Self-monitoring

[jack]

It occurs to me, that if I'm getting stressed by a situation, I feel compelled not to let that out in public, which is a very laudable aim, but typically backfires. Since I feel I can't show any stress until I have to, it means (i) I subconsciously want to boil over just a little earlier as a way to stop getting loaded with more stress and (ii) I've no way to escape until I totally implode.

I think it partly comes from socially-unaware and perfectionist tendencies: if you tend to equate any form of failure with "I might as well not bother", you subconsciously assume it's better to hold on as long as possible in the hope that you get through without any failure. Whereas for normal people, admitting a small failure now is better than holding on five more minutes and then imploding :)

Rather than going on thinking "I'm fine, I can hold on longer", it would be more useful if I could recognise when I was shortly going to run out of reserve, and get out somehow earlier. That might be rude, but presumably better than waiting till I implode. But I don't really have any practice at actually doing so, as I only just found the words to explain what I think was going on.

Comments

[catyak]

A classic response at a previous employment. Meeting going on in room right next to door to car park. Idiot irritating everyone else in the meeting. One chap says 'excuse me', gets up, goes out to the car park, gives a good long "AAaaarrrrgggghhh!" scream, comes back in, sits down and acts as if nothing has happened. Idiot not quite sure what was happening, everyone else trying not to laugh.

D