Unsolicited Life Advice: It normally doesn't matter why you're late

[jack]

1. If you're going out and it's sunny, take suncream or a hat, even in England. Yes, you won't need it every time, but it's worth it to never need it and not have it. It really is. Ask yourself realistically, afterwards, which you would prefer.

2. It normally doesn't matter why you're late. If you're often late, and don't want to be, and are well enough to have luxury of doing so, you should give yourself more time. If you're not often late, people will assume you had a good reason. What particular went wrong this time is often interesting, and will often provide symapthy, but it normally doesn't make any especially difference to everyone else. This is why making excuses, whilst apparently logical, has a bad reputation. "..and then the flying panda..." "No. 'I'm running a little late, I'll see you at seven. That's what you say. That's ALL you say."

3. If you work on the computer, don't procrastinate on the computer.

4. If you feel like you're pretending, don't worry. Most other people are doing that too. If you keep putting up a persona of a confident, successful person -- why, then that's what you ARE. If you feel you're denying your true personality, don't worry, pick the best aspects of both and you will eventually become that.

Comments

[andrewducker]

4) can sometimes be terribly bad advice, as people strive to be something that they really aren't, and just become more and more stressed, neurotic and uncomfortable with their life.

3) I disagree with, as I _like_ computers.

2) I agree with entirely.

[jack]

:)

2. Thank you.

3. :) That's probably an example of posting life advice which is applicable only to people in the same situation. Which is very common, saying "this worked for me, I don't know if it's appropriate for you, but I can't judge, so I'm just going to throw it out there". Sometimes people make it clear that's what they're doing, sometimes they just state it baldly. I try to avoid that, but sometimes play it up if I do end up doing it...

For me, I definitely like computers but if I procrastinate on a computer when I'm supposed to be working (i) my eyes get tired, and so I keep dragging out the procrastination and then switching away without starting work and (ii) I develop bad habits that don't associate "in front of IDE" with "at work"...

4. Good point, I think it's another case of overgeneralisation a la #3. Hm, I want to write more about this point in a bit.

[andrewducker]

I do actually agree that (4) is a good short-term tactic. If you're at a party and want to meet people then act happy and shortly afterwards you'll (probably) find yourself happily enjoying the party.

I procrastinate all the time at work. But I mix it in with getting enough stuff done to keep my boss happy :->

[jack]

Yes, I agree. You shouldn't feel OBLIGED to put up a facade. I guess my advice is specifically for people who feel the way I sometimes do, feel that even if I enjoy being extroverted, I "shouldn't" because it's "not me", but that contrariwise, it can be me if I want it to :)

[seryn]

1-- I've started using regular old lotion that has minimal sunscreen in it. So if I go outside I'm good up to the point where I'd probably think about it (beach, all day boating, etc.) It's the same price as other varieties of lotion within that brand and I prefer this smell. I do feel a little stupid rubbing lotion with sunscreen onto the soles of my feet though.

[naath]

1)yes! hats good :-)

2)so much! I mean, the reason I'm generally not late (pretty much the only reason I'm generally not late) is because I figured that shit happens that makes it take twice as long to get from A to B as it "should" about half the time, so I leave twice as long to do it. There's no magic secret to not having shit happen, just leaving longer to do things. Oh, and having knitting/reading/whatever to occupy you when you are early. Doesn't work so well if "leaving extra time" means getting up at stupid-early-am (but I solve that by almost never agreeing to be anywhere at any time that would require that).

3)but I LIKE computers!

4)Works well up to a point, after which... sucks balls. I mean, yes, I guess most of us feel we are "pretending" to be competent grown ups who can do sensible jobs and live independent lives whilst at the same time actually being able to do those things. Which might be what you meant ;-) But it's not worth pretending to be things that you really aren't, especially if you are good at pretending. People get all sorts of wrong ideas.

[jack]

I should probably write some follow up to this, I agree with your description. (See also comment to andrewducker)

I agree feeling you have to pretend X often sucks, as opposed to finding somewhere where you don't.

But I was thinking (as you describe) of cases where you enjoy pretending to be grown-up, or vibrant, or whatever, and feel that you're cheating by pretending to be, when for all you know everyone else actually IS, but that often your behaviour is just as justified as theirs.