He's winning, but that scares him worst of all, because he doesn't know why he's winning,

[jack]

Cookie to anyone who gets the quote.

I've hosted quite a few parties by now. A success where everyone broke up into little groups and talked to each other, but also mingled with people I knew from completely other places, and got drunk, and porters visited, and much flirting and lap sitting went on. A party where no-one turned up. A party where everyone sat around in a big circle not knowing each other and being awkward. A joint party in the WPR, with friends' family included, which was surprisingly social, all in all. Various part way between dinner party and parties which have had various levels of success, but not especially.

I like to have a party because it's fun, it does a bit to repay people for good times I've had at their parties, it's a good way to get to know people better, it ensures a steady supply of social occasions. But, in true thinking about it too much style, I don't know if I should do anything more to prepare than the obvious of getting people to turn up, provide stuff, and hope we have fun. Is there anything particular I should? Am I turning into bridget jones? :)

Comments

[megamole.livejournal.com]

Am I turning into bridget jones? :)

I'll bring a pair of big blue pants and a saucepan.

[atreic.livejournal.com]

When I was trying to turn a play cast, half of whom had never been in the same rehersals, into a lean, mean, society, I took them all to formal, got them drunk, and then made sure there were silly games to play. (cardboard box game, jenga, twister, etc) This surprisingly worked. But then you don't want to have to cat herd everyone into playing stupid games they don't want to play. Maybe if you advertise parties with a gimmick "fancy dress party", "silly games party" "play readthrough party" you self select and get people who will throw themselves into it and have fun (CULES are kind of self selected in the first place) But for a sitting around talking party I think just making sure there's enough to drink (and making it clear if you're providing stuff or they should bring stuff) and to eat, a bit of sugar so everyone gets hyper (haribo!), and not having it so busy or crowded that it becomes oppressive is a good start.

There's an art to inviting people... you don't have to invite everyone you know to every party you have, and slightly "themed" people will naturally make a party slightly more fun by all enjoying the same thing. Hence mathmos will all watch "Look and See", silly games players will all play silly games, ranty political types will be happy ranting about politics, people who come to a ceilidh will all dance... (They don't all have to know each other already, but people will feel less self concious and have more fun with a group of people they're fairly familiar with than with lots of disparate strangers)

I don't know. I'm useless at parties.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I have big blue pants and saucepans... :)

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I'm useless at parties.

No, that sounds like eminantly reasonable advice. Thanks for your thoughts.

I think a gimic of some sort is good to get things going, but I never know what. I have *some* silly games, perhaps I should ask people to bring something... And I think by now I probably have some cult dvds. An internet connection would be nice because we can share 'you must see this spoof site' things, but I still don't.

There's an art to inviting people...

Yes. But it's tricky, because unless it's so few you can schedule round them you get a subset that might or might not be appropriate -- some people glue other people together well, some don't get on. For a dinner party I can do it, starting with inviting people and then inviting some more later depending. But this inevitably leads to people being left out, which shouldn't be a problem but can be.

They don't all have to know each other already, but people will feel less self concious and have more fun with a group of people they're fairly familiar with than with lots of disparate strangers

Sometimes I've just *known* some people will get on together and have been so right: I remember meeting tim's nearly-brother-in-law, and it was exactly like meeting Tim.

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

You need BLUE SOUP!

Sorry, was that too obvious?

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I need my Mr Darcy :)

PS. Obviously you're *invited* and it'd be lovely to see you, but I assume you won't come... :)

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

I need my Mr Darcy! Stop hogging all the hot guys!

Yup, that's about right, but thank you.

I think you should make blue soup, just as a joke. You can bring it out when things get dull.

Shh! Don't tell anyone!

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I thought Mr Darcies were like true love -- there's one for each of us.

Mmm, could do. Food colouring is easy, right?

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Teh humour of it all!

Fine then - I want Colin Firth, and he's mine. (Actually, I don't, but all women have to pretend they do. It's a thing)

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Eh? I thought no-one wanted Colin Firth. There was a poll, and Mr. Darcy made the top ten hunks and he didn't :(

[atreic.livejournal.com]

My main problem with Bridget Jones (apart from the fact I didn't like their casting of Bridget) is that I find Hugh Grant so much more sexy than Colin Firth...

