When I was at home we found some boxes full of nostalgia stuff, mainly photos. Including, this is sweet and I assume my parents won't mind my sharing, the shopping list dad was carrying which first led to him meeting mum.
But mainly there were pictures, including several of me as a litte guy. I looked really happy, which made me think. Firstly, I caveated: I was by no means always happy, those were just the photos we kept :) And I was a long way from perfect. But there
were a fair number of aspects to my character then that I've lost and it would be nicer to have.
This list wouldn't completely change me into a person I am inside, or would like to be, but it would go some way towards it, and it's all in my power.
1. Be happy. Laugh. Don't be afraid to enjoy things and look forward to things, and if you enjoy something, plan for it again. The wait is worth it.
2. Be open with people. If I want to know something about them, ask: after all, they will want to talk about themselves. Don't be afraid to talk about me, rather than just reciting amusing anecdotes. Invite people to things because I want to, without making a big deal of it. Speak to new people, and ask friends of friends who they are. Avoiding that is an entirely ridiculous barrier.
3. Cut down the pedantic humour and innuendo. They're funny in moderation, but I can overdo it. Also, know when to leave a joke and move on, and don't be afraid to speak up when someone else should too.
4. Don't talk around a subject so much. Don't make every compliment or cricism I make of myself or others with doubletalk a joke to give it deniability (though it's a useful technique which should be used *often*).
5. There's more to humour than being negative. Sometimes self- or other-deprecation can be funny, but there should be a lot of positive stuff too, for what people hear in jokes does become belief.
6. Learn things that are interesting to learn.
7. If I'm interested in girl, say so, or show so. I've always find it hard to believe, but everyone *is* flattered. And don't necessarily apologise at the first rejection; pursuit *can* be romantic, I shouldn't curb myself *entirely*, while stopping far short of stalking :) OTOH, let go when someone plainly isn't interested.
8. Be open about my feelings with friends and family. Anything that gets bottled up (though there isn't much at the moment) never is very bad at all, so it's much healthier to make it known, and it makes for more interesting conversations too.
9. I don't have to (a) enjoy or (b) not enjoy music and jogging, etc. I can do them when I want and not when I don't. People often dismiss things they don't/can't/won't do, rather than admit that they know very little and would be willing to learn. But that's false wisdom: we'd be pretending to have understood and rejected, while in fact just not learnt, better to admit and cure ignorance.
10. OK, not all of those were things I used to do, but I think the list does make sense as a whole. And when I've done them I'll be a man :) Though I think I went through my true epiphany to manhood this morning: I looked at a near 6' wide flat TV and said not "Bah. Sad. Who'd pay £n000 for that?" but "Ooooh! Shiny! Want!" Maybe I should get a £££ job after all :)
[1] If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs[2] and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowance for their doubting too;
...Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,a nd - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
--Kipling,
http://wikisource.org/wiki/If%e2%80%94[2] <BJ>OMG! Do they have behading in Thailand?</BJ>