Patriarchy: Stalking Edition

Welcome to your unscheduled rant. I've been watching a bit of Aaron Sorkin's sportsnight. Mostly it's pretty good, Sorkin's strengths of emotional heart, endearing and slightly klutzy characters, witty banter and optimistic dedication are prominently on display. West Wing was about a more serious topic, but on the other hand, West Wing was sharply constrained by not departing too far from reality. And I hear newsroom was well written but tried to be more serious and was even more pompous.

But there's one vile plotline in the first series, which sadly came on almost exactly the one or two episodes I happened to watch when Liv was in the room to see. Sorry about that.

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Friday Five: Christmas Q1

https://thefridayfive.dreamwidth.org/84948.html

OK, this one will ALSO be long :)

1. Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas – which one do you use?

Oh gosh. My impression is that in (some parts/some contexts in) America an originally fairly minor distinction has become massively polarised by people who object to the thinking behind whatever they consider the "wrong" answer. And certainly, I like it when people make an effort to be inclusive, and dislike it when people pointedly object to any attempt to be inclusive. So if I'm in that situation, I'd rather choose the more inclusive greeting!

But that hasn't actually been my habit. If I was in a situation where I needed to give a festive greeting to everyone I met, I probably would choose "Happy Holidays" as a compromise to avoid guessing which people would like a "Merry Christmas" and which wouldn't, but I'm usually not.

And obviously, if I'm talking to someone I know or suspect doesn't celebrate Christmas, I'll use my best judgement if they'd rather be included anyway, or they feel Christmas is too overbearing already.

I'm not sure if "Happy Christmas" is less pointed in the UK, or if I'm just less aware how much people of non-Christmas cultures don't like it. I should have asked before now :(

But I also have a nagging feeling that "Happy Holidays", while well meaning and generally positive, has connotations I don't completely buy into. Like, it's easy to fall into a trap of assuming the way to be inclusive is to give everyone the appropriate equivalent for their culture, as if there's "Jewish Christmas", "Islamic Christmas", etc, etc all in December. And there's some truth to that -- lots of cultures do have a big "it's dark, lets do something with fire" celebration. But it's not a very good analogy. Hannukah is an awesome festival, but traditionally isn't one of the most important ones. Some Jews do enjoy making Hannukah "Jewish Christmas", but lots of Jews don't. And Islamic festivals are typically tied to the lunar year and don't happen at a specific month in the Gregorian calendar at all. Etc.

Like, yay multiculturalism! But maybe better to ask people in different cultures what's most useful (recognising when in the year their most important events are would be a good start in many cases, for instance), rather than adapting Christmas celebrations.

I think it's also that it might be that in America Thanksgiving makes it feel like there's a big spread of winter holidays maybe including Halloween, but from Thanksgiving through New Year? Whereas I'm not used to feeling that's a thing, I used to associate December with *looking forward* to Christmas, and feel like "the holidays" were Christmas day through New Year.

Friday Five: Christmas Q2-5

https://thefridayfive.dreamwidth.org/84948.html

2. Do you own an ugly Christmas sweater?

No. I vaguely remember there being a stereotype of ugly christmas sweaters, but I don't remember it being a thing that everyone deliberately did! Now it seems that it is. I sort of like the tradition, as it happens, but I never got into the habit of it.

But it comes up at work and similar often enough I think I would like to have something I can wear. Maybe a Christmas jumper with C++ on it, appropriately syntax highlighted red and green. Or a christmas-jumper-style waistcoat. It's on my list to seek out.

It also happens, I hate wearing "more clothes". I never really liked wearing jumpers, even when I had to for temperature reasons, I'd always want to strip them off as soon as I could. Only now am I wondering if that's a mild version of the sort of sensory issue people talk about (even though I'm fine with my "normal" clothes of jeans+t-shirt or trousers+shirt).

3. Do you celebrate the Winter Solstice?

Several friends do, and I like just about everything about the idea, the focus on returning light, the fire in the darkness, the astronomical connection. But I haven't started doing it regularly because it's just not what I've traditionally done.

4. Now that you are ‘in the know,’ what would you leave out for St. Nick on the 24th?

I'm not sure what you mean about being in the know? I think I would leave the same things whether or not I was in the know. Although I don't as I think of it as a custom we only do with children in the house. I think we used to leave a mince pie, a glass of wine (preferably either sherry or Dad's fearsome homemade wine), and sometimes a carrot. I would probably leave out something as close to that as I could.

Although now I think about it, that seems a bit mean. The reindeer do a LOT of the work, surely we can stretch to one carrot *each*? And I bet he's bored of mince pies, maybe some chocolate and fruit, or a big plate of something to load up on, would be a nice change?

5. Tired of the snow and icky weather yet? For those fortunate folks in the other hemisphere, are you tired of the humidity and hot weather?

When winter started I was very ready for it to be over. I really resent the earlier evenings. But by the solstice I'm usually used to it, and just about getting to enjoy being cosy inside while the night is all outside. And having christmas-in-winter-y thoughts. So now we're actually here I don't feel as strongly any more.