jack: (Default)
Alien: If it's better, why isn't all your food "fair"?
Me: There are many things I am ashamed of about out society.
Alien: What is "guilt-free" food? Is it like fair food, but even more so?
Me: Many many things.
jack: (Default)
Simont: Is there a set of players each of whom plays a single win-or-lose game against each other player, where every pair of players has a third player who beat both?
Jack: *thinks*
Jack: Yes.
Simont: Not that one.


Dec. 16th, 2009 12:51 pm
jack: (Default)
On movie inconsistencies

"I used to hate how the T1000 could fly a helicopter AND fire a gun. It wasn't until repeated viewings, that I noticed he had three arms."
-- sacramentalist

An obvious pun in wikipedia

"Fire play is a type of BDSM play ... if so intended, it can permanently brand the skin of the bottom. " --wikipedia

What I don't understand is, why it seems to actually work:

"Believing this statement will make you happier."
-- Ryan Lortie


"First I had my cookie therapist, who is a cookie therapist because she is made of cookies, which is like being made of awesome except better."
-- hatam_soferet

Ian J: "I think we should use a fusion reactor only in orbit, where the reaction can be gravitationally contained in a stable manner. We could beam the power down wherever people needed it, and collect it in vast banks of photoelectic cells in the desert or something."
Everyone: *long pause*
Everyone: *long pause* "Oh! You mean the sun?"

"You could create two databases, one called sitea and one called siteb, in your single MySQL process ... You can also use phpBB's $table_prefix feature for this purpose, but three out of four nerds agree that the two-database way is "better."
-- NearlyFreeSpeech.net FAQ

"I believe the iPhone will ultimately be judged a more important product than the original Apple Macintosh. ...Yes, I am dead serious. Just check back here in fifteen to twenty years to see if I was right. (Hint: I will be.)"
-- Jeff Atwood, Coding horror

Ferrett: Would Casablanca have been as cool if in Casablanca 2: Electric Boogaloo, Victor Lazlo died and Rick and Ilse got together? No. No. A thousand times, no.
Bradhicks: Actually, Ferret, [in As time goes by, the authorised sequel ] Victor Lazlo does die off and Ilsa marries Rick
Bradhicks: Satire is hard, eh?
Ferrett: ...


Apr. 15th, 2009 11:10 am
jack: (Default)
Mark Rosewater

"At the end of one class, she asked for us to write a short story about a college student having breakfast and at the end of the next she asked us to write a short story about a serial killer having breakfast. When we turned the second paper in, she had the class discuss the differences between the two assignments."
-- Mark Rosewater

"But I was a smart alec, and submitted the same essay both times."
-- me

The original class went on (I think) to decide that it was easier because they were familiar with college students, but not with serial killers, so would need to do a lot of research for that. My philosophical point is that the chilling thing is, most of the time, a serial killer is just like everyone else.

Edsger Dijkstra

"The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim."
-- Edsger Dijkstra

"The question of whether a human can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim."
-- me

I liked this quote because it gets truer the more you look at it. It doesn't necessarily say the question is uninteresting, but that it's likely irrelevant to whatever you wanted to do. I decided to generalise this and apply it with gay abandon to any meaning of any word I wanted to temporarily mock out of existence.


Oct. 1st, 2008 03:21 pm
jack: (Default)
> > PS. Please limit comments to the question asked.
> I think the question asked is inane.

"We Googled the sentence: "Jar Jar, you're a genius". Up until today, that short English sentence appeared nowhere on the Internet. Darths & Droids: Breaking new dimensions in originality."
-- Darths and Droids.

