Sun "shocker" (Obvious news)
Dec. 19th, 2006 01:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackThis morning a vast fireball spread potentially deadly radiation over more than half of the earth's surface. "We call it the daystar", said scientists, "but the tabloids have been calling it the 'sun'".
Many believe the sun to be harmless, or even a physical or good-luck related blessing, but not all are so positive. "It's not just the radiation," said Stella Brown, 32, of Walsall, West Midlands. "Just look at the rotational-reference-frame energy-plot. If your angular momentum isn't great enough -- and who knows when all those Chinesies might decide to jump at once -- the Earth's oscillations could take it right into the outer reaches of this interstellar object." Some say this is unlikely. "That's what they said about life evolving," replied Ms. Brown heatedly.
Many cults have formed worshing this object. Some have even claimed it has existed for a long time and "shelters" or "sustains" our lives here.
But in fact, close exposure would kill instantly, and only our atmosphere -- partially -- protects us from carcinogenic rays. Some tiny "bullets" emitted pass through even shielding rock, and though we are assured they pass right through our bodies too, as Ted Danson of "On top of a tall pole, west london" said "It doesn't sound healthy to me". The rays also break down vital molecules in our atmosphere, and slowly boil our seas.
Most scientists recommend an "ignoring" or "la-la-la" attitude to the dangers, but a celebrity, a man with glasses, and a frumpy good looking woman who once played a hemi-reputable scientist in a personal hygeine commercial all agreed something had to be done. "Launch some nuclear waste at it," said a young gentleman in the street. "That'll fuck it right up, get it out of our b**p faces." A friend advised him conservation of angular momentum would shield against the waste going anywhere close, and he said "Blimy, that atrocious astronomical anomoly thinks of everything don't it."
Several world leads with shakey minority governments urged a first strike on the object in a "Fire-v-fire" approach. "Just aim it straight up and it'll be bound to get there," called out one from his secure bunker surrounded by rioting protestors.
(With apologies to facebook group "Obvious news". The sad thing, is this isn't even an exagaration of some science reporting :))
Many believe the sun to be harmless, or even a physical or good-luck related blessing, but not all are so positive. "It's not just the radiation," said Stella Brown, 32, of Walsall, West Midlands. "Just look at the rotational-reference-frame energy-plot. If your angular momentum isn't great enough -- and who knows when all those Chinesies might decide to jump at once -- the Earth's oscillations could take it right into the outer reaches of this interstellar object." Some say this is unlikely. "That's what they said about life evolving," replied Ms. Brown heatedly.
Many cults have formed worshing this object. Some have even claimed it has existed for a long time and "shelters" or "sustains" our lives here.
But in fact, close exposure would kill instantly, and only our atmosphere -- partially -- protects us from carcinogenic rays. Some tiny "bullets" emitted pass through even shielding rock, and though we are assured they pass right through our bodies too, as Ted Danson of "On top of a tall pole, west london" said "It doesn't sound healthy to me". The rays also break down vital molecules in our atmosphere, and slowly boil our seas.
Most scientists recommend an "ignoring" or "la-la-la" attitude to the dangers, but a celebrity, a man with glasses, and a frumpy good looking woman who once played a hemi-reputable scientist in a personal hygeine commercial all agreed something had to be done. "Launch some nuclear waste at it," said a young gentleman in the street. "That'll fuck it right up, get it out of our b**p faces." A friend advised him conservation of angular momentum would shield against the waste going anywhere close, and he said "Blimy, that atrocious astronomical anomoly thinks of everything don't it."
Several world leads with shakey minority governments urged a first strike on the object in a "Fire-v-fire" approach. "Just aim it straight up and it'll be bound to get there," called out one from his secure bunker surrounded by rioting protestors.
(With apologies to facebook group "Obvious news". The sad thing, is this isn't even an exagaration of some science reporting :))