2. Eat fiery badger death!
May. 23rd, 2007 01:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jack"Many of our offers are available on our website, srvc.blah.tld. If you have access to the internet, you may choose to browse, blah, blah."
Believe it or not, I'd actually prefer to sort everything out online. If there's a clear list of choices, I can work out what I want and choose it. I can do it in my own time, at any time, at any rate I please, without having to second guess people. A helpful person is fine, but I don't like my odds of getting one.
But since the offers actually aren't on the website, this very long, extended message mainly wants me want to crush your puny phone within my fist and throw it through the window. Now maaaaybe after that I'd buy a new one. But I'm more likely to
2a. Flame you to a crisp and wish you to be eaten by fiery badgers to fiants , and:
2b. Go to another company
NB: I checked in the dictionary when writing insult 2a (I'd already written the title) and "fiants" honest to god is a special word for badger excrement (or ox, wolf or boar). I really really really really really cannot make this shit up.
PS: People who say English has lots of words have a point. I don't know if it's more than other languages, but there's something fundamentally endearing that "badger shit" wasn't enough, hunters used it so often they had a special word.
PS: There are lots more. Start with http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_287b.html and read "The Once and Future King" and google for the terms mentioned. Guano is the very least of it.
Believe it or not, I'd actually prefer to sort everything out online. If there's a clear list of choices, I can work out what I want and choose it. I can do it in my own time, at any time, at any rate I please, without having to second guess people. A helpful person is fine, but I don't like my odds of getting one.
But since the offers actually aren't on the website, this very long, extended message mainly wants me want to crush your puny phone within my fist and throw it through the window. Now maaaaybe after that I'd buy a new one. But I'm more likely to
2a. Flame you to a crisp and wish you to be eaten by fiery badgers to fiants , and:
2b. Go to another company
NB: I checked in the dictionary when writing insult 2a (I'd already written the title) and "fiants" honest to god is a special word for badger excrement (or ox, wolf or boar). I really really really really really cannot make this shit up.
PS: People who say English has lots of words have a point. I don't know if it's more than other languages, but there's something fundamentally endearing that "badger shit" wasn't enough, hunters used it so often they had a special word.
PS: There are lots more. Start with http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_287b.html and read "The Once and Future King" and google for the terms mentioned. Guano is the very least of it.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-23 12:24 am (UTC)I really really really really really cannot make this shit up.
"I really really really really really cannot make this fiants up." ?
no subject
Date: 2007-05-23 12:30 am (UTC)"I really really really really really cannot make this fiants up." ?
LOL. Yes, that's where I was going with this.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-23 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-23 12:36 am (UTC)(What was it doing?)
Breaking important things never seems worth it, so I stop myself doing that. Breaking stuff that doesn't matter doesn't help, unless it's REALLY big and shatterriffic. Very occasionally I lose it and punch walls. I TRY and relax :) I haven't QUITE reached a compromise with the universe yet, I'm working on it.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-23 12:44 am (UTC)I want a punchbag ...
Yeah, there was this time when I wanted to hit someone or something, when I was small, and my parents told me to hit my teddy bear instead, and I said that was no good as it didn't squeak satisfyingly. So my dad held up a sofa cushion, and I bashed the cushion, and my dad squeaked.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-23 12:53 am (UTC)Just before you threw it out the window! :)
"So my dad held up a sofa cushion, and I bashed the cushion, and my dad squeaked."
Aww! That's wonderful.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-23 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-23 08:05 am (UTC)That shit kills kids. It's infianticide.
Let's get acquainted My name is Tomas!
Date: 2007-06-29 08:20 am (UTC)My name is Tomas!