"Then I found some spaceships I didn’t remember building, flying around my home world. They didn’t respond to my commands, and it wasn’t until just before they began bombing the place that I realized why."
-- Seamus Young

"I don’t know what these are for. The one looks like some of the cables already inside of my computer, except this one doesn’t shock me when I lick the contacts."
-- Seamus Young

"Annual Movie-plot threat contest. For this contest, the goal is to create fear... a fear that you can alleviate through the sale of your new product idea. There are lots of risks out there, some of them serious, some of them so unlikely that we shouldn't worry about them, and some of them completely made up. ... Special mention for his Safe-T-Nav, a GPS system that detects high crime zones. It would be a semi-finalist, but it already exists."
-- Bruce Schneier

"Every Arabic word has a basic meaning, a second meaning which is the exact opposite of the first, a third meaning which refers to either a camel or horse, and a fourth meaning that is so obscene that you'll have to look it up for yourself."
-- ???

"In the present case, the Internet could be viewed as a super-telescope set up on the Welsh hills overlooking the Irish Sea. Via the web (or the super-telescope) it would merely be possible to look into the defendant’s shop."
-- High Court judgement

"I'm sure a lot of you would have mocked Josh's collegue for having a constant named COMMA. Ha! Who's laughing now?"
-- Daily WTF, comment on
#define COMMA "|"


Apr. 15th, 2008 01:00 am
jack: (happy/hannukah)
"Can I post binary files here?"
-- comp.basilisk faq

"My friend expressed surprise that you could get ants sent to you in the mail. I replied: 'What's really interesting is that these people will send a tube of live ants to anyone you tell them to.' Security requires a particular mindset."
-- Bruce Schneier

S: "It seems everyone's being hit by the baby stick."
Me: "The baby stick? Oh, is that what they call them nowadays?"

Me: "Thank you very much, I'm very glad I've found someone nice to share with, that's very convenient".
Sebastian: "Thank you for sharing."

" the article is quite good, and includes at least sketches of the various proofs that 0.999... = 1 ... the arguments ... are interesting, .. one gets to watch people who don't really understand why this should be true, but want to understand it ... It might give you a headache, though. It's like sausage being made."
--Isabel, God Plays Dice

"Headline: Gay Scientists Isolate Christian Gene!"
-- via robh

"Col Mustard is so heartbroken that he kills himself, in the billiard room, with the lead piping, which causes a certain amount of confusion further down the line."
--Andrew Rilstone

"If the planet’s seas really do rise, I’m going to the Netherlands. [The] attitude is 'what’s a few more feet on the dikes?' Not only have these people been keeping the North Sea out since the Middle Ages, but they also work at it 24/7. If you want to get something done, ask a busy person." -- Patrick Neilson Heydon

"I can understand why you were confused. If you're trying to combine Suction and Inverted Psycho Suction, that would be enough to confuse anyone. Actually, I think you got off lucky; I'd expect that mixing Suction and Inverted Psycho Suction in your brain would lead the two to react and create a fantastic explosion which would reduce your brain and your head to gamma radiation leaving nothing but the top end of your spinal cord sticking out of your shirt, attached to nothing.

Of course, if this happens, the opponents should immediately summon the Director."
-- rec.bridge

"I can easily check just by looking down that I am not a poached egg (I have arms and legs, but not a white or a yolk). But who my father is, and whether or not he created the universe, is much less obvious."
-- Jacob

"But I really can't complain, since my title's cotaken from Einstein anyway. Yes, cotaken, as in I took the complement of what Einstein said; there are no arrows getting reversed involved here."
--Isabel, God Plays Dice
jack: (wine)
These quotes not be quite up to the normal hoped for quality, however, I wanted to get something posted and they are all nice. Several of the gemmiest witticisms have been in interpersonal email recently, and I've stopped trying to catch them all and work out which are sufficiently context-free and non-private to reproduce, so aren't here.

"He has apparently never made any secret of the fact that he has a male friend with whom he maintains a platonic relationship, in all possible senses of the word."

Quotes )
jack: (Default)
Q: Are you scottish?
A: Yes.
Q: Where are you from?
A: Scotland.
-- From an ceilidh. (Actually, that didn't happen, but it's how I heard it in my head, ok?)

