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jackWhat are presents? Shall we say, giving someone something they wouldn't have had otherwise. However, the reasons why they don't have that differ. For a child, it's probably "your parents haven't bought it yet." For many people, it's "I can't afford to buy that." However, a pleasant middle-class household *could* afford any thing they wanted, all the way up to £200,000 if they chose; but they can't afford *all* things, so you chose which to spend surplus income on. Then the limiting factor is almost "thoyling." A present to myself is something I can afford, that's fun, but that I'm being profligate for :) If you're actually pretty rich, then you have the "already got everything problem."
The *other* limiting factor is knowing you wanted something, or that something existed. That's why buying presents can be so difficult, you're looking for something you know someone would like, that they wouldn't. Meeting both factors is more "wow-ful" though meeting either is fine. For someone very rich, this is about the only way. For someone very poor, it's obviously better, but there would be many things you both know you want, that would be very acceptable. If you can't meet either, that's when you exchange book tokens, which is perfectly fine, but isn't special.
Of course, there are other things as well. You might give someone something they couldn't have for any combination of reasons including the above and: you were married to them didn't previously want them to; they would be embarrassed to buy it; they would have had to get it shipped from another country; etc.
This is why I like books. If you *really* want a book, you can buy it, but there are too many good books, so having that specific one is a little extra unjustified luxury. And there will *always* be books you might like but haven't read. It's difficult to know what, but at least you stand a *fair* chance of picking right :)
For myself, I always like:
* Things I didn't know I wanted, geek toys, etc.
* Music. I listen to almost no music, so if you want to impress your tastes upon me, try, please! :)
* Books. Pick something you like and think I might like, and it'll always be gratefully received.
* Chocolate. I don't *especially* like chocolate, but it's always very nice and I never buy it :)
The *other* limiting factor is knowing you wanted something, or that something existed. That's why buying presents can be so difficult, you're looking for something you know someone would like, that they wouldn't. Meeting both factors is more "wow-ful" though meeting either is fine. For someone very rich, this is about the only way. For someone very poor, it's obviously better, but there would be many things you both know you want, that would be very acceptable. If you can't meet either, that's when you exchange book tokens, which is perfectly fine, but isn't special.
Of course, there are other things as well. You might give someone something they couldn't have for any combination of reasons including the above and: you were married to them didn't previously want them to; they would be embarrassed to buy it; they would have had to get it shipped from another country; etc.
This is why I like books. If you *really* want a book, you can buy it, but there are too many good books, so having that specific one is a little extra unjustified luxury. And there will *always* be books you might like but haven't read. It's difficult to know what, but at least you stand a *fair* chance of picking right :)
For myself, I always like:
* Things I didn't know I wanted, geek toys, etc.
* Music. I listen to almost no music, so if you want to impress your tastes upon me, try, please! :)
* Books. Pick something you like and think I might like, and it'll always be gratefully received.
* Chocolate. I don't *especially* like chocolate, but it's always very nice and I never buy it :)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-02 02:54 pm (UTC)If you rephrase it as "People who have lots of money or whose parents have lots of money can generally get hold of lots of money", then I'd probably agree, though consider it a bit circular and wouldn't know why they didn't just come under "rich".
*I wouldn't dream of going into details of my *actual* family life or setup somewhere like this!
no subject
Date: 2007-01-02 03:46 pm (UTC)I think the "Mummy won't buy me a house" nonsense is preposterous and thought it was obviously so! I couldn't even begin to imagine asking my parents for handouts, could you?
To me it sounded like you thought I was implying many people would buy their children a house, which would be odd. But I didn't view cosigning expecting it not to be used as a handout (obviously not the right decision for everyone, but I wouldn't think someone was being carried if their parents did decide to do that).
OK, my original figure was a ridiculous stretch for many people. Possibly *just* within reach with *very severe* hardship and emotional blackmail :) But you're concentrating on the wrong thing with your rephrasing :)
Maybe the reference to the most you could possibly afford was rather misleading. I would never chose to give up everything else and buy something costing £n00,000 if I could. But I might decide between buying a new car or buying a thousand books, and it was supposed to illustrate that. So someone buying me a book isn't giving me something I *can't* have otherwise, but something I'm choosing not to. Which is good, but I think different.