My morning, as a sitcom ("Greenenders", with thanks to Pete)

[jack]

Some people have lives told in Shakespearean style. Bleak house. Austen. Saki. Anything. I have sitcom. Oh well :)

This will be represented as a rapid sequence of scene cuts, as I move from one bike shop to the other. Some humour will be evinced in repetition, some in breaking the repetition.

** 'blinds' transition **
Me: I see you have a selection. What's the difference between this £100 bike, and this £130 bike?
Him: *gormless look* It costs more. It has a, uuuhh, *looks at bike* better frame. And different coloured gears.
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: So, do you have any bikes less tall than I am for under £230 pounds?
Him: No.
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: I'm looking for a town bike?
Him: *shocked look*
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: I'm looking for a bike?
Him: I'm sorry sir, this is a hardware store.
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: Two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun.
Him: I'm sorry sir, this is subway.
** series of shots of me muching through a sandwich looking tired **
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: I'm looking for a town bike?
** long pan down ten meter long row of off-road bikes costing £300 **
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: I'm looking for a town bike?
Him: Why are you late for work?
Me: Well, I was *going* to ride in...

*sigh* And all those 0.14s transitions took me half an hour of walking. At least I had a book and a plot to write. But I'm 5'10 or 5'11, I'm not *that* short.

I thought it might be as easy as last time. Where else should I go?

Comments

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

We could swap. I want a shorter non-off-road bike. And am ok with pink so long as the bike works :)

Do they really do that? I mean, surely most people at 20+ spending £100 on a bike might be ignorant, though that's equally insulting, but do *any* want pink frills? Other than Edith? :)

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Consider the huge number of undergraduates who come to Cambridge in order to set themselves up with a nice rich man and have babies and spend almost as much time saying "Laike aa maiy gud, hev yeu seeeeen the gayl in my staircase, she ac'sh'laaay hends in supervision work, hay unfeshionable" as they do in lectures. Yes, there are a plenty large number who want trendy accessories more than they want the brakes to actually work.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I suppose so. Oh well, I'm sure Darwin will make it all ok.