Lesbian Speed Dating Pastiche Video via Vyvyan via Feanalwa A: I'm sorry, I'm just not ready for a relationship right now.
Lesbian Speed Dating Pastiche Video via Vyvyan via Feanalwa Q: ... How about now?

GINI: Mmm, sex. It makes anything better.
FERRET: Not prison.

Q: You might not claim it was the best of all possible sonnets, but it was a spectacular local maximum.
A: Aww! That's not only a lovely compliment, it's a maths related lovely compliment.

"I probably should give the cow the benefit of the doubt."
-- bugshaw.

"My Census Bureau contact tells me that the authors of the data file have seen the wisdom of my point of view, in spite of my unconstructive and unhelpful feedback (I said 'Wow, that is an incredibly terrible idea')
-- Mark Dominus

"[Readers[1]] may not have heard about it, because it concerns (a) India, (b) Australia, and (c) cricket. For Americans who are not international news junkies, the quantity of news encountered about any of these three topics in a week will typically amount to zero."
-- Geoffrey K. Pullum

Mornington Crescent (game)
[box: All or part of this article may be confusing or unclear.]

DM: 'you are an evil dice...I like that'

GM: 'It's semi-evil! Evil-esque.'

Q: So we have four and a half elves?
A; Whats the exchange rate?
Q: How many of us would we need to swap to get a dragon?
DM: What would the rest of you do once you'd swapped yourselves?
Q: We could take turns playing it.
A: Or play bits of it. I'll be the left wing.
A: Flap! Flap!

[1] Interestingly, the original referred to American readers, but taken out of context, I thought it a lot funnier when the country in question wasn't emphasised.
jack: (Default)
"In general, a mathematical term that does not have several conflicting definitions is not important enough to be worth learning."
-- Jeffry/Rich via godplaysdice

"The phrase...which has become a cliché, came from Rinehart's novel The Door, in which the butler actually did do it."
--Sometimes, wikipedia excessly cross-linking can be done witily and informatively

"You're the rogue! You can't call 'not it' for sneaking around and getting rid of a corpse!"

"I'm not sure what that says about the quality of the episode. If the quality they were going for was marmite, then I think they've achieved it."

"Children are unlike cigarettes though, in that they tend to turn into grown-ups given enough time."

"Cold Calling Is Dead! Picture a life without cold calling ... Order my book ... Enter your primary email address in the box below, and we will send you our newsletter, including excerpts from... "
Seen in google ads. Is it irony? Or successful marketing?

"The filmmakers added new scenes to the film, including one...similar to one a sound-alike had uttered in a fan trailer. In it, Mr. Jackson repeatedly uses an Oedipal expletive to describe both the snakes and the plane."
-- Wall street journal review of Snakes of a Plane, via language log

"XML has an extremely low signal to noise ration."
--Best typo ever.

"One lesson to learn from all this is that those early Royal Society guys were very smart, and when they say something has a mysterious 0.4x in it, you should assume they know what they are doing."
-- Mark Dominus

O.J. Simpson is in jail for trying to reclaim some items in Las Vegas that an alleged thief stole from him. If O.J. is found guilty of asking a thief to return his belongings, he could go to jail for 30 years.

I assume O.J. is kicking himself for not killing everyone in the room, covering himself in their DNA, and going golfing. You have to stick with what works. What the Hell was he thinking?
-- Scott Adams

"Ecclesiastical heraldry differs notably from other heraldry in the use of special symbols around the shield to indicate rank in a church or denomination. The most prominent of these symbols is the ecclesiastical hat."
-- wikipedia
jack: (Default)
return("You must express the magnitude of the dollar amount using modern, Arabic-derived numerals formatted according to base-10 (decimal) convention, most significant digit first.")
-- Andy Goth, thedailywtf.com

Officer to radio: There's a Darth-Vader-like figure on the loose. Probably Darth Vader. Last seen...
-- From a starwars rpg

