Rusty: Don't you mean, "make a dex save"?
Rusty: Damn. Never mind.
GM: The blob partially engulfs you and begins to lightly digest you.
Players: Like a gelatinous cube?
GM: Yes, EXACTLY like a gelatinous cube.
GM: Stat for stat.
GM: Oh yeah, everyone roll initiative.
GM: Vapourwave, what are you doing?
Vapourwave: I'm still on my way downstairs. You three can handle a bit of custard, right?
GM: OK, carry on. We'll resolve the combat and then switch back to what you're doing in the meantime.[3]
GM: Although the act of separating the party into multiple independent groups can be unfortunate, both IC tactically and OOC logistically, I wish there was a pithy aphorism about that.
Players: *rolls a 10* Does that hit?
GM: Yes.
Players: *Rolls a 7* I guess that's too much to hope for?
GM: It's a big blob. It's REALLY easy to hit.
Players: Is it dead yet?
GM: No. Rusty, you doing ok there.
Rusty: Ehh *wiggle hand gesture*
Weird: Furious rebuke! Wait, I need to choose damage type. Does that thing have any elemental vulnerabilities?
GM: I don't think so. Does the original ooze?
Players: Let me look that up.
GM: OK, well, roll for it and we'll see.
GM: Who's up next?
Ninja: I was just looking up...
GM: (tongue in cheek) Too late. It doesn't.
Ninja: Ah, looks like the cube doesn't anyway.
Weird: Maybe lightning?
GM: No. Also, it's physically touching Rusty, that's the worst idea I've ever heard.
Weird: OK, what if I use prestidigitation to create a really bad smell inside it, will it be put off?
GM: OK, no, THAT is the worst idea I ever heard.
Players: OK, ok, we keep doing damage.
Players: This thing is a bag of hit points.
GM: Yeah, impossible to miss but takes a while to kill.
GM: Honestly the stats are straight out of the DMG, it's not THAT tough. Just keep rolling, it'll still only take a couple of rounds.
GM: Wait till you find the monsters where I accidentally made their attacks too strong!
GM: Uh, pretend I didn't say that.
Players: I rolled a two. Uh...?
GM: Err, ok, funny thing. I hadn't realised when I calculated your attack bonuses and used the cube's armour class, that it was LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE for you to miss.
Ninja: Hii-ya! Kiyai! Kwa-THWACK!
Ninja: *rolls a 1*
GM: I retract my previous statement.
Rusty: I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE SUPPORT VAN, WHY DID I COME IN HERE AND GET ATTACKED BY CUSTARD MONSTERS?
GM: Anyway, with that all taken care of, let's switch to Vapourwave for a moment.
Vapourwave: I'm in the test lab, telling some guards not to worry. I move straight on to the basement.
Vapourwave: Possibly by dumb-waiter?
GM: OK, everyone else.
Players: We catch up with Vapourwave.
GM: *phew*
GM: But you can't just wave your hands and do that, ok? You're going through the storeroom?
Rusty: The mech is. I did manage to fix it right?
GM: Sure.
Rusty: The mech is. I'm not.
GM: OK. So, the mech, the ninja, and the wizard are going through the store room?
Players: Yes.
Rusty: But I'll sweep all that stuff on the floor out of the way before the mech goes in.
GM: GOOD call.
GM: I'll assume you can do that without risking screwing it up.
Rusty: *whistles* *mimes sweeping*
Rusty: I worked in a mad science lab since I was a boy. I've a LOT of practice.
GM: (thinks) OK, that's quite good, it lets vapourwave see the next room before everyone reconvenes
GM: (thinks) And gives an opportunity for another random encounter here *rolls* *rolls*
GM: As you're sweeping, some of you see a shady looking character sneak down the stairs and try to get out of the building.
Players: We grab him.
GM: He's a senior minion. He's not officially called this, but in my notes, I call him "The Knave of Hearts"
GM: He offers you a sweet.
Ninja: I grab it and thrust it into his mouth.
GM: Uh... ok.
GM: But good read of character there.
GM: He chokes a little, and tries to crawl away.
Players: We ask him where the Queen of Hearts notes' might be.
GM: *Describes hidden safe in test lab*
GM: He tries to crawl away again.
Ninja: I shake him upside-down.
GM: Uh... ok.
GM: But GOOD read of character.
GM: A leather-bound book full of evil recipes falls out of his coat.
GM: Along with a bag of sweets which roll around on the floor.
GM & Players: FIRST OBJECTIVE COMPLETE!
Players: We deliver him to the police.
Players: And we join Vapourwave at last.
