My morning, as a sitcom ("Greenenders", with thanks to Pete)

[jack]

Some people have lives told in Shakespearean style. Bleak house. Austen. Saki. Anything. I have sitcom. Oh well :)

This will be represented as a rapid sequence of scene cuts, as I move from one bike shop to the other. Some humour will be evinced in repetition, some in breaking the repetition.

** 'blinds' transition **
Me: I see you have a selection. What's the difference between this £100 bike, and this £130 bike?
Him: *gormless look* It costs more. It has a, uuuhh, *looks at bike* better frame. And different coloured gears.
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: So, do you have any bikes less tall than I am for under £230 pounds?
Him: No.
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: I'm looking for a town bike?
Him: *shocked look*
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: I'm looking for a bike?
Him: I'm sorry sir, this is a hardware store.
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: Two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun.
Him: I'm sorry sir, this is subway.
** series of shots of me muching through a sandwich looking tired **
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: I'm looking for a town bike?
** long pan down ten meter long row of off-road bikes costing £300 **
** 'blinds' transition **
Me: I'm looking for a town bike?
Him: Why are you late for work?
Me: Well, I was *going* to ride in...

*sigh* And all those 0.14s transitions took me half an hour of walking. At least I had a book and a plot to write. But I'm 5'10 or 5'11, I'm not *that* short.

I thought it might be as easy as last time. Where else should I go?

Comments

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

*sigh* It's more no-one seemed at all happy to see me. If you don't want customers, couldn't you shut or something, rather than just glaring at people who come in and make them feel guilty?

Second hand. It would suit me fine, but last time I looked there seemed to be little, presumably because there was much demand and only a surge of supply every june...

[miss-next.livejournal.com]

You possibly need to get to know dave_rainbow. Not that his retail business will be of any direct interest to you unless you have any good reason to buy lingerie or jewellery, but you will be much cheered by his attitude to the way a retailer ought to behave... and he does put it into practice magnificently, I must say.

Never feel guilty about being in a shop. If for some obscure reason the retailer doesn't want your custom, that's their loss, not yours!

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

*hug* Thank you.

The things is, *last* time the people in the same shops *were* polite, nice and helpful. I suppose if he knows he's not going to sell anything, there's no point, but this time I was if anything better dressed and more determined to give someone money in the next ten minutes than last time! :)

[mair_in_grenderich]

there's a roundabout, near newnham village, on the end of the fen causeway, where they sometimes have ex-hire bikes cheap and second hand. I've always been a bit suspcious - presumably they're ex for a reason ...