The party found a luxurious room in the dungeon and went to ransack the place, ignoring the DM's description. There was supposed to be a giant bear in the place (acting like a rug or something) but no one noticed. A bit peeved, the DM had this bear attack the lot of us from out of nowhere, and by surprise.
 "Wait a minute! You never said there was a monster here!"
 "Sure I did. [reads] 'In the room there is a chair, bear, table...'"
Later the DM tried it again:
 "You see a chest, dragon, flagon..."
He didn't get any farther.
--From a non-starwars rpg

Me: OK, I know this bid went horribly wrong for you last hand, but Two No Trump.
LHO: Pass.
Part: Pass.
RHO: Double.
Me: ...wait, is this the hand we just played?
All: *sigh*
-- UBC

I don't know, but it's a full round spell, so it's probably bad. Let me rephrase, "The unarmed woman! Shoot the unarmed woman!"
-- Me, from a low-level roleplaying campaign.

DM: *rolls* Okay, the anitmatter grenade sails in a perfect arc into the creatures mouth and it swallows it. I'm wondering why you left the grenade unprimed.
Fighter:*grins* Those digestive juices? What'll be the first part of the grenade that fails?
DM: The casing, I gue...*comprehension* *facepalm* You are all okay, because you're shielded by the neutronium armor.
DM: Great game, guys.
DM: But now I have to revise my notes significantly.
--From a similar to starwars rpg

For all you know, it's the home of Lady Niceness von Puppies, local do-gooder.
-- From an rpg, DM on plot twists.

Rickrolled. Being rickrolled is when a hapless internet surfer clicks on a video link, but instead is brought to a music video of the 80's pop star Rick Astley. A video tutorial of how not to be rickrolled can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSsJ19sy3JI
-- wikipedia.org wiki.answers.org or rickrolled.org

I feel that this book started out well but lacked something of an ending. The writing styles change intermittedly and seem to lack something of a finesse, blatantly stating things that cannot be taken literally or figuratively well enough to purvey a superior understanding of the text.
-- Amazon reader review (of the bible).

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
--S. Kelly-Bootle, via robhu

Fortunately for him, I had a commuting-suitable unicycle I could lend him.

No *real* bunnies were harmed during the making of this idiolect entry.
-- rochvelleth
jack: (Default)
"And I went to the Carlton to take a weighed moving average opinions of previous Reeves, who approved mostly of my plans."

"Hey, a guy here used a [÷ gesture] sign! I haven't seen one of those since primary school. Everyone I know is a mathematician or a programmer, so uses [\ gesture]. No, I mean [/ gesture]."

"1. Does [function] work?
2.Why not?"

Hey, I saw a Gourmet Burger King
Well, ok, I saw a shop that *said* it was a Gorument Burger King

I've been in love many times, and been hurt many times. Don't worry, this time was one of my favourite.

Market Segmentation, n. Selling Getting Things Done software to people on a "free if you cancel in the first month" basis.

"Using integration for that... It's like firing off a cannon to destroy some kind of abstract concept which it hadn't previously occurred to you that cannons could interact with."

"What's that?"
"It's a quantum vector detector."
"Why does it look like a normal mirror?"

"If you happen to have tact at your disposal, try employing it."

"Why are you hitting on me? Don't you know I'm a lesbian?"
"No. It says I don't right on your T-shirt!"

1 // OK
0 // Gan aft aglee


Oct. 18th, 2007 05:33 pm
jack: (Default)
1. "We used to quip that "password" is the most common password. Now it's "password1." Who said users haven't learned anything about security?" -- Bruce Schneier.

In fact, there were many less funny but more optimistic trends to be drawn.

And indeed, often I want to use the simplest password the submission will let me. I have a weak password I use for throwaway accounts on websites where possible. Of course, this only works if the only thing risked is *my* access, if hacking the account wouldn't escalate someone else's privelege nor let them spam email to arbitrary addresses. Eg. if the site has no more functionality, or lets anyone sign up, or lets you do some things only after you've authenticaed in a slightly more rigorous fasion.

