I like newness. I like talking to new people. I like talking to new sorts of people. I like trying new (vegetarian) foods. I really, really like learning new things. I like going to new places. I like having new experiences.
I just only want to cope with so much at once.
For a time, I stereotyped myself as not liking talking to people, not because I didn't like talking to people at all, but because I generally liked talk (and small talk particularly) less than typically happened in a day. But it wasn't at all true that I don't want to talk to people. Partly, it depends on being around people who want to talk about the same sort of things. But partly, just after half a day or so, I'm full up, and need to do something else (a bit of nothing, some talking to people I already know well).
It's easy to get into a bad habit, where when someone asks if I want to do X, I say "no", because I normally get too much X, so I normally want to reduce it, and I never know when I'll need to do X later. But I've been getting better at saying "Can I positively embrace the amount I want to do, and then gracefully decline extras?" And I normally can.
I think most people are similar that they expand their comfort zone slowly. But as an adult, it's often easier to not do something, than to do something and admit to everyone else you're bad at it. So it takes conscious effort to try new things that lots of people can already do and not mind that people say "oh my god, how did you not know X" or "wait, but I thought you were a hate-and-despise-X person, when did you change your mind?" and remind yourself you don't have to justify why or why not you didn't learn that earlier in life.
I just only want to cope with so much at once.
For a time, I stereotyped myself as not liking talking to people, not because I didn't like talking to people at all, but because I generally liked talk (and small talk particularly) less than typically happened in a day. But it wasn't at all true that I don't want to talk to people. Partly, it depends on being around people who want to talk about the same sort of things. But partly, just after half a day or so, I'm full up, and need to do something else (a bit of nothing, some talking to people I already know well).
It's easy to get into a bad habit, where when someone asks if I want to do X, I say "no", because I normally get too much X, so I normally want to reduce it, and I never know when I'll need to do X later. But I've been getting better at saying "Can I positively embrace the amount I want to do, and then gracefully decline extras?" And I normally can.
I think most people are similar that they expand their comfort zone slowly. But as an adult, it's often easier to not do something, than to do something and admit to everyone else you're bad at it. So it takes conscious effort to try new things that lots of people can already do and not mind that people say "oh my god, how did you not know X" or "wait, but I thought you were a hate-and-despise-X person, when did you change your mind?" and remind yourself you don't have to justify why or why not you didn't learn that earlier in life.