Helpful tips for using Defcon levels in casual conversation

[jack]

Helpful tip #1: Defcon 5 is the lowest level, representing "business as usual". Sample usage:

Jill: Oh my Gosh, Pat found out about Sandy and Terry, it's going to be DEFCON 5 in there!
Jenn: Oh good.

Helpful tip #2: If someone stands around saying "wait, is DEFCON 5 the highest, or the lowest?" it's probably not actually that urgent. Sample usage:

Jill: It's going to be DEFCON 5 in there! Wait, is that the highest or the lowest?
Jenn: I dunno.

Helpful tip #3: If nuclear war is actually imminent, don't bother with jargon unless you're actually in the military. Say "nuclear war is imminent". Sample usage:

Jill: Aaaaaaaah!
Jenn: Aaaaaaaah!

On a related note, the Doomsday Clock is now at 5 minutes to midnight, closer than during most of the cold war. That seems pessimistic, surely not having a cold war is an improvement?

Comments

[jack]

No, just seeing someone say "a high DEFCON level" (which is right metaphorically, but ambiguous).

[simont]

Though of course you used the same terminology yourself in your clarification! Perhaps you should have said that DEFCON 5 was the least worrying or most peaceful level instead of the lowest :-)

[jack]

Doh! I felt it was clear by comparison with the number, but perhaps "low state of alert" would have been clearer.