Can I spell that for you?

[jack]

If you don't know whether someone has your name on a computer in front of them or not, is there any polite way to spell it or offer to spell it?

* Trust them to ask if necessary. But then if they do need to write it down they often don't ask and get it wrong.
* Just spell it. This seems pushy, especially if they already know because the phone number, or first two letters, or whatever, is enough to bring up an existing record in their database, or aren't ready to write it down yet.
* Say "Can I spell that for you?" This is what I normally do, and has worked up to now, when someone said no, he was fine. No you're not! I'm sorry, it wasn't my choice, but there's no way of telling the spelling from the pronunciation.
* Say "It's an unusual spelling, if you don't know it already I'll have to spell it for you. I'm sorry this sentence is so long, but I have to explain that I'm not implicitely assuming ignorance on your part,"

Perhaps I should stick with #3. After all, it's reasonable that if someone assumes you can tell them it's unusual. But I have a particularly adverse reaction to people correcting assumptions, it always seems implicitely insulting.

Or go with 4. But it seems too much of a mouthful, that can't be fun for them either.

Mum, what do you do?

Comments

this happens a lot

[mair_in_grenderich]

-what name is it?

-Mair, Allen-Williams

-Williams, right

-*Allen*-Williams. That's ay-double-el-*ee*-en-*hyphen*-williams

Oh, sorry. I thought you said...

[sillytrippy.livejournal.com]

I go with #2. But there are at least three different spellings of "Sean" (four if you include the right version of that with the fada/accent, but I'm not going to risk LJ mangling that), so it's really just telling people which of them it is, and I can't see how that'd be rude. Even without clear ambiguities like that, I really can't see how it'd be rude though...

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

At least that's fairly short. "Sean, S-E-A-N, Surname" doesnt' really waste anyone's time, so there's no harm in saying it every time. But listing my ten letters definitely requires them to stop and think about it.

[sillytrippy.livejournal.com]

Well, I generally spell the surname as well, as people tend to get it wrong. That brings me up to nine...

[saraphale.livejournal.com]

What mostly works for me is correcting the most common mistake in the same tone of voice, just after you've said your name. In my case, "with no 'i'". Sometimes people ignore it and insert and 'i' anyway, other times they get me to confirm the spelling. Either way, because I sound like I've added the correction in a monotone, force-of-habit way, people don't take it personally.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Ah, that would work. Unfortunately, the whole second half of my name is not really how you'd expect. The 'e' in the middle would be an 'a' naturally, and if that were the only change I could say it, but as it is I often spell the whole thing, and when I get to that people rush ahead and spell the end how they want while I'm trying to cut them off with all my extraneous letters.

Either way, because I sound like I've added the correction in a monotone, force-of-habit way, people don't take it personally.

That's clever.

[miss-next.livejournal.com]

I do something very similar - "that's with an E, not with an A". :-)

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

May I have your name?" the cashier asks.

"Ghossein Dhatsghabyfaird-Johnson."

The cashier glances in confusion before asking, "How do you spell that?"

"With a hyphen." (http://www.lifeslittleannoyances.com/node/118)

[miss-next.livejournal.com]

*splorf*

And then you get annoying linguists like me who casually turn to the latest Indian interviewee at work and say, "How is it you pronounce your surname, by the way? Is it Mullaivasal Narayanaswamy?" At this point, Mr Mullaivasal Narayanaswamy practically falls down the stairs with shock because I'm the first person to pronounce his name correctly in the last n years.

[saraphale.livejournal.com]

Another thought, though. How do you deal with people who can't copy down the letters you're reading out to them? If I have to spell out my surname, people will often add extra letters. I still can't think of a polite way of explaining that they have no listening comprehension.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I generally say "I'm sorry, that's [correction]"

After all, I do understand, especially if you do it all day, your brain stumbling at one point when it *thinks* it knows the answer; or if you're used to different letters; so imply that it's an obvious mistake anyone could make, and I'm just providing a slight clarification.

What's worst is when you're eg. on the phone, and you *think* they've messed it up twice in a row, but can't be sure, and have to find a polite way to say "I know you told me everything was fine, but that's what you said the last two times. Could you read it back to me anyway, just so I can check? Again?"

[senji.livejournal.com]

With a five-letter surname I just spell it automatically :).

[rochvelleth.livejournal.com]

I think 'Jack' is quite easy to spell :)

Seriously though, I *sometimes* say 'Steele with an 'e'' as a matter of course (generally when I know that the spelling of my name matters, like over the phone to the bank or something), but often don't offer any spelling at all (usually if I know the spelling doesn't matter).

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I remember someone giving similar advice about ordering cola in fast food restaurants. They wanted a diet coke, asked for a "diet coke" and got a coke because people can only listen to so much. They said they started asking for a "diet" and this mostly worked because: where they went had a default sort; if they ask for clarification they'll remember both sorts; if you're in a pepsi house and don't care which you don't have to say "yes, a pepsi's fine" every time they ask.

