Jack's Life Advice: RSVP

"RSVP" traditionally means exactly what it says: please respond. Whether or not you're able to come. Traditionally, not doing so is rude (assuming the invitation came from someone who had a genuine reason to invite you).

Now, a much better heuristic is: on invitations to big social events like weddings, "RSVP" retains the traditional usage. On casual social engagements, "RSVP" typically means "let me know if you're going to come" and non-response is treated like a "no". Although often positive responses are helpful even if not necessary, and often there is some flexibility to turn up at the last minute.

Unfortunately, this means that you can't really say it at all without a little bit of ambiguity. Normally the heuristic works fine, but it may be slightly better to specify what you actually mean, eg. "let me know if X, letting me know if Y would be helpful but not necessary" or "please let me know by DATE if you want to come or not, or what it depends on if still unsure". Or even to give people a little helping hand by asking them if they're probably coming, which many people can answer immediately, and is often sufficient for small social occasions, rather than if they're definitely coming, which puts many people into "let me check my diary for three months" mode.

Most of my posting and commenting is about stuff I'm just on the cusp of figuring out

I was recently musing about free will and other philosophical issues, and it occurred to me that I rarely post or comment about stuff I learned or figured out a long time ago and feel fairly settled about: I much more often post or comment about stuff I'm mulling over right now.

Which is natural, because that's what's taking up brainspace, and that's what I'm excited to know, and that's what I need helpful feedback about. But it manifests as rushing into related conversations to explain whatever it was I was just figuring out.

Whereas, when I'm fairly sure of something, I don't feel I have the time to bring it up everywhere it's relevant, even if someone is doing it wrong: I expect someone else to do that. Except when it's something I've made a personal crusade to educate people about.

This, while very natural and promoting animated discourse between people with a similar level of understanding, I think contributes for the tendency for people who know nothing, and people who pretty much grok the topic completely, to stay out of discussions, and discussions, especially controversial ones, to degenerate into massive bun-fights between people who know exactly just a bit about them.

If I manage to post whatever I'm musing about free will, I imagine I will get few people who've never thought about it to take an interest, and few people who are well read on the subject to educate me, but comparatively many people to chime in with "that's really interesting, I was thinking something similar, but X".