jack

well enough to know whether they will object :)

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karen2205

Presumably, well enough to have a key to their house....

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unless they have a combination lock (as a friend of ours who likes to have "open house" does) or keep the spare key somewhere friends know about

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karen2205

keep the spare key somewhere friends know about

I didn't realise anyone actually did this nowadays, if they ever did. It screams insecurity/invalid insurance policies etc to me.

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if they ever did

We certainly did, although it was only known to a few people, and was nothing as obvious as "under the plant pot by the doorstep".

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Of course, some people *do* have a key to my house. A *spare* key. The intention not being that they're part of the household, but that I need a spare somewhere in Cambridge in case I lose mine.

That doesn't necessarily mean I know them especially well -- I naturally chose my best friend, but I'd trust anyone I know not to steal my stuff, so if someone lived much nearer and I didn't mind asking, I might have asked them to keep it instead.

However, once they have it, they *could* let themselves in as much as someone else could. So I have the convenient option of saying "Hey, I'm out this afternoon but you're welcome to let yourself in and make coffee and log in to the internet as guest and get changed and dump your stuff and meet me later."

And they could jump the gun if they were meeting me and I was late.

But I had an awkward moment making it clear to one friend that I'd rather he didn't just *assume* it was ok without asking first.

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I don't think you can ever assume that whatever you expect "should" be acceptable or would consider acceptable for your own house is necessarily acceptable for someone else.
same applies to raiding the fridge while staying over, making yourself tea, dropping in uninvited, etc. all these things are fine for other people visiting me to do, but i know that other people /might/ mind and it's worth finding out and behaving accordingly :)

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calamarain.livejournal.com

Well enough to know they're fine with it, but also still letting them know you're coming beforehand

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1ngi.livejournal.com

Only by arrangement. Even if it is your Mum. Especially if it is your Mum - you might be indisposed!!!

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Mum is nice. She does come in, but very cautiously, after ringing, which is ok by me :) I can just imagine some parents storming straight in, assuming their childrens' houses are extensions of their own and of course there's no chance *anything* might be private :)

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I'm thinking of doors that are unlocked when someone's inside, obviously if it latches when it shuts or is always locked it's moot.

(Though I guess you might be a letting agent. That wasn't what I was thinking of, but I'd still ring first!)

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I thought it was pretty cheeky of my letting agents the month before I moved out when they started bringing visitors around without notifying me beforehand (they did knock before entering).

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(after I asked them to /let me know/ in advance, they didn't bring any more. at all. with or without letting me know.)

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*sigh* I don't understand them.

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Um, yes. Firstly, letting someone else in seems worse than coming themselves, though I don't know why.

Secondly, I thought they were legally required to give notice before coming[1]? If I misread the letter, that's my own fault :) But I thought there were strict rules against just coming round. I seem to maybe recall some provision for showing people round, but not a blanket one or something -- obviously letting oneself in at will is open to abuse!

[1] Oo-er.

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I thought they were legally required to give notice before coming

I thought they were required to give notice. eg I could be ill - one flat I was supposed to see when i was looking for this one, the viewing was postponed because the person was ill. I didn't check my contract though.

I don't think they had my landline, but they would have had my mobile from when I moved in. And they could always write.

They were basically efficient until the day they wrote to give me notice on the flat, and have been complete muppets in all my dealings with them since.

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They were basically efficient until the day they wrote to give me notice on the flat, and have been complete muppets in all my dealings with them since.

I guess that makes some sense, in an evil kind of way.

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I'd go into my parents house, because we still think of it a home even though I don't live there.

If I knew people well and knew the door opened onto a communal area, I might. In actual fact, I don't think I know anyone well enough :)

It might make a difference if it were a college room -- eg. playing assassins :)

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hm, do you mean if they are there, or they aren't there?

In my house, I would expect visitors to knock on the door first, especially if they weren't expected, but if I wasn't in they could make their way in and wait. or if it was 3am. if the house was bigger knocking on the door could be replaced with coming in through the door and shouting "hello" while strolling through the house.

I have friends whom I know I can do the same with, but other friends whom I think would be uncomfortable with their house being entered if they aren't here...

does the situation change if you are waiting for them and it's raining hard?

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I meant if they are there... if they're not there the door shouldn't be open!

I'd *always* expect people to ring, but if they were expected fairly precisely then I'd expect to be ready. And if I wasn't there and the door were open coming in would be as sane as any other choice.

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my block of flats has a combination for entry, and generally I leave the door to my own flat unlocked.

my friends in lincoln whom we visit have a combination on their door. some of their friends just come in (and call "hello"), some of them always ring. maybe ringing and then coming through the door is a sane choice in that case (alert them to your presence and then making your way in to find them); it's a big house, and the doors all go into hallways; whereas my current flat the door opens onto the "bedroom".

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It depends. What is your intent for the visit, and do they have lots of expensive stuff?

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Which way does that incline you? :)

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what was your intent for the visit? :)

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Coffee is a drug.

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Love is a drug.

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Let me know when I can buy it in bottled liquid form.

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bottled liquid pandas ftw.

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Bonsai Kitten is the closest you can get (NSFW).

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I don't think we should look at specifics here. More important is the conclusion that I am a good person to look after one of your spare keys.

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So far I have three, one at work, one with an oldest friend who lives in Milton, and one with an oldest friend who often visits. I don't think I need more, though if you are capable of keeping a key somewhere and being able to reliably find it again on short order, I might consider :)

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Just to check though... you do have expensive stuff?

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Love, happiness, two years of programming experience... Not that can be taken by force.

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Hmm... I seem to remember lots of cool books and DVDs :P

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I'm not sure how effective fencing books is, however good, though I appreciate the rating :) There's also some lap-sized calculating machines and an i music and video playing device and a dvd making-be-burnt box and a credit card, but I thought best not to mention it all in public just in case any burglar's out there googling for targets :)

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ravingglory.livejournal.com

I only let myself in to the house of people who have explicitly given me permission to do so.

(Well unless you count sneaking into peoples rooms and leaving cookies, but if they were there I wouldn't have to.)

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ghoti.livejournal.com

Our parents don't let themselves in - I usually do when I visit my mother, because she's usually in bed when we get there.

I think it's 'by arrangement'.

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chess

This mostly depends on the person. People unexpectedly coming into My Territory can expect screaming, panicking and violence. Even Nicholas knows to say something when he comes in the door so that I know it's him.

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