Quotations, Memes and Jokes - Things that are hard to say when drunk

[jack]

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more drinks for me, I've reached my limit.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) Please take the shots back; let's have water.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero coordination.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
k) Look, it would be nice to "do it" but I hardly know you and we will only feel really embarrassed and awkward in the morning.
l) That guy is looking at my girlfriend but I am sure its just because he knows her or something.
m) That chair looks wobbly and dangerous and I certainly wouldn't try balancing on it with this short skirt on in case I fell off.
n) I must get to my bed, as I could never have a really good sleep in that hedge.

Comments

[rochvelleth.livejournal.com]

Lol *and much guffawing* Now I'm just trying to work out how many of these things you've actually done yourself... :)

You know what it's unexplicably impossible to say quite right when you're drunk? (Apart from that sentence, that is) Well, it's 'tequila'. No idea why. Drunkenness also makes metathesis way more common. Now that's an interesting idea for a thesis...

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

They're not original to me, I copied the list from somewhere. So evidence of my drunken escaped will remain un-hinted at... whoops. Never mind :)

[edith-the-hutt.livejournal.com]

I find alcohol has an effect on the nature of the universe. For example I've only usually had two or three drinks no matter what. Naturally some of them may have been re-filled but that doesn't count.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I find alcohol distorts gravity, and geography, and even geometry, and especially linguistics :)

[rochvelleth.livejournal.com]

Especially if you're a linguist by trade...

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I should have said linguisticals, that'd've been funnier :)

[rochvelleth.livejournal.com]

And even harder to say when drunk!

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

No, that generally just... happens. All by itself :)