Good and Bad cover letters

[jack]

I was browsing publishing blogs (eg. agents in the uk by PTerry and by GNaimen), and Teresa Nielsen Hayden's blog Making Light, from Tor Publishing, one entry which was funny enough to basically reproduce.

Extracts from bad cover letters, actually sent:

— Projected literary reviews are as follows…
— Dear Mr. or Ms. Patrick Nielsen Hayden:
—- p.s. These are not my best chapters.
-— What I am sending now is an EXTREMELY DIFFERENT VERSION of a novel that I sent to Tor Books in April 2001 (it was rejected). I am sending you this altered manuscript now because THIS VERSION INCLUDES MATHEMATICAL PROOFS THAT REVEAL THE SECRET OF THE UNIVERSE and THE REJECTED ONE DID NOT. Furthermore, I made drastic changes in the story line, which is why I feel that this is worth consideration.

Template for a good cover letter:

Enclosed are the first three chapters plus an outline of my 85,000-word science fiction novel, Voodoo Robot. It is [insert here a one- or two-sentence summary of the basic setup and story arc]. This is my first novel. [OR: I have the following publication credits.] [Optionally, and only if EXTREMELY pertinent: In addition, I have the following related credentials or experience. For example: This is my first SF novel, but on the other hand I am Geoff Landis.] ...

Comments

[sunflowerinrain.livejournal.com]

Mathematical CAPS which reveal the secret of the universe? Want!

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Well, it makes sense. Make the sentence which will get your letter read stand out -- that bit apparently worked... :)

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

Huh. Yeah, those mathematical proofs. LOL.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

It's *possible*. There have been goodish hard science fiction exploring a new (if not 'the') secret, eg. novels with relativistic time travel, and everything Jules Verne wrote. And many really awful novels trying to do the same. *Eventually* we must have someone who is a great scientist *and* author. I just hope *they* are equally good at using the shift key responsibly :)

[(Anonymous)]

What delighted me was the idea that if it wasn't enough to have a novel contain the secret of the universe (mathematically proven), a revamped plot might tip the balance. There's a real writer lurking there beneath the neurochemical impairment.

[tnh.livejournal.com]

Drat! That was me. I'm supposed to stay logged in.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I'm more depressed that he thought secrets of the universe might help. Given secrets of the universe he could have (a) sold them and vanity published with an intensive marketing campaign (b) sent his son to come to earth and be crucified and resurrected, then have his friends write a book about it which would change the world (c) become famous and then write a book (d) imagine the new science which will be created.

But putting the equations in the book, while modest, doesn't seem likely to work :) I was veyr touched by his (comparatively) humble and straightforward email. As if it might help a bit, but he knew it wouldn't tip the scales.

PS. I'm sorry for gakking your post in its entirity. It was very funny, and a convenient way to draw friends attention to your blog if they weren't familiar with it :)