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jackThis week, things have been turning out pretty well, but have been difficult due to containing a lot of short-term deadlines and talking to people.
And due to having scheduled lots of stuff outside work I feel like I'm letting stuff I said I'd do slip, and I'm not quite sure when I will have time for that, which both makes me feel stressed, but also leads to things not getting done...
And I keep having temporary angst-flares, like I'm stressed for an hour but able to put it on the back burner until it evaporates again, not go into a spiral. Which I think means I'm handling things well, but I don't know for certain.
In brighter news, lots of things are still objectively going well. I'm re-establishing a pattern of getting to work by 9.15. And often leaving promptly, not the last second. I'm eating breakfast and doing other morning stuff every day. Lots of things I used to put off like doing washing are now easy to slot in when I have a few hours. I've mostly established a pattern of jogging at lunchtime which gives me more time in the evenings.
And significantly, now when I DO have an evening free, I can usually sensible tell if I'm tired to do much, in which case do low-decision stuff like housework, or if I want to catch up on things I said I'd do in which case I actually do, I don't just put it off to the last minute and do the things I absolutely need to. That's a pretty big win, because it means in order to get things done, I mostly only need to schedule free time, not to deal with a bunch of other impediments too.
But OTOH, I feel I levelled up in competence and time management -- at the same time as scheduling myself for doing more things. And I'm worried that's a pattern, I need to get ahead of the treadmill, and either level up faster or declare time-bankruptcy on some of the things I said I'd do, so I don't constantly level up to the point where I nearly have time to meet all my commitments, but never more than that. (As people say when they have their first child "I wish I'd known before I COULD make that much time for something in my life..." And again for their second child...)
And due to having scheduled lots of stuff outside work I feel like I'm letting stuff I said I'd do slip, and I'm not quite sure when I will have time for that, which both makes me feel stressed, but also leads to things not getting done...
And I keep having temporary angst-flares, like I'm stressed for an hour but able to put it on the back burner until it evaporates again, not go into a spiral. Which I think means I'm handling things well, but I don't know for certain.
In brighter news, lots of things are still objectively going well. I'm re-establishing a pattern of getting to work by 9.15. And often leaving promptly, not the last second. I'm eating breakfast and doing other morning stuff every day. Lots of things I used to put off like doing washing are now easy to slot in when I have a few hours. I've mostly established a pattern of jogging at lunchtime which gives me more time in the evenings.
And significantly, now when I DO have an evening free, I can usually sensible tell if I'm tired to do much, in which case do low-decision stuff like housework, or if I want to catch up on things I said I'd do in which case I actually do, I don't just put it off to the last minute and do the things I absolutely need to. That's a pretty big win, because it means in order to get things done, I mostly only need to schedule free time, not to deal with a bunch of other impediments too.
But OTOH, I feel I levelled up in competence and time management -- at the same time as scheduling myself for doing more things. And I'm worried that's a pattern, I need to get ahead of the treadmill, and either level up faster or declare time-bankruptcy on some of the things I said I'd do, so I don't constantly level up to the point where I nearly have time to meet all my commitments, but never more than that. (As people say when they have their first child "I wish I'd known before I COULD make that much time for something in my life..." And again for their second child...)