Look what I did - Graveyard Shift, Chapter 2

[jack]

This chapter is the first one I thought of and later, the first one I wrote. It's not my *favorite* now I've written the rest, but I do like it.

Colon and Nobby walked into Hide Park. There was a nervous cluster of men standing around a small wide box on which a voluminously valkyrian woman was standing with a speaking trumpet and a small whistle.
 "That's not them, is it?" asked Colon.
 "Of course not. There aren't any women."
 SQWEEEE! went the whistle. Several men clapped their hands to their ears.
 "GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN," blared the valkyrie. "WELCOME TO THE DEBUT OF THE AKNH-MORPORK TRADITONAL FOLK DANCING FOR BALLROOMS SOCIETY. IS THAT TWO MORE AT THE BACK?"
Continued...

I've duplicated the poll as well. You don't have to vote again, but are very welcome to if you want to reinforce your original choice or change your mind.

I like it, keep it coming!

Hmm. I'm not so sure. I probably won't bother reading the rest.

Woo! This is great. Please send it to me now (I've put my name or email in the box) and I might even send back some suggestions or corrections. Alternatively, my computer is playing up and I'd like it offline in RTF format.

Noo! This is an abomination against my favorite author. The characters didn't ring true and you got all the details wrong. You suck.

I don't care how good it is, I love it anyway, I'm your mother:)

Just call the house Alexandria Tickybox already and stop with the polling!

Comments

[mair_in_grenderich]

you know, it really irritates me reading things chapter by chapter (I mean, with gaps in between. It's not as though I want to read a page from chapter one, and then one from chapter two, and then go back to chapter one for a bit). you read a bit, and you think "cool, what's next", and there isn't a next, and you're stuck. Can we have the whole thing already?

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I'll email it to you since you want. I apologise for being a fic tease, but I think it's the only way I can bully people into giving plenty of feedback, which is good if I want to know what's worth trying to repeat, and what's best forgotten.

[atreic.livejournal.com]

Ok, that actually made me laugh. Out loud. In the CMS library.

I'm not sure if this is your incredable writing style, or just too many years in CDC...

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Or that my incredable writing style knows to write what it knows people will love... Either way, thanks. If I can make one person laugh out loud my work is not wasted. And mum had *several* favorite bits.

[ewx.livejournal.com]

"RTF Format" is a LA abbreviation...

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

"LA"?

Mea culpa, you're quite right. For some reason I had thought it was "Rich text file" not "format". In future, I will write "a RTF file" or "in RTFormat" ok?

[ewx.livejournal.com]

LA abbreviation = leaky abbreviation. I've also seen "LA acronym", but of course, they aren't all acronyms.

[atreic.livejournal.com]

Ah, have just worked out the poll. I thought it was impressive that you had 123 votes (not because your fic is bad, but that's a *lot* of people reading). Then I was even more shocked by your 1234. Now I've worked it out and feel dumb.