Quotations, Memes and Jokes - Quotations, Memes and Jokes

This is pretty clever. I like the comments on 'British' and 'Ultima'. Several of the solutions seem self-contradictory.

I wonder how I'd have scored if I'd checked only the icons I knew what they were, not all that I recognised?

Viruses you suffer from, and their cures

Linux: Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
Sci-fi:Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Free BSD: The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Junkfood: Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
BBCB: CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
Religion: Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
8-Bit: Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
British: No need for cure. Benign virus.
Windows: Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck. As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
Politics: Stop caring!
Ultima: If you find one tell us.
Environmentalism: Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Gaming (60%): Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
Amiga (80%): Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn't have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.
UNIX (75%): Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
Computer Games (90%) Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Hippyism (60%): Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Macintosh (60%): Use a mouse with more than one button.

Quotations, Memes and Jokes - Threes

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: Jack, Gwaihir, Dave
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: jackv, CartesianDaemon, Jak O' Th' Shadows
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: Funny, generous, mostly-non-bigoted
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: Sarcastic, shy, fat
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: Performing in any way, including plays, phone-calls, presentations; being alone; nuclear proliferation.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: Internet, food, pen.
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: get into music; finish writing an original story; have a relationship with someone I have stuff in common with :)
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or ****same***) THAT APPEAL TO YOU: intellegent; shy but sarcastic; sexy body parts and wild hair
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO: Work at anywhere between 30% and 110%; Not make smart remarks; fly
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: Writing, Reading, 'Rithmatic.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: Leave work; Sever last connections to acrefield drive; visit Liz.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Write a book; major charity work; have £1mil