2. "If the PuTTY web site is down (Connection Timed Out), please don't bother mailing us to tell us about it. Most of us read our e-mail on the same machines that host the web site, so if those machines are down then we will notice before we read our e-mail." -- The PuTTY team

Which is completely true, of course. I just thought it was well-phrased.

3. // Version 0.1 "What happens when you try to develop a bug tracking system with a bug tracking system"
int main() {
printf("Bug 0\n");
printf("printf("Reproduce: Run the program\n");
printf("What happened: Terminated immediately with errcode 0\n");
printf("What I expected: A bug tracking system\n");
printf("Assigned to: me\n");
printf("Suggested fix: Write a bug tracking system\n");
printf("Status: under development\n");
return 0;

4. Two hale young men coming out of formal hall:
First: Do you remember Woof? The series of children's books about a guy who turns into a dog?
Second: No.
First: You're INSANE.
Second: But it sounds good!

5. "The male is generally silent but gives a low whistle during court. The female makes a gruff growling call."

6. Verne famously got ticked at Wells for making bleep up, pointing out that Wells had no Cavorite to hand, while he had used an entirely plausible cannon to launch three buckets of soup to the Moon. -- Making Light

7. TBQ: So Lestat and Nicolas run away to Paris together.
Other Person: Uh-huh.
TBQ: And get an apartment together.
OP: Uh-huh.
TBQ: And sleep together.
OP: Uh-huh.
TBQ: And talk about how they love each other.
OP: Uh-huh.
TBQ: And kiss each other before they go to bed at night - in the same bed, mind you.
OP: Uh-huh.
TBQ: And then in later books Lestat talks about how much he loved Louis. And then he tries to sleep with David. And in Tale of the Body Thief he repeatedly talks about how he loves men as much as he loves women.
OP: Uh-huh.
TBQ: So you see what I'm saying?
OP: Sure. But, he's not gay. He's French.
TBQ: [bangs forehead into desk] --BratQueen

8. We saw a pigeon with what looked like an olive branch, though it may have been privet, and the water is out of the house now, so we let the pairs of taller animals go. -- About recent flooding

9. int error() {
  return 0/0;

10 "I know some pretty unscrupulous art dealers, but I doubt even they deserve this." -- Five days a stranger


Jan. 3rd, 2007 04:21 pm
jack: (Default)
Is P=NP? In a 2002 poll of 100 researchers, 61 believed the answer is no, 9 believed the answer is yes, 22 were unsure, and 8 believed the question may be independent of the currently accepted axioms, and so impossible to prove or disprove. --Wikipedia

John Wilkes Booth (May 10, 1838 – April 26, 1865) was an American stage actor. He is best known today as the assassin of President Abraham Lincoln. -- Wikipedia

"The next morning I remembered nothing but that I had had a "clever" inspiration while guzzling whisky from the bottle. "Oh, no," I muttered, "What did I do?" And I went to the computer to see what damage I had wrought. I called up the problematic part of the program, and regarded my alcohol-inspired solution. There was a clear and detailed comment explaining the solution, and as I read the code, my surprise grew. "Hey," I said, astonished, "it really was clever."

And then I saw the comment at the very end of the clever section: "Told you so."

I don't know what to conclude from this, except perhaps that I should have spent more of my life drinking whiskey. I did try bringing a flask with me to work every day for a while, about fifteen years ago, but I don't remember any noteworthy outcome. But it certainly wasn't a disaster. Still, a lot of people report major problems with this strategy, so it's hard to know what to make of my experience."
-- www.plover.com/blog/

For every Halo, there are a dozen Universal Studios Theme Park Adventure. No offense to the people who wrote that game, I came upon it with a search for "worst video game") -- www.plover.com/blog/

And in fact such a definition is satisfactory when we are concerned with defining a time exclusively for the place where the watch is located; but it is no longer satisfactory when we have to connect in time series of events occurring at different places  -- Einstein

I am now going to do something I’m not sure I’ve ever done before. I am going to praise something Robert Jordan wrote. -- limyaael

Arrow Key--Move.
Z'key -- Blow up self. --Complete controls for a videogame

Lord, do I hate repeating unattributed quotes, because they usually turn out to have been coined by Hitler, or Orson Scott Card, or both -- terrifel, boards.straightdope.com

Hey! eBay! You're not microsoft! Stop fucking with my HTML! --boards.straightdope.com?