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

Hence my brackets.

BJ wanted him. Um, because she's obviously an example of a well-rounded woman!

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

Yup, I'm with you there. The upper-class repressed thing doesn't really do it for me.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

That's your problem right there. You should have read the book :)

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I mean, I thought it was commonly aknowledged that Mr Darcy was the way to go, so I could understand you pretending to like him to fit in, but not Colin, sorry Colin :)

Also, I didn't mean 'no-one' -- obviously many thousands of women do, I meant that *comparatively* no-one did ;)

[atreic.livejournal.com]

Huh? I read the book ages before I saw the film...

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Oh good[1]. Sorry, my brain was expecting a disambiguation or something, since in the book there was no problem with Daniel being playing by Grant. OTOH, he was supposed to be attractive, wasn't he? BJ did fall for him, and only after she was *convinced* he was a bastard end up with Mark.

[1] I'm glad someone else did, lots of people I expected to seemed not to have done :)

[ewx.livejournal.com]

IME every party beyond the smallest has a kitchen party.

[rochvelleth.livejournal.com]

The quote sounds so damn familiar... which makes me think it might be Sharpe. But I don't usually remember Sharpe soundbites, so... *thinks*

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

LOL. Yeah. In fact, perhaps any gimicks used should be designed to get people to move about so they can more easily gravitate to places they'd be comfortable... :)

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

It might be too generic actually, so that it *might* be Sharpe too, but it wasn't when I thought of it :)

[despotliz.livejournal.com]

I bunged the subject line into Google and the first hit is Stargate Atlantis fanfic, which I suspect is not what you were after.

Afraid I can't do party, as I must feed my parents large amounts of food and prove to them that I am capable of living on my own without it being a complete disaster. Next time. :)

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Weird, when I do it, it goes straight to the page I got it from. I guess there's no point being coy: Ender's Game, Dink talking about Rose the Nose. I don't know why it stayed with me, but it did.

Yeah, sorry. I knew you were busy, but I think sunday would have been just as bad for everone. Hope the parentalness goes well.

My parents were delighted when I produced food for them -- never before having had a kitchen condusive to it, they'd never really got used to that idea :)

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

This has been bugging me all day. Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card, referring to Rose the Nose?

I love that book, I can't believe it took me this long. *head-desks*

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

OK, I just realised that it's in the comment above mine, but I got it fair and square on my own! *demands cookies and credit*

[theinquisitor.livejournal.com]

Aha! Knew it was familiar...

parties

[hdb21.livejournal.com]

I've yet to attend one of these infamous cartesiandaemon parties... one day... one day...

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I knew you'd get it eventually. No, I believe you didn't see the answer above. Sorry for annoying you, but it is quite impressive to get it: it's a small, non-famous quote. It stuck with me but I was just curious to know if anyone else would know.

*sends virtual cookies*

If you come to cambridge for the party I can give you real cookies, otherwise you'll have to make do with credit[1].

[1] Credit, n, the promise of something, eg. cookies :)

Re: parties

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

You're always welcome. But I thought you'd gone away so I gave up inviting you :)

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

But I worship that book, so... *eats virtual cookies with relish*

Virtual cookies are in a way better than real ones, because they're calorie-free and hence figure-friendly

I'll see what I can do about the partay, but... nope, it's my mother's bday round then. Sorry :(

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

LOL. I love it too, I'm still grateful for your suggesting it back in fisrt year :)

Also, you can eat an infinite number of them... but OTOH, they have the satisfaction of being rewarded for knowledge but NO TASTE, so I'll stick with real ones, thanks ;)

No, I didn't think you'd be able to, but wanted to offer. How is mum? (What's her name again?) Any news on the stomach thing?? *hugs*

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

lol. I remember when you borrowed them from me - I felt like a mother leaving her kids at nursery school for the first time!

Mum's name is Emilia. She's okay - the stomach still hurts but I'm trying to cook blander food now, and there's no news yet. THe blood test takes a while. Thanks for asking :)

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

OK, she sounds ok, and fingers crossed nothing turns up.

I felt like a mother leaving her kids at nursery school for the first time!

LOL. Awww.