Work in Progress, Discworld fic "Recursive Herbology"

[jack]

It's annoying, after playing around with Saldini II for ages, I wrote 5000 words of this last night. I think it's because:

(1) PTerry's characters are better than mine, so easier to write with.
(2) Aiming for something short quickly written means I can just get on with it without pressure to make it *right*, which works better.

Basic plot: a mysterious and cryptic murder of the professer of Recursive Herbology[1] in the unseen university sends Ridcully to Vimes for help, where he interrupts a thieves guild protection expiry riot. ∃ female wizard.

If you want to see, there's a link here: http://www.srcf.ucam.org/~jv233/fic/recursiveherbology005a.htm

I'm afraid: (1) I don't know if I'll finish it, so I decided to share what I had. If you like finsihed things, please ignore it. (2) It's in MSWord html. Sorry, I couldn't be bothered to do it properly.

PS. It's compeltely unrelated to the last story http://www.srcf.ucam.org/~jv233/fic/graveyardshift_beta_1.php, but that's probably better, so it might be best to read it first.

Update: fixed dodgy html

Comments

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

*whines* Jack, it's too wide. I'm going to have to copy and paste!

*sulks*

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Doh! Sorry, entirely my fault. Fixed.

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

It's a bit late! *pouts*

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I know, but it might help someone else.

In fact, what I should do is write a script that converts from rtf to html automatically, then I can just upload the rtf.

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

The first paragraph confused me, but I soon got into it and liked it. I don't like the 'X: blah blah blah; Y: uh huh' format, but you dropped that quite quickly.

Like the 'piles of paper' jokes. I adore the 'wizard not bright enough to go mwahaha' joke.

Some of the phrasing is a little awkward - it's not always immediately obvious what's going on, but you said you're planning another edit, so I'm guessing you'll pick up on stuff then.

Um, I'm about a third through but am really tired - will read more tomorrow

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

OK, I'm back.

I lurve the 'don't step outside the octagons' joke. Priceless. I love that Carrot's taking notes! Cold shiver machine: LMAO!

*dies at the Beavis joke, and hoots out loud*

Did I mention that I adore Ponder and Carrot, and that the combination of them makes me SQUEE!

Great tenure joke.

Carrot and cluedo! *chuckles*

Yay! Rincewind next!

TO summarise: I really like it, especially the combo of wizards and Vimes/Carrot The start's a little slow, and some of the phrasing is a little awkward, but that just needs a little editing.

*squees into the sunset*

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

*loves you* Thank you. I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reading it!

Re: phrasing. Yeah, my phrasing is *always* stilted. It's something I always do, think I won't do next time, etc. I constantly need to be kicked about it, as otherwise I reform sentences as little as possible, when I should be more sweeping. It is part of my style, but I think it'll still be quite evident even if I try as hard as possible to write clearly so I just need to do it.

Re: Carrot and Ponder and Rincewind. Yes, in a way it makes it too easy to write when you can just combine two characters that PTerry never got round to making meet :) Carrot was in my last fic too, though that one was mostly Vimes. I do love the guards. Though I didn't feel I was really getting best use from C and P, (or V or R) -- most of the time they seemed to be just doign things anyone could have.

Re: Jokes. It's interesting: you liked some jokes I thought were just throwaways that didn't really matter. It just shows that everyone likes different things and I shouldn't leave anything out.

Re: Beavis. I hated myself for putting it in, but I knew you'd love it and I couldn't resist. Eventually I managed to write it into the plot. Did you think the crudity was too gratuitous?

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

Phrasing: I always edit my stuff a couple of times before I send it to you (boring but necessary) and then you still manage to pick up on things I miss. I do like your style, but it shouldn't interfere with the rading.

It's sort of a cliche, but I think it can be the throwaway lines that make the fic. Writing good plot isn't easy, but getting into the overall feel is harder.

Don't take the Beavis joke out! Please? *eyes glisten* I felt so special and loved! A little gratuitous maybe, but what the hell

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Phrasing: I always edit my stuff a couple of times before I send it to you (boring but necessary) and then you still manage to pick up on things I miss. I do like your style, but it shouldn't interfere with the rading.

It's inevitable that there's diminishing returns in checking something; anyone else can always spot that last little overlooked thing. And that's even leaving aside that the author finds it harder to change things e's written.

It's sort of a cliche, but I think it can be the throwaway lines that make the fic. Writing good plot isn't easy, but getting into the overall feel is harder.

Apparently so. Sometimes inspiration strikes, and you get a perfect joke, or poem, or paragraph, and other times you labour for hours to get something that good.

Don't take the Beavis joke out! Please? *eyes glisten* I felt so special and loved! A little gratuitous maybe, but what the hell

Awww. No, I think it's integral now. But it's too easy to include in jokes and innuendo wherever you can, which is too much; I did my best to leave some other 'heh' moments out...

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

I remember, erm, I think it might have been Eric Clapton or one of the Beatles saying that great songs are the ones that come into your head when you're labouring on something else.

So 'Just another mission' did have a purpose ;)

I did my best to leave some other 'heh' moments out...

One's very funny, multiple won't work. I salute your caution

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

So 'Just another mission' did have a purpose ;)

LOL. Good point.

One's very funny, multiple won't work. I salute your caution

It was hard and I kept getting tempted by 'Pussy' but came through and didn't go there in the end. Heh, heh, heh. Sorry. Uh, yes, both "heh" specifically and innuendo generally I fought to keep only the best. Like convoluted sentecnes I probably could have removed more, but at least it's mostly safe :)

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

Good call on the pussy thing, really! My father uses that word, insisting it doesn't have sexual connotations, and then I have to slap him on the head and shout 'Duh!'. Well, I don't actually slap him, but you know what I mean.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

No, actually, I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. I mean, I know you don't literally hit him, but uses it in what context? What?

And good call? I didn't plan it, the mer-lion thing just came to me, and then it seemed too obvious a joke to be able to pass up. I tried to make it obvious without saying it, it true PTerry style, but don't think it worked at all...

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

As a 'fucking idiot', but he keeps insisting that it comes from 'pussy-cat'. Which, maybe it does, sort of, but that's not the association I make when I hear it.

TBH, I didn't get the pussy joke thing, but it seems obvious in retrospect...