Integrating Sqrt(tan). This one's easy. Use the method of guess-and-check. Guess a function, differentiate it, and see if you get the original function back. If you do, you're done. If not, guess again. The key to the method of guess and check is to make good guesses. Here, I would recommend guessing 1/2*tan(x)^(1/2)*cos(x)*2^(1/2)*arccos(cos(x)-sin(x))/(cos(x)*sin(x))^(1/2)-1/2*2^(1/2)*ln(cos(x)+2^(1/2)*tan(x)^(1/2)*cos(x)+sin(x)) . Sure enough, when we check d/dx [1/2*tan(x)^(1/2)*cos(x)*2^(1/2)*arccos(cos(x)-sin(x))/(cos(x)*sin(x))^(1/2)-1/2*2^(1/2)*ln(cos(x)+2^(1/2)*tan(x)^(1/2)*cos(x)+sin(x))] , we get sqrt(tan(x)). It's simple!" -- boards.straightdope.com
jack: (Default)
I occasionally read some [livejournal.com profile] mock_the_stupid. It's sometimes funny, though often a bit repetitive. I try to avoid it, because I always want to say "Ah, but what if..." and "If you define the words like this, it's not stupid" and "I think I said that once" and "It's a natural mistake, it needs to be ironic or at least punny"

But half a dozen items tonight made me think they were worth propagating abbreviated versions thereof.

Firstly, a wonderful example of out-out-out-out-pedanting

Student: I measured my heartrate like you said, but it doesn't change however I run.
Teacher: Hmm.
Student: Could my pacemaker be effecting it?
Teacher: *headdesk*
Poster #1: "Affecting"?
Poster #2: No, actually, it really should be effecting it -- or she'd be dead.
Poster #1: I think she meant "have an effect on", ie. affect.
Poster #2: I'm sure she did, but I think she *should* have meant "effect" ie. "cause to exist"
Poster #1: But it should beat anyway, if irregularly.
Poster #2: Ah, yes, it *affects* the heart *beat* but it *effects* the heart *rate* -- there would be no constant measurable rate otherwise.

More... )
jack: (Default)
OK, I was telling S. about the imagine BASIC with irrational-valued lines, running uncountably many instructions in a finite time, as quipped about here. http://cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com/233485.html. I was unable to resist adding another quote:

We may have made a mockery of "Beginners" Instruction Langauge but we've got "All Purpose" down pat!
jack: (Default)
Apropos to my sleepyness my ideas from last night were not amazing, but all were fairly good. A wonderful quote on the subject from The Universe of Discourse is:
The next morning I remembered nothing but that I had had a "clever" inspiration while guzzling whisky from the bottle. "Oh, no," I muttered, "What did I do?" And I went to the computer to see what damage I had wrought. I called up the problematic part of the program, and regarded my alcohol-inspired solution. There was a clear and detailed comment explaining the solution, and as I read the code, my surprise grew. "Hey," I said, astonished, "it really was clever." And then I saw the comment at the very end of the clever section: "Told you so."

I don't know what to conclude from this, except perhaps that I should have spent more of my life drinking whiskey. I did try bringing a flask with me to work every day for a while, about fifteen years ago, but I don't remember any noteworthy outcome. But it certainly wasn't a disaster. Still, a lot of people report major problems with this strategy, so it's hard to know what to make of my experience.
One's subconcious is sometimes witty. And sometimes effective.