GM: OK, while that was going on, Vapourwave, you went into the basement.
GM: It's a big empty room with rows of force-field cells down each side, containing, well, all the baking related experiments you haven't randomly run into yet which is, *checks note* I guess all of them.
GM: Marzipan tigers.
GM: Current-cake scorpion plus baby.
GM: Gin and tonic golem.
GM: Flying faerie-cakes.
GM: Current-cake dogs.
GM: A pedestal with an intensely luxurious chocolate gateaux cake set on.
Players: I bet THAT's the threat to the city.
GM: Rows of cakes on trays and baking experiments.
GM: And, in the last cell, an extra-dimensional portal. You faintly hear mystical chanting coming from the other side.
Players: OK, I bet THAT'S the threat to the city.
GM: Good call.
GM: OK, about this point, the guards from the kitchen, along with the large fruitcake golem, have followed vapourwave down. They can't really hurt you. But now the rest of the party arrive behind them.
Players: It's ok, guards, let us handle this! We're supervillains the Queen of Hearts keeps on staff to handle interlopers like that hero *points at vapourwave*
GM: OK, make some social rolls.
GM: OK, the guards say, "Thank goodness! I didn't even know we HAD any other superpowers on staff."
GM: They level their guns at Vapourwave and say, "now it's six to one, give it up, hero!"
Players: Uh, urgent reports from, uh, the very far part of the building, uh, we've got it under control here, please go take care of that.
GM: OK, make some MORE social rolls... OK then!
GM: Apparently that was convincing. The guards hurry upstairs to the executive suite on the top floor.
GM: They leave the fruitcake golem, though, although it's not very bright, it probably won't doubt anything you tell it.
Ninja: I kept one of the "eat me" cakes.
Ninja: I thrust it into its mouth!
Ninja: We established I can do that, right?
GM: Uh... ok. There's a *small* fruitcake golem.
GM: It's still, like, a threat though if it comes to a fight.
Players: Vapourwave, can you... microwave it to death?
Vapourwave: That's LIGHT. I make SOUND.
Vapourwave: I know we've been going very comnic-book-y on the science, but...
GM: Look, you can... resonate it with your sound attack if you want. I'll give you double damage.
Vapourwave: OK. *clasps hands dramatically round it's head and does the Bass Thump*
GM: Roll!
Vapourwave: OK, crit! 2d6, doubled, doubled again, that's... 8d6 plus... Total about 50?
GM: ...nice.
GM: OK, it veritably explodes.
GM: And I want you to remember, that when I wrote this bit in my notes, I didn't expect it to be quadrupled.
GM: As its injured, gouts of superheated brandy erupt onto everyone standing next to it.
GM: Which DEFINITELY includes you.
GM: And the mech.
GM: And the ninja.
GM: I guess the wizard was looking at the portal at the far end of the room.
GM: Dex save.
Ninja: I sway gracefully out of the way. For the tenth time this session.
GM: Vapourwave, how many hit points do you have at the moment?
Vapourwave: ...two.
GM: Actually, make that *roll* *roll* *roll* *roll* *roll* *roll* *roll* *roll* Um, minus fifty.
GM: What was your starting total?
Vapourwave: Less than half that by a bit.
GM: OK, well, we're not using permadeath rules on massive damage.
GM: And the mech was pretty tough, but...
Rusty: Not that tough, no.
GM: I love having a target I can damage without feeling at all guilty.
GM & Party: OK, lets take a break here to heal up. Vapourwave will slowly reconstitute himself and Rusty activates the mech's repair sequences.
Party: I hope these doors don't all fail at once for some reason and all the experiments attack us at once.
Rusty: I can override them.
Party: You weren't hoping for that, were you, GM?
GM: No comment.

[2] I did use random encounters, not with RANDOM stuff, but with stuff that would naturally be moving about the base, like escaped experiments, minions and allies scrambling to escape or destroy evidence, and extra-dimensional interlopers. Whenever I put *roll* *roll* it really was an encounter that came up randomly, even though it felt very natural, not like an arbitrary wandering monster with no connection to the setting.

[3] In the write-up I'm putting a lot of complaints about splitting the party because it's funny, and I may have made a joke about it at the table, but actually, it really kept things moving, and even though the rest of the party and Vapourwave did a little by themselves before regrouping, I think everyone got a reasonable amount of attention and nothing went badly wrong by it, partly because I and the players knew to avoid potential pitfalls, and partly because the setting let me handwave everyone else catching up, and partly because I'd deliberately given everyone earpiece radios. And in fact, I'm really grateful for my players to take initiative to ACT, and not always just waiting until a decision was presented to them.