jack | (no subject)

Last year I posted http://cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com/296126.html. The response was sufficiently positive I felt I should repost a slightly cut down version here.

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Every year there's a bit of a blat-blat about valentines day, with some people (and all advertising) going over the top, many people feeling pissed off, many people justifying it.

Is it worth celebrating valentines? Certainly. Love is a great thing, we have days to celebrate all sorts of crap, why not this?

Is there a good reason people get annoyed? Certainly. The problem isn't people who celebrate themselves, but a lot of advertising suggesting you have to.

Should we cancel valentines? I don't think so. Do we cancel Christmas to avoid upsetting people with no families? Do we cancel New Years to avoid upsetting people who can't drink? Do we cancel Easter or Ramadan to avoid upsetting people of different or no religion? Do we cancel sysadmin appreciation day because 99% of the population think it's stupid? All (except the last) are too noticeable to simply ignore. But we do make an effort to reach out to people without families on Christmas, etc.

Why not tomorrow take the opportunity to think of people you love in different ways? Is there anyone you owe a kiss? Have you told your best friend that they are your best friend? Did you ever ring your father up just to say you love him?

OK, I'm being sappy, but I know about 30% of you need some cheering up. Everyone else please continue being sappy or sarcastic as appropriate.

ETA: For that matter, two alternative celebrations have been suggested, too late for this year, but good, in that they're not anti-romantic, but a-romantic, an alternative for people who don't want to complain about romance, but want to do something else:

1. Garlic party day
2. Randomly chop some heads off or burn people on wheels or whatever supposedly happened to supposed St. Valentine.

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From:

simont

Some years I do get a bit pissed off about V-day. This year, I don't seem to have done so yet, although I'm still expecting a high probability of something somewhere managing to irritate me on the day itself. Most likely candidate is some widely admired person feeling upset at not being widely admired enough (probably as measured by the number of anonymous valentine posts on LJ communities), which will make me want to get all Four Yorkshiremen on their widely admired arse.

cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com

Yeah, I know what you mean. I know how hard it is to avoid that sort of thing (just because people are less fortunate than you about something, doesn't mean you're barred from a normal human quantity of hyperbole about bad luck) but how annoying it can be, and the problem with V is how it's set up to magnify that sort of thing (The "Woe is me, I only got 1375 cards this year, down 0.2% below projected inflation, I am ugly and unloved..." phenomenon :)).

bugshaw.livejournal.com

Alternatives: Staggering Brilliant Singles-Only Party?

A friend used to hold one; two of the attendees got married last year :-)

LOL. Yes, exactly. That's the obvious suggestion. Or, indeed, a valentines-themed party singles and couples can come to.

But in fact, I preferred the idea of something positive (like eastercon for easter), something not about valentines at all, but something instead, hence the garlic party. Anti-valentines parties, while often fun, often seem a bit pointless, people (in whatever romantic stage) ironically being curmudgeonly about valentines, and you have to get over that, whereas garlic can be all positive from the get go :)

Carlton rose-petal wine sounds good, and I expect some couples, but I also expect some bitching about the commercialness of valentines, etc.

I am inclined to bring my rose-flavoured chocolate to the Carlton.

My landlady suggested a party people pay to attend, with the donations going to the Papworth Heart Hospital. Then that I could do a sponsored snog for Papworth. Then offered me some Gift Aid forms. !

:-/ I have some sympathy with the idea :), but I'm not sure where she was going with that!

rjw76

By the way, I am married and hate it. I resent being told when and how to celebrate something I should be conscious of all year round.

And the pink. Oh, gods, the pink.

rysmiel.livejournal.com

By the way, I am married and hate it.

This sentence invites a particularly unfortunate misreading, fwiw.

By the way, I am married and hate it. I resent being told when and how to celebrate something I should be conscious of all year round.

I know what you mean. But I actually think it's more of a reaction to it being so overblown, commercialised, fake, one-up-ful and over-pink. I think every-one works out it's quite tacky sooner or later.

But most special days (Christmas, talk-like-a-pirate, St. George's day) are a recognition of something that could apply at any time, and we don't resent them for it. So boycotting the whole idea rather makes sense, but contrariwise, so does ignoring the pink and doing something sensible.

Also, *hugs* :)

Is there anyone you owe a kiss?

At least two dozen people, most of whom I am sending cards to. Depressingly many of whom are way too far away; overcoming pathological shyness online first leads to a situation of having friends all over the world, but none here, like unto Tony Hancock.

On Valentine's Day 2002,

papersky and

zorinth and I landed in Canada, and every year since then we've had an anniversary dinner. Which won't work this year because Z has a girlfriend and they are doing something couply, and because we have been volunteered to host some acquaintances en route from Toronto to Boston for Boskone.

papersky and I have contemplated not saying "I love you" to each other all day as a form of protest against the commercialisation of the day, as we normally say it lots and lots of times.

On Valentine's Day 2002, papersky and zorinth and I landed in Canada, and every year since then we've had an anniversary dinner.

That's a nice custom, I like that.

well, I'm all for this spreading via more of my friends moving to Montreal.

:) I was thinking more of other close friend anniversary gatherings. Of course, there's no way to guarantee they fall then, but if they do, it's nice that something friendly supersedes the V's rush, and if you want to V, you can do it the next day or similar without apology if you choose. Certainly Montreal is good if we move somewhere, but wasn't necessary for my plans :)

Ah heck.

I know it would mess up the global economy if everyone moved here, but a city of four million should be able to absorb a few hundred of my friends without any trouble at all, particularly as they are in general such cool and nice people.

Oh yes, indeed. But it absorb a few hundred of each of *their* friends? :( :)

I think the sets might overlap to the extent that that's still not unfeasible. Further degrees of extension do get problematic, though.

ghoti.livejournal.com

Of course, it's also Sts Cyril and Methodius day, so doing something extra especially European would be appropriate (they're patron saints of Europe).

robhu.livejournal.com

It's also Singles Awareness Day.

:) Oh yes, indeed, but any such celebrations (that I've heard of) always seem to be more anti-valentines than actually pro anything, and however funny is not as good a good start as something unrelieved positive. :)

Oh yes, L said several friends actually *did* have a semi-custom of celebrating them -- they described them as the patron saints of literacy, and I fell in love with that custom also.

I really wanted something of which both garlic and C&M were aspects, but that's difficult to find exactly :)

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