Date: 2013-10-16 12:02 pm (UTC)
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
From: [personal profile] redbird
That the same issue could arise in a same-sex as a mixed-sex wedding doesn't mean sexism is irrelevant. What if, say, it arose in a fraction of male-male weddings, because some significant number of men had grown up with the idea that their spouse would wear a ring and they wouldn't? A man wouldn't have to be conscious of "but I shouldn't wear a ring, I'm the man" to be asking his husband to do something he wouldn't do himself. If it's significantly less common in weddings between two women than between two men, sexism is a likely explanation.

I'd say that asking a partner/spouse/fiance to wear a ring while not wanting to do so oneself isn't inherently sexist or hypocritical: expecting it is likely to be both, or to involve other problematic relationship dynamics. (It could be from the shape of possessiveness that is "you're mine" but rejects "I'm yours/we are each other's.")
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