I'm sorry

[jack]

This would be private. Or indeed, not thought about at all. But let me delicately peel back a bleeding top layer of onion and let the fresh air breathe the raw self underneath. Yes, that's supposed to be disturbing.

Ie, many of you have seen me being stupid. Some of you have seen me being *very* stupid ("no sin so great..."). Well, here's another example. Mum, you may or may not want to read on, it's not a big deal :)

I'm cycling south over the elizabeth way bridge, on the pavement. A few young men are walking three abreast ahead of me, reluctantly squeezing together to let by a bike coming the other way, and I've slowed right down. Normally there's never a problem. I don't quite what's best. I don't have my bell, I can dismount and overtake on foot, or say "'Scuse me, mate" perhaps followed by "Can I..? Thank you!" I try the latter.

He says something like, hey, this isn't a cycle path, you should be on the road, sounding slightly exasperated. I say something like, the road markings said it was a cycle path. He says something similar. (*) I feel really awful, guilty.

Now he's moved aside, and I go on eschewing further conversation. On my side, there's: most people cycle along there; the road markings have a picture of a cycle with an arrow pointing up onto the pavement on a gap in the curb; at the underpass there's a central barrier with one half with a bike glyph, and down the steps are a bike ramp; the traffic can be fierce; the pavement is wide so I'm unlikely to inconvenience anywone. Objectively, I feel I was likely to have be right.

But it doesn't make a difference. When I'm walking through the underpass I feel bad again, and bang my head on the wall in frustration.

So there you go. A brief, passing, unimportant incident. But it means something to me to admit another problematic aspect of myself. I feel silly bringing it up when (a) it's embarassing to know about me and (b) it's a minor quirk compared to some people's problems :) but if we always said that we'd never say anything. I should just turn it off, but I don't have the switch handy, and it's so rarely a problem, there's lots of other stuff more important to me. I know it's annoying to know someone who is often assuming they're wrong -- but I find a hell of a lot less problematic than someone always assuming they're right :)

I don't know if it gives a too bad first impression of me to say it, but I prefer to err on the side of knowing about people than not.

Comments

[miss-next.livejournal.com]

You fret too much. *hugs*

[atreic.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Have I mentioned that I just don't understand your posts a lot of the time? This is another one. Is it that you don't like the fact that you get upset when people tell you you're wrong even when you know you're right, or something else that I am missing?

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Have I mentioned that I just don't understand your posts a lot of the time?

Yeah. Though maybe not enough. I start describing something, and then what I'm trying to say gets buried under a pile of text. No, your reading is pretty much correct, thanks!

One of my favorite comments was you saying you didn't know what I was doing with my journal, but you liked it. I should try to get back to that frame of mind :)

[uisgebeatha.livejournal.com]

You really do worry too much! Your chat with me the other day was so wibbly; you should relax more!

I'm with Sally on being a bit confused at your journal. Are you trying to say here that you get annoyed when people say you're wrong? No offence, but it does seem like this would upset you, as you always like to be right in many things. :o)

[dragonwoodshed.livejournal.com]

I bloody hate people cycling on the pavement when they're not meant to, but there's a legitimate cyclepath on Elizabeth Way, you were entirely in the right.

I sweat the little stuff too sometimes. S'Okay.

x

[(Anonymous)]

I always wished the pavement-cycle combos were clearer and had lines separating the two to avoid such unfortunate incidents.
Abner

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

it does seem like this would upset you, as you always like to be right in many things. :o)

ROFL. I guess that's a fair indictment, I should bear in mind more. I hadn't realised I was quite so bad.

Your chat with me the other day was so wibbly; you should relax more!

Was it really? I thought it was just normal chat.

Are you trying to say here that you get annoyed when people say you're wrong?

LOL, yes that's about it. Well said. I was being overdramatic. But this stuff goes on under the hood, it's nice to have a look at it. Or rather, yes, maybe it is expected I do that, but I really shouldn't.

I should probably *never* bang my head into a brick wall, let alone in penance for something I couldn't rationally have avoided. Hence, "Here is stupid thing. I should learn not to do it" :)

[vyvyan.livejournal.com]

I find it extremely hard to get over incidents where people refuse to believe me when I am positive I am right. For instance, when it is a question relating to my area of academic expertise; when I have set out primary evidence for the claim and pointed them to textbooks where they can check if I am right. Sometimes they still refuse to believe me and it makes me quite absurdly upset and annoyed. (Absurd, because these incidents usually happen at parties where everyone is very drunk and probably say things they wouldn't say otherwise.)

[sonicdrift.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
There are far too many complete idiots in cambridge who think the huge painted cycles on off road cycle paths are just for decoration. The best one I've had I was on the crossing on Fen causeway, the green cycle light kind of won the argument :)

I seem to get this a couple of times a month. If they get past tutting and giving me dirty looks and actually say something I tend to just shout "It's a cycle path!" over my shoulder and hope they'll feel very silly when they get to the end of the road and check the signs.

Mind you, at least pedestrians don't think they have the right to kill you as you're clearly in the wrong, unlike cars on the counter-flow cyclelane down Pembroke street.

[yrieithydd.livejournal.com]

No, the pedestrians just walk on the wrong side and look at you oddly when you ring your bell at them.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

There's always idiots. If they were to change their mind I'd feel vindicated, but I'm sure they'll remain sure they're right regardless. If there was any chance they'd look at the signs they'd surely have been polite in the first place :) But I really shouldn't let them get to me, however inconvenienced they are by having to take one step 6 inches to their left, and having to shout.

[mair_in_grenderich]

I crawled along the cycle/foot-path out towards Sawston once, and slowed to walking pace behind a couple who hadn't noticed me. Of course I could have said something, or squeezed by, but on that occasion they told me off - when they did look around - for not ringing my bell. "Er, actually I didn't feel like ringing my bell, I was enjoying eavesdropping on your conversation". (No, I didn't *say* that :)

I used to hate it if other people thought I was wrong and I wasn't. I stopped caring somewhere along the way, at least with people I don't really know. Probably cured of it by too many internet idiots.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I used to hate it if other people thought I was wrong and I wasn't. I stopped caring somewhere along the way, at least with people I don't really know. Probably cured of it by too many internet idiots.

Yes, that says it. Maybe I should go and expose myself to idiots[1], so I get used to it -- it's lovely living in a bubble of people who mean what they say, but when you rub up on the edges it's very odd.

[1] STOP EFFING SNIGGERING! You know what I mean :)

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Well said. When you're drunk come and talk to me, I have a good protocol for aknowledging expertise (though eternally remind myself to be cautious aknowledging certainty -- certainty tends to depend on your credulity, not now, but when you first heard it, so if someone has a reason why I'm wrong I'm probably convinced, but if they just heard it their way, and aren't an expert, I'd like to check :)).

People generally don't mean it, but normal conversation doesn't have a very good of dealing with vast mental gulfs other than dropping it or letting whoever shouts loudest be assumed to be more knowledgeable :)