Dhl@home

Listen, DHL.

I'm almost pathological about accommodating people. If you preface your request "excuse me, could you possibly" I'll probably end up walking over hot coals to do so. But I'm also pathological about stickling for accuracy. If you just brazen-facedly try to pretend that of course I have to jump through these stupid fucking hoops, I'll

I did walk over hot coals once, and that was very fun. Much, much more fun than anything to do with DHL. If getting a parcel from you is less fun than walking over hot coals, then if your core business is parcel delivery, then you are DOING SOMETHING WRONG, ok?

OK, the first day you tried to deliver, I was at work from 9-5. Also, the second day. See a pattern? Things that would help: (1) having a website that works (2) being able to arrange redelivery for a specific day, rather than just a choice between "ever" and "never" (to be fair, maybe their business-hours-only phone number could do this and it's the fault of problem #1). See?

Seriously, I literally can't get a package from your without spending half an hour slagging you off. I'd love not to, you look really nice. But seriously, something is wrong. Again.

Dhl@home

I arguably owe DHL an apology, because once I _did_ ring their number, which _is_ open in the morning before 9.00, I spoke to someone who was in fact very helpful, and human, and in the Cambridge depot, which is in Bar Hill. So that's fairly easy.

Footnote

In fact, I wouldn't mind if she wasn't in Bar Hill, specifically, it's just that there's a high correlation between being near something and knowing something about it. Not always: some organisations have very very useful distributed arrangements, and if you're, eg. submitting a bug to a free software project, then using the bug tracking thing, and following up by email if necessary, is often the most effective way of doing so.

But if someone says "OK, I've put a note on the package and the handlers are not going to screw it up this time", I find that if they're right there that often has an effect, and if their not, then it normally doesn't. I remember ringing HSBC, sitting through the patronising messages saying "why not use our website instead", and speaking to someone who was apparently in a foreign call centre. And next time, ringing the complaints line, and reaching someone who was apparently senior in a specific branch in Britain. Now, being friendly, helpful, and having a nice Scottish accent was nice but not strictly necessary: if that were the sole benefit of being in the UK, having a foreign call centre would make an awful lot of sense.

But while HSBC obviously could give responsibility and training to foreign staff, they obviously don't. So, while it's not the fault of the first person I spoke to, the first person said something like "why don't you wait on hold for ten minutes, and then after that discover I've no idea and suggest you, like, maybe, try going into a branch and asking around there?" and the second understood my problem and instantly fixed it, so I much, much preferred talking to the second person.