OK, this has been an extremely, extremely long time coming, but I feel like I'm finally starting to be on top of a lot of aspects of my life.
At work, I used to get blocked on lots of things, not just things you might expect people to freeze up for but, well, almost every situation, even situations where it should be easy for me to do with the experience I had. And I muddled through somehow, but it was always a struggle, like writers block every day. But I finally broke through a lot of the big blocks, and I think now, most of the things I need to do, I can just sit down and work on. That doesn't magically make me able to do them, of course, but they're mostly things I can do with the experience and strengths I have. It feels silly saying so, since that feels like a baseline most people should *start* from. But on the other hand, plenty of people have different reasons for "not really doing the thing", including people who just, don't really get what it's for. But it still feels really freeing, and hopefully I can actually start notching off some things where I've worked effectively and am pleased with the result, rather than lurching from one thing I didn't quite have the time to get working to another.
And at home, I've always been drawn to one creative project or another, but for the longest time I'd be blocked from sitting down and *starting* anything, and then I'd be blocked from *finishing* anything. But with the latest bout of drawing, writing, game design, and roleplaying, I feel like I'm finally putting in an amount of work commensurate to being satisfied with things, rather than endlessly planning but not getting anywhere, or sinking into it irretrievably for ages. And I've too much stuff queued up I want to do, but fingers crossed, I can actually *do* some of it.
It's still early days yet, I need to see if I get *used* to this, and ideally can relax with the idea that if I just keep doing what I'm doing I will get somewhere, rather than constantly panicking that I need to be doing better.
At work, I used to get blocked on lots of things, not just things you might expect people to freeze up for but, well, almost every situation, even situations where it should be easy for me to do with the experience I had. And I muddled through somehow, but it was always a struggle, like writers block every day. But I finally broke through a lot of the big blocks, and I think now, most of the things I need to do, I can just sit down and work on. That doesn't magically make me able to do them, of course, but they're mostly things I can do with the experience and strengths I have. It feels silly saying so, since that feels like a baseline most people should *start* from. But on the other hand, plenty of people have different reasons for "not really doing the thing", including people who just, don't really get what it's for. But it still feels really freeing, and hopefully I can actually start notching off some things where I've worked effectively and am pleased with the result, rather than lurching from one thing I didn't quite have the time to get working to another.
And at home, I've always been drawn to one creative project or another, but for the longest time I'd be blocked from sitting down and *starting* anything, and then I'd be blocked from *finishing* anything. But with the latest bout of drawing, writing, game design, and roleplaying, I feel like I'm finally putting in an amount of work commensurate to being satisfied with things, rather than endlessly planning but not getting anywhere, or sinking into it irretrievably for ages. And I've too much stuff queued up I want to do, but fingers crossed, I can actually *do* some of it.
It's still early days yet, I need to see if I get *used* to this, and ideally can relax with the idea that if I just keep doing what I'm doing I will get somewhere, rather than constantly panicking that I need to be doing better.