Coincidently, recently, I've got the hang of commenting my code well! Cool.

That blog, by Mark Dominus, is very intriguing. I think fanf or senji linked to it, but every few days he has something to say about something obscure but relevent to every day life, that always makes me think. If I had the time it's a good example of the sort of discourse I would like to output.
jack: (Default)
1. "Mr Prancebody became excited and was somewhat eponymously ejected by the police." -- Watership Down, Richard Adams

2. "Review that made my head go all desky:" -- twilightsrain

3. “A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. As a writer, you are expected to know the difference.” -- ???

4. "Things I know are dumb but do anyway? My girlfriend." -- NoClueBoy (paraphrased)

5. "Hello. I am not going to answer this phone, ever. It is switched off, it always has been switched off, and it always will be switched off unless I'm calling emergency services. If, when doing so, I find messages on my phone, I will delete them. If you want me to get back to you today, email me. If you want me to get back to you in a few days, leave a message on the home phone. Byeeeeeee." -- Paraphrased from BitesWhenProvoked

6. "He, in a few minutes ravished this fair creature, or at least would have ravished her, if she had not, by a timely compliance, prevented him." --Henry Fielding in "Jonathan Wild"

7. "One of the buildings in the university I attend has a large Focault's pendulum in the lobby. Someone has attached a sign to its cable that says, 'Warning - Stay away from cable. 18,000 ohms.' " -- Chris Giauque

8. "Calling [the film 'Analyze This'] 'Analyse This' is as wrong as talking about Slade's single 'Come On; Feel The Noise'." -- ox.* grammar faq.

9. There’s a reason we call it "search" and not "find". -- Steve Levy

10. "My four miles was based on one trip per day -- but assumed that she lived, say, two miles the other side of you from work, so you'd be doing regular commute + two miles to her house, then two miles back to your house, thus four miles you wouldn't otherwise drive, once per day. YMMV. (Damn! It's as fun as using "hopefully" correctly!)" -- twickster


Dec. 12th, 2005 05:20 pm
jack: (Default)
Latest entries in quotefile (either well known or personal):

1. Obituary game, French, James, 1966 "How about this for a headline? French fries." -- ???

2. Here's Dominique Bouhours, grammarian: "I am about to, or, I am going to die. Either expression is used."

3. "And one guy is more than 10x cheaper than ten, because (a) he won't waste any time in meetings, and (b) since he's probably a founder, he can pay himself nothing." -- Paul Graham

4. "Each deal has to be for multiple millions of dollars. It explains why [...] their due diligence feels like a body cavity search.And since most VCs aren't tech guys, the technology side of their due diligence tends to be like a body cavity search by someone with a faulty knowledge of human anatomy." -- Paul Graham

5. "The first discovery I'd like to present here is an algorithm for lazy evaluation of research papers. Just write whatever you want and don't cite any previous work, and indignant readers will send you references to all the papers you should have cited. I discovered this algorithm after ``A Plan for Spam'' [1] was on Slashdot." -- Paul Graham

6. "I don't know what it is that causes people to find disgusting things and then want to share them with other people, but..."-- Rory Blyth (and six fifths of everyone on the internet)

7. "Whatever his flaws, it can never be argued that George, in his tireless fight against evildoers and enemies of freedom, makes things seem more complicated than they are." -- Gene Weingarten'

8. "Your friend has no smell? How does he... wait, this won't work." -- Simon H.

9. "For a further description of the many ways in which BrikWars is not in any way connected with LEGO®, you are invited to read our lengthy legal disclaimer." -- BrikWars FAQ

10. "You're an internet denizen. What do you know about zoofile.com?" "I don't know. It sounds like a file sharing site." "Oh. Ah, no not 'f', 'ph'." "Wow! I didn't think there was any way you could make this conversation less worksafe, but that was an order of magnitude worse." -- Jack and Simon H.