How often do they write it "Stel"? :(

[rochvelleth.livejournal.com]

*lol*

They often write it 'Steel'!

(And surprisingly often 'Steal'...)

[vyvyan.livejournal.com]

I always spell both my names to people over the phone, immediately after saying them, because they're unusual enough that I can't imagine anyone feeling I was being rude implying they didn't know already.

[cornute.livejournal.com]

At work, one of our common clients has me ask for both the caller's name and their child's name (about whom they're calling). There are only two ways to really annoy me:

1. --May I have your name?
--Lisa Schwarz.
--How do you spell Schwarz? (with my fingers hovering at SCHWAR over the T key)
--S-c-h-w-a-r-z.
--Thank you, and your child's name?
--Mackynzee-Bayleigh* Schwarz, S-c-h-w-a-r-z.
(Thanks, but I knew how to spell that bit by now, since I've typed it in three seconds ago and it's right in front of my eyes!)
I've actually even had people, umprompted, spell last names which I could think of NO possible alternate spelling for, ignoring that their first names had four or five possible spellings. My least favorite is Kathy/Kathi/Cathy/Cathi, because "Kathy with a y" isn't helpful enough.

2.
--How do you spell that?
--J...(pause of one second) A...(pause of one second)

I am a professional phone monkey (or "telecommunications primate" as we like to say) and my job requires me to type 90 wpm so that I can keep up with nurses blathering vital signs, names, and prescription medications at me while they're running down the hall. Ninety words per minute is 540 keystrokes per minute, which means I type nine times faster than people are willing to dole out the information.

Of course, if they say it as fast as I can type, they're going to slur the letters and I won't get it-- I find that spelling one's name at a comfortably fast speed of 3-4 letters per second is quite sufficient to get it spelt and done with before either of us rolls our eyes.

Of course, I'm very lucky, my boss doesn't directly rate my job performance on how brief my calls are-- however, there can be someone waiting on hold behind my caller, who might appreciate the extra 20 seconds of not having to wait for them to spell their name at glacial speed.

If you're not sure how fast 3-4 letters per second is, think of the 80's pop song "867-5309". And now try NOT to think of it...

Corrvin (who can spell my full name in 3 seconds)

---

*I'm quite cantankerous over this new rule, "A boy's name becomes a girl's name when you've mangled the spelling."

[tig-b.livejournal.com]

You may not be able to think of any alternative spellings but I have been asked how to spell my surname in the UK ... their response to me spelling it out very slowly was: 'Oh it's like William with an 's' then!'


and one of the staff directories at work had my name as 'Wiilaims' for several months in spite of 4 attempts to get it corrected.

[cornute.livejournal.com]

"You may not be able to think of any alternative spellings but I have been asked how to spell my surname in the UK ... their response to me spelling it out very slowly was: 'Oh it's like William with an 's' then!'"

I can think of plenty of alternate spellings, but chances are, in our little state (1.5 million population) if someone has an unusual name, and you know only ONE other person in the state with that name, they're probably related and it's the same name (Catlett, for instance; there's only one spelling of it, a prominent family who supported OU and sponsored their huge music building).

Yay, small states and predictable spellings!

[megamole.livejournal.com]

www.utahnames.com

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

I assume people can generally parse groups of letters: you can hear and remember 'daem' all by itself, there's no need to get each letter. But I feel forced to wait a moment between groups, which probably does make it slow because once you've gone even a touch too fast they didn't hear any of it for sure, and if you try to repeat it you get it twice so you end up having to reread the whole word back...

Fortunately many people give feedback, an "uh" as they're finishing lets you come up to speed quickly, without having to keep asking if they're ready.

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

I just say "Read, that's R-E-A-D" or "Read, like a book".

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Sharp without an E
Then they have to ask me to say the name again, but they damn well remember it doesn't have an E!

What I usually do

[rcv1.livejournal.com]

>Mum, what do you do?

I blame your dad

Re: What I usually do

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

ROFL! Of course.

Though, actually, probably more like my greatgranddad -- someone back there actualy started shifting the spelling away from "vicarage" :)

[sunflowerinrain.livejournal.com]

Spell it. Make them read it back.

I never used to be tough enough (it seems so impolite), and now there are so many variants of my name in official documents that I can't find 3 that match for ID purposes in an application for yet another piece of paper.

[yrieithydd.livejournal.com]

I have the opposite problem with my surname. I default to spelling my Christian name because it's unusual in England, but I periodically get asked how to spell my surname which is two common words stuck together and I'm not sure how else one could spell it. Generally I just say the two parts separately!

The other problem is that there is a more common surname with a different second element (a forest not a Kentish hill) and people convert my name into that.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Yes. Though fortunately saying "Like [word][pause][word]" *should* work, however justified their fears that because they don't know it it might be mad and/or welsh :)