Tips for attending a Passover Seder
Apr. 7th, 2024 08:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackA Passover Seder is a ceremony built around a meal to commemorate the exodus from Egypt. It's traditionally the time of year for a big family gathering. Religious jews usually also have a community Seder on the second night of passover. I've only really been to seders with Rachel in a generally observant-reform-ashkenazi tradition so this won't be the same in all families.
In our family, there's typically an hour or two of ceremony, a large meal, some more ceremony, and fun singing (with animal noises). A bit longer at Rachel's birth family, a bit shorter at polycule Seder. The tone is a little bit serious but also gregarious and fun. Many families have smaller or token amount of service.
A big purpose of a seder is to show traditions to children and to guests, and guests invited and children running around is actively good, not an imposition. People will explain lots of things but but, everyone will muddle through following whatever they can manage, there's almost nothing where it matters to get it right, you just move on anyway.
Random background:
• "Seder" means "order", as in there's a traditional sequence laid out in a traditional book for how to teach the story of the exodus (but the sequence may not be obvious from the book as it includes a lot of extras)
• Several times you say a prayer a specific food. Typically the sequence is, it's handed around, everyone says a prayer together, then you go ahead and drink or eat it. There may also be water and nibbles to take any time. But once you start eating the meal you don't need to pause for any more blessings.
• There's a traditional four glasses of wine. These may be kosher wine (sweet, strange, pasteurised), normal wine, or grape juice. It's traditional to take anywhere between a sip and most-but-not-all of the glass. It's traditional to refill before each drink, even if only a token amount, and to refill for each other.
• Please ask questions about anything you're curious about, or "why is this bit in here?". It's a tradition and something people want you to do. Don't feel like you're intruding, it's polite to interrupt more than in ceremonies most people are used to from a secular christianish culture.
Don't be shy about religious questions, even ones that seem critical or making light of God. It's normal to have that. There's not really any taboo topics. But conversely if you go to a seder and this is your first time meeting many jewish people, talk about what is going on, don't freeze up and accidentally launch in with "but I thought jews were like X..." or "so, controversial topic X..?" as a light conversation starter.
ETA: I had some older posts about Seders too, you should be able to find them in my tags.
In our family, there's typically an hour or two of ceremony, a large meal, some more ceremony, and fun singing (with animal noises). A bit longer at Rachel's birth family, a bit shorter at polycule Seder. The tone is a little bit serious but also gregarious and fun. Many families have smaller or token amount of service.
A big purpose of a seder is to show traditions to children and to guests, and guests invited and children running around is actively good, not an imposition. People will explain lots of things but but, everyone will muddle through following whatever they can manage, there's almost nothing where it matters to get it right, you just move on anyway.
Random background:
• "Seder" means "order", as in there's a traditional sequence laid out in a traditional book for how to teach the story of the exodus (but the sequence may not be obvious from the book as it includes a lot of extras)
• Several times you say a prayer a specific food. Typically the sequence is, it's handed around, everyone says a prayer together, then you go ahead and drink or eat it. There may also be water and nibbles to take any time. But once you start eating the meal you don't need to pause for any more blessings.
• There's a traditional four glasses of wine. These may be kosher wine (sweet, strange, pasteurised), normal wine, or grape juice. It's traditional to take anywhere between a sip and most-but-not-all of the glass. It's traditional to refill before each drink, even if only a token amount, and to refill for each other.
• Please ask questions about anything you're curious about, or "why is this bit in here?". It's a tradition and something people want you to do. Don't feel like you're intruding, it's polite to interrupt more than in ceremonies most people are used to from a secular christianish culture.
Don't be shy about religious questions, even ones that seem critical or making light of God. It's normal to have that. There's not really any taboo topics. But conversely if you go to a seder and this is your first time meeting many jewish people, talk about what is going on, don't freeze up and accidentally launch in with "but I thought jews were like X..." or "so, controversial topic X..?" as a light conversation starter.
ETA: I had some older posts about Seders too, you should be able to find them in my tags.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-08 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-04-08 02:19 pm (UTC)I'd forgotten I did have a few jewish people on my friendslist as well as Rachel. How much does the rest of my intro generalise to other people's seders?