Soft and Teal
Jan. 17th, 2007 07:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackThe top ten most useful things to say to someone asking if you have a camping stool he can buy. (Note, as normal in things said, this refers to saying truly. If it's not true, the order of utility is approximately reversed.)
10. The shop you're thinking of isn't here any more. It was levelled to make way for a new building site.
9. You want a WHAT?
8. What's that?
7. Que?
6. No.
5. No, but have you tried [otherplausibleshop]?
4. No, but here's my phone number. I have a thing for guys who don't have camping stools.
3. OK. How high?
2. That reminds me of an interesting philosophical logic puzzle I was thinking about the other day...
1. No, you don't want that, you want [this other thing] which [does the same thing] but [lots better] and [is lots cheaper]. Here's one.
Note, I didn't actually hear all of these. And I was glad to get some fresh air, or I wouldn't have gone looking.
For those who don't know, a camping stool, or folding stool, or fishing stool is a small canvas and rod attachment which collapses to small, and expands into a mini-stool. Useful for resting while walking if you don't want the ground, or an emergency extra seat.
The building site was on-top of the key cutting shop, and fortunately (a) there is a key cutting shop on the way from every shop to every other shop and (b) I didn't actually wander into the middle of the churned up earth, stepping blissfully from swinging girder to swinging girder, before speaking to thin air and finally noticing the change.
No-one was actually shocked, or didn't understand the concept *at all*.
No-one spoke no English, though one assistant's response didn't give me confidence that she knew what I wanted and would know if they had it but I hadn't correctly divided what label they sold it under.
Several people suggested plausible shops, often ones I'd just come from. In fact, Robert Sayle suggested a hiking shop which said "No, but a lot of people ask us that", who suggest Millets, who did have a selection of different sorts, and were obviously the right shop, but only in the spring.
No-one asked me out, though several people smiled at me in the street.
"How high" is the traditional supra-yes response, but actually made sense in this context.
No-one offered logic, nor a better alternative :)
10. The shop you're thinking of isn't here any more. It was levelled to make way for a new building site.
9. You want a WHAT?
8. What's that?
7. Que?
6. No.
5. No, but have you tried [otherplausibleshop]?
4. No, but here's my phone number. I have a thing for guys who don't have camping stools.
3. OK. How high?
2. That reminds me of an interesting philosophical logic puzzle I was thinking about the other day...
1. No, you don't want that, you want [this other thing] which [does the same thing] but [lots better] and [is lots cheaper]. Here's one.
Note, I didn't actually hear all of these. And I was glad to get some fresh air, or I wouldn't have gone looking.
For those who don't know, a camping stool, or folding stool, or fishing stool is a small canvas and rod attachment which collapses to small, and expands into a mini-stool. Useful for resting while walking if you don't want the ground, or an emergency extra seat.
The building site was on-top of the key cutting shop, and fortunately (a) there is a key cutting shop on the way from every shop to every other shop and (b) I didn't actually wander into the middle of the churned up earth, stepping blissfully from swinging girder to swinging girder, before speaking to thin air and finally noticing the change.
No-one was actually shocked, or didn't understand the concept *at all*.
No-one spoke no English, though one assistant's response didn't give me confidence that she knew what I wanted and would know if they had it but I hadn't correctly divided what label they sold it under.
Several people suggested plausible shops, often ones I'd just come from. In fact, Robert Sayle suggested a hiking shop which said "No, but a lot of people ask us that", who suggest Millets, who did have a selection of different sorts, and were obviously the right shop, but only in the spring.
No-one asked me out, though several people smiled at me in the street.
"How high" is the traditional supra-yes response, but actually made sense in this context.
No-one offered logic, nor a better alternative :)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-17 08:23 pm (UTC)(why do you want a camping stool?)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-18 02:03 am (UTC)* When I'm out walking and want to sit and watch the world go by for a bit, but don't feel like sitting on the ground
* If I'm in a may ball queue or something I can use it, or offer it to a friend, and then bike-lock it to something at the entrance :)
* If someone desperately wants to squeeze one more chair out of me at a dinner party, I can whip it out, whereas I can't justify buying more chair chairs (stacking stools maybe).
no subject
Date: 2007-01-17 11:03 pm (UTC)There's also a fishing tackle shop in Littleport which may be able to furnish you with such a thing, possibly with a discount if you buy five pints of maggots at the same time.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-18 02:05